“For men with temperaments that predispose them to same-sex attractions, two key factors are (i) the lack of a strong father-son bond, and (ii) same-sex abuse as a child. For women, two key life factors are (i) the lack of a healthy relationship between mom and dad and (ii) sexual abuse (primarily opposite-sex) as a child.”
According to Lindevaldsen, children become gay because they had unhealthy relationships with their parents and/or because they were sexually abused. This is the same logic I was taught as I grew up, the same logic put forward by James Dobson and others like him. Lindevaldsen goes on to explain how this happens:
“Picture for a moment, a boy who is artistic, sensitive, talkative, and, as is frequently the case, not very athletic. Now imagine that his father has made clear that he had dreamed of having a boy that would be a star athlete. At some point, in some way, the father conveys his disappointment to his son, either expressly or implicitly – perhaps the father doesn’t spend time with this son or takes no interest in his son’s more artistic interests. The son soon realizes that he hasn’t lived up his father’s expectations and that he’s different (since the kids at school also make fun of his interests and personality.).”
So far, this story sort of makes sense. We can see the artistic young boy whose football tossing father doesn’t appreciate him. We can even see him getting picked on at school for not being athletic enough, or not being macho enough. But what does this have to do with “making” someone gay?
“It doesn’t take long before the son wishes he could be more like his father. Soon, the desire to be more like his father leads to the son idolizing other boys and men who have all the characteristics he believes that he is lacking. In essence, he idolizes all that he thinks he is not.”
Well…maybe. I have to say I find it difficult to believe that this boy would idolize those who are making fun of him and maybe even making his life a living hell. But then, I suppose plenty of girls hate what the popular girls do to those “beneath” them and simultaneously want to be like them. So I guess it’s totally possible. I’m just saying that alternatively this boy could just hate his father for being a prick and not appreciating any abilities outside of football, and hate those bigger boys who pick on him. This is a minor point, though, because the real kicker comes next.
“As he gets older, the feeling change from idolizing to a longing to be close with men – to be attracted to them. From the son’s perspective, he hopes that having a sexual relationship with a man he perceives to be all that he is not will fill the void in his life, will make him feel whole, but it does not.”