Advise for the holiday struggles

Advise for the holiday struggles June 8, 2011

In the past I have written about how my family enjoys the holiday celebrations that are typically American.  I have been blessed with a husband and extended family that are willing to go that extra mile for each other, and who are willing to compromise and accept the differences that enhance the flavor of our lives.

Over the weekend, a new commenter here posted a request for help.  Janelle writes:

“I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter and a wonderful, loving husband. After I gave birth to her I really wanted to change my life so she could live better than I did. My husband has grown up in a muslim family. And always celebrated christmas with my family for the past 5 years. I celebrated Christmas as a child with my family and we never did it for religious reasons. We did it to have a day where all of our family would come together, exchange gifts, and eat a lot of food. LoL. But since I converted and my husband has found himself again, mashallah. He has been really forceful on expressing himself that we will not celebrate anything but eid. That really hurts me. I keep thinking about the times that bring My side of the family together. I don’t know what to do! it would really hurt my mother, her being a first time grandmother. I will miss it to”


When I wrote Janelle explaining that I would post to all of you, asking for help and advise because it seems that what I would suggest may fall on deaf ears, she explained in more detail her struggle:

“I know that it is so far away but I still really enjoyed that time of year. And he had made it clear that we will not be participation at all. I don’t know…..i feel like I have so much up already. I don’t even see or talk to my family as much, he pulls this guilt trip on me all the time. My some of well most of my family members are not the cleanest people in their hearts, and he’s says that he is only trying to protect me. I see his way now that I am muslim but I can’t change who my family are, they will always be my family no matter what and I love them dearly. Example; when my mom comes to visit he leaves all night. and I can never have them together with me, he like makes me choose…..”


There needs to be some sort of compromise here.  He cannot expect her to abandon the life she had so suddenly, but it sounds as though she is being pushed to erase her whole life, prior to when her husband decided to be religious.   What do you think?



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