Whose Job Is It to Educate?

Last week a commenter asked a question about being transgender. Some commenters answered her question, but others took her to task for asking the question in the first place. And indeed, in her comment she said that transition seemed unnecessary because gender is a construct and because individuals with eating disorders are encouraged to learn to accept their bodies rather than to change them. But later, she explained that she was 17 and outside of her parents’ internet surveillance for the first time in her life, and that she had only just learned that there were transgendered people the week before, and that she was simply trying to understand it and to educate herself.

This brings up a whole slough of important questions for any community such as this: What place do 101-level questions have in a forum where most people are discussing issues on a higher plane? How can we tell if questions that are phrased poorly or even offensively are good-faith questions or trolling in action? Is it our job to educate others, or others’ job to educate themselves?

My preference is to answer good-faith questions in good faith, and to assume that questions are in good faith until proven otherwise. I recently had a rather draining facebook back-and-forth with a friend of my high-school-aged sister-in-law on her facebook page. He had made a sexist comment and I called him for it, and then I had to explain why it was sexist, and explain why accusing me of being overly-emotional on the issue was wrong, and why arguing that sexism goes both ways is both wrong and derailing. It was frustrating. But just when I thought he was a lost cause and I was wasting my time, he made a complete about-face, explained that he hadn’t realized he was falling into patterns commonly used to excuse sexism, and thanked me for educating him. If I had gotten upset and told him to go eff himself—and there were plenty of times I felt like doing just that—I wouldn’t have changed a mind.

But I also understand that I am not obligated to educate people in this way. If I can change a mind, that’s great, but I am not obligated to approach every single situation with the goal of changing minds. Sometimes I may have other goals, such as creating a safe space for myself or for others. Or, you know, just living. And it’s not as though other individuals are incapable of educating themselves on these issues—they can learn by visiting feminist websites and reading the words of others just as well as they can from a discussion of sexism, or what have you, with me. Better, in some cases.

This is even more of an issue for further marginalized groups, such as those who are transgender. Transgender individuals are constantly called on to justify their very existence. It has to be maddening to have these questions asked again and again and again. As a feminist, constantly being asked to justify my desire to vote or to not be required by law to obey my husband would get old in an hurry, and what transgender individuals get is far worse. It’s not surprising that at least some transgender people would begin to bristle at questions and demand that the questioners educate themselves rather than demanding that others educate them.

But here we start to arrive at the root of the question. Let’s say someone asks a transgender individual a question that is unintentionally offensive, and the transgender individual tells him to eff off. If the person asking the question becomes anti-trans as a result, that’s on him. But clearly, being told to eff off doesn’t help. Or does it? Because what is the goal? Is the primary goal of an interaction like this for the marginalized to educate the privileged? If so it clearly failed. But what if there are other goals? What about marginalized individuals feeling safe, or having the option not to engage with offensive questions, whether intentional or unintentional? What about the marginalized individual’s wellbeing?

Is it fair to ask marginalized individuals to spend their lives educating privileged individuals? What is more important—comfort for marginalized individuals or changing privileged individuals’ minds? Obviously, on some level, both are important. But while it’s useful for marginalized individuals to educate privileged individuals, the marginalized are not obligated to do so—and there is nothing to stop the privileged from educating themselves. When privileged individuals demand marginalized individuals to educate them, they are speaking from a position of power.

Today, there is the internet. There is a lot of crap out there, unfortunately, but people can usually find answers to these sorts of questions with a simple google search. It’s worth remembering that when someone asks a 101-level question on a forum like this they are, in some sense, asking others to do their work for them. I’ve heard it said that privileged individuals should take the time to educate themselves rather than expecting marginalized people to educate them. I can see the merit in this. With the internet, people can find transgender spaces dedicated to educating others, or blogs where transgender people describe their journeys and struggles. The same goes for feminism, and so on.

But does that mean people should not ask transgendered individuals questions about being transgender, or feminists questions about feminism, or so on? No. Speaking person to person (or computer to computer) offers the chance for a back-and-forth and can help lead to deeper understanding, or chance moments of learning and growing. If I hadn’t engaged my sister-in-law’s friend on her facebook page, he would not be as attuned to sexism as he is today. For me, that’s part of being an activist. We have to start somewhere. Laws can only fix so much. We must also change people. But at the same time, no specific individual is obligated to educate others, and those asking questions should be willing to listen to answers and to take some responsibility for educating themselves.

And now we come back to my blog. Not infrequently, someone asks a 101-level question on this post or that. This blog is not generally heavy on theory, and 101-level discussions aren’t entirely out of place. Indeed, not a few readers have emailed me and told me that my blog helped them learn basic information propelled them on the path toward becoming out-and-out feminists. But sometimes these conversations can derail comment threads and get in the way of more complex or interesting discussions.

So where do we go from here? Obviously, this is my blog. As such, I set the rules. I have my own comment policy and revise it as needed. Other spaces may have different rules, and that’s a good thing—we need a variety of different spaces for a variety of different purposes. If you don’t like the way I run my blog and the discussion forum it has become, you may find another blog or forum more to your liking—and that’s a good thing.

Here is the plan going forward:

First, I will be opening a new feature titled “Q&A: Basic Questions and Conversations.” Like the Lesbian Duplex, Q&A will be a recurring feature and will be located under the “chatter” tab. These posts will be open comment sections designed specifically for 101-level questions and conversations. If you’re not interested in answering 101-level questions (or in sharing helpful links or resources for those who want to learn more) feel free to avoid these posts.

Second, in the future, when someone asks a 101-level question on another comment thread, I would ask commenters to give them a link to this post (if you feel they are being problematic) and a link to the latest 101-level thread (so that they can ask their question there). I am not barring interested commenters from answering 101-level questions on other comment threads, but I think this may relieve some of the tension that sometimes pops up.