Over the last week, due to the leaked interview of Joseph L. Bishop, I have read hundreds of comments in regards to situations where the priorities of how we deal with sexuality in our church would be considered comical (twilight zonish) if not for it being so tragic and life altering for its members. I think I get used to hearing these stories after so many years… but I have to admit, my anger has been riled to high levels... Read more
It was extremely sad, and yet not surprising, to see the information shared on Mormon Leaks today in regards to prior Provo MTC president, Joseph L. Bishop. Another example (in many I have been privy of) where LDS leaders are protected from correct investigation and prosecution… (not to mention church discipline) usually because a “repentance” process is undergone by leaders who don’t pass the responsibility to civil authorities and who don’t want to ruin another’s reputation. I also want to... Read more
A big part of cognitive behavioral therapy is learning how to shift the way we think… especially when the way we are thinking is not in our best interest and is not backed up by credible evidence. A good example is if we face a failure and then start the inner dialogue of “I am such a loser. I am worthless. I always fail.” We call these “thinking errors.” Affirmations can be one way to combat these. They may feel... Read more
I am currently going through a divorce and am really struggling with anxiety. The things that used to help me feel grounded, specifically scripture study and prayer, don’t seem to be helping me much at all. I’m having such a hard time with feelings of betrayal… it’s extra painful when my spiritual tools also seem to be betraying me. What can I do? I am sorry to hear you are experiencing such pain. When we go through an especially difficult... Read more
I grew up with the idea that I would get married and in marriage I would become sexually awoke. That my husband would be the person that would give me sexual pleasure. I think that many of the expectations I had around how easy this would be were really wrong. And now that I am left with sexual disappointment and heartache… even with a man I deeply love… I’m not sure what to do. Help. In no other area of... Read more
I have permission to share the following post from an anonymous author in regards to her experience in testimony meeting last week. I share it because I feel it is a brilliant example of a ward community who, for the most part, made room for the type of honesty and questioning necessary to build strength in Zion. Fake conformity in spaces that don’t feel safe enough to share our struggles… even our struggles of testimony… is not edifying or helpful... Read more
My husband was sexually abused by his uncle (10 years older) when he was a small child. He believed he told his parents in an off hand way and the abuse stopped. No one ever spoke to him about the abuse. He feels like he worked through the abuse on his mission and was able to turn it over to God and forgive his uncle. They are on good speaking terms (he feels comfortable talking with him at family events,... Read more
I am in so much pain from my current stance with the church… I feel like my whole world is falling apart. Everything I believed in now has a cloud of doubt. My husband is devastated that I feel this way. I am devastated. Yet I can’t change the way I think. Having read some of the essays the church put out last year… it just started this questioning of things… and I can’t think about them the same… because... Read more
Another guest post from “Sandy” — who was willing to give an interview to Mormon Mental Health about her experience of childhood sexual assault in the context of worthiness interviews (protectldschildren.org). She can use this blog as a platform for as many writings as she would like to post. I am so touched that we are sharing this particular post on what is a meaningful anniversary to her. This post also highlights my deep conviction of the importance of making... Read more
“No act loses us; no violence we’re subjected to destroys us; no debasement chases out the divine, and no one can take the divine from us.” Daniel Odier Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the Mormon Mental Health and Mormon Sex Info Podcasts, writes a regular column for Sunstone Magazine, is the current president of the Mormon Mental Health Association and runs a sex education... Read more
The Mormon Therapist
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