It happened again!
I’m blogging from an airport that I’ve been stuck in since early this morning. Of course, that’s nothing new when your job requires you to travel a lot. What makes this “stuck” situation more interesting is that is it is a continuum of a long weekend of “GOD, WHAT’S GOING ON?!” scenarios that often leave me wrestling with my faith a little.
If you read some of my blogs you know that as much as I love music, the business of music has become a difficult bed to lay in for many artist. You work hard to give your listeners your heart put to melodies, but the machines of radio and corporations don’t always allow the listener to get to know the music. So I’m stuck in this airport because this whole weekend I’ve been trying to track down a very powerful individual in the field of marketing and radio. He’s been very influential in my career in the past so it seems natural to get his wisdom and endorsement on what my next move needs to be with this album. Because he’s crazy busy, everyday the meeting changes to another city or time. Along with other things I’m trying to do to complete the album, I feel like I’m chasing my tail in my own strength to finish up what I pray is a strong body of work. I finally pinned down a city he wanted me to fly to this morning after days and days of feeling like it wasn’t going to happen, only for my plane to break down on my way to this BIG meeting. Yes, I’m stuck because my plane broke down.
The old Kirk would not be blogging at this moment. He’d be screaming, depressed and defeated. Singing a sad song in some corner next to the magazine stand and Starbucks by gate 24, but this time, I wanted to fight to try to do something different. Maybe, just maybe, this was the work of the invisible hand…again.
See, the lesson that I’ve learned that has kept me sane in seasons of crazy uncertainty is to grab ahold of the mysterious strange yet peaceful truth of the sovereignty of God. That everything physical and visible is first proceeded by that which is spiritual and invisible. Nothing happens that God’s hand is not involved in. I know that opens up a whole world of questions bigger than my broken plane, but I have found that in His love, He allows planes to break to get me to another location: His presence.
And one of the most important things that I had to continue to ask myself during this whole weekend was, “Is this more about me than God?” All of the canceled meetings forced me to analyze my motives for why I’m tying so hard to meet with this guy.. Was I looking for him to do God’s job? Was I putting all of my hope in “his” power and not HIS power? You may think those are super spiritual questions, but in a time where self sufficiency is on the rise, and everyone is looking to their “inner-self” for all the answers, it would behoove us to go the extra mile to determine who is driving our lives. Especially when it seems so many roadblocks are appearing along the way. I’ve learned that how I respond to those roadblocks determines where the riches of my heart lie.
I find that often my actions show that I don’s want God to say no to my plan, because in my mind my plan helps HIM out. “God” I say, “this can get your name out there in the world in a bigger way. I can do this for you and THAT for you, I can make you bigger than “Taylor Swift!”. But in the whisper of those broken planes, you can hear the propellers speak “I already Am”.
Yes!, God is not insecure with His image and brand like I am mine. He’s not concerned with where He is on the charts or if they play His word a million times a day. He’s after souls. He’s after our will. He’s after our plans. And He will cause three and a half hour delays to get whatever attention He needs. Don’t make the delay longer than it needs to be by trying to fix what God continues to break! Felt a shout right there!
When the plane pulled back into the gate, everyone was scrambling to get on the next flight. Instead, I just took a seat. And waited. I’d experienced so many delays and changes the entire weekend due to chasing this meeting that I needed to sit down to see what God was saying. A nice guy even noticed me and offered to give me his seat on another airline. But the gate was too far away so it was a little too risky. I didn’t want to try anything in my own power again. So I sat there. Until they fixed the plane.
I’m finishing this blog in the air right now, I will only have less than an hour with this guy I’ve been telling you about, because he has another meeting scheduled this afternoon. So my mind again has to be “Father, if this is your will, it will happen and it will be what YOU want it to be. You’re flying this plane now”.
I’ll keep you posted about the meeting….