The Art of Losing

I am going to try something here that I know will border on the line of blasphemy. I am visualizing the stones being prepared to be hurled at me in the public square right now. See this is America, and the analogy being used is…Football. Click..the sound of computers and smart phones being turned off by men all over this great land of ours…

I’m writing this the day after the Superbowl, and by now it’s been discussed, analyzed and debated about what happened during the biggest game in the land. Regardless of the thoughts, mistakes, or views of even the writer of this blog, the nature of any competitive sport is there will be a winner, and a loser. We can argue until the next Superbowl about what should have happened, good or bad, [I want so bad to show my hand here!] and everyone wants their team to win the big game. But the rules only allow one trophy to go to one team. One team stays for the praise and the celebration, one team gets on the bus, and goes home; even if the ride back to some was unnecessary.

Because, reader, you are a mortal, you will find your self at different seasons in your life. At one point, you’ll stand on the podiums bathing in the success of good seasons, and at others you’ll bang your head in bewilderment of a bad choice, a bad call, or just the winds of life… silent in the empty darkness of losing.

You may be a beast in your profession, the hot young gun straight out of college, the new M.C. who’s album is outselling Jay Z, or the parents of a perfect child who didn’t get pregnant in high school and is on her way to feed young children in Bangladesh.

Never get too comfortable watching the scoreboard player, because no one is immune to the beautiful gift given to us from the heavens called losing.

Let me explain.

By the grace and kindness of God, I have been blessed to receive nine Grammys and many other titles, and awards over my twenty year career.

On the other side of new, I can tell you with the most confidence and humility, that I have learned more, and grown more losing a Grammy then when I won one.

See, winning can make the winner lazy, complacent, proud. When you lose, or even become accustomed to losing, you become hungry, relentless, you study other winners, their strengths and weaknesses, and your work ethic is on ten. Why? If you don’t work, you don’t eat!

Now I am aware that many of you are going to disagree with me vehemently because that has not been your experience at all with losing. May I lovingly suggest that the problem has not been with losing, but your response to it. I’ve learned that trials in life leave us in one of two ways: better, or bitter.
Two people can be in the same accident. One comes out with the epiphany that their life was headed down the wrong track, they stopped going to church a long time ago, stopped praying, and now they see this as a wake up call to clean house, get the junk out of their lives, and come back to God. The other comes out of the same situation angry at God, angry at the people that were involved, and they spend the rest of their lives getting revenge at God, and everyone else. Two people, same accident, different compasses in their hearts.

But if you allow losing to do what it was divinely created to do, it can be the most effective cleaning agent in your life.

Give losing a chance and it can:

1. Address hidden weaknesses you didn’t even know you had.
2. Reveal that you were not as humble as you thought you were, you just acted that way to make people think you were baby Jesus.
3. Clean some people out of your life. You may have become more dependent on a boss, a friend, a coach [it’s just an illustration!] in your winning season than the One that gave you the gift to win.

There is an art to losing. And the key factor is always to remember: how you see the problem, IS the problem. So when you do win, because you will, you will cherish it wisely. Because of the price it took to get there.

The Superbowl happens every year. That’s good news for you who think you’ve missed your chance at winning in life. Cause in Superbowls…ANYTHING can happen!

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