I Need Her as a Confidant
There are private things all of us need to discuss from time to time. I know that when I am confused or uncertain, I need to air my thoughts in the presence of someone who will not jump to a conclusion for me and will not immediately judge the right or wrong of my preliminary conclusions. A wife that is a good listener is invaluable because she is so handy, always there when thoughts run through our head. Most of what we say or propose never goes beyond words. Plans and ideas die with the speaking of them. To vocalize an idea is to build an imaginary model of it. Sometimes it doesn’t look as good spoken as it did in the imagination. All creative people need a confidant, someone who will not laugh or ridicule or run to the press or the neighbors. Wives are hungry to share their husband’s personal thoughts about work, worship, goals for the future, and all manner or wandering thoughts.
Cripes. Where is the reciprocity? Where is his admonition to men to listen to their wives? Why doesn’t this matter to Michael?
If your wife has proven to be an untrustworthy confidant, it indicates that she is hurt and crying out for respect and recognition. If she is quick to ridicule or judge or makes you feel foolish, it is because she is in attack mode, retaliating for previous hurts and her belief that you do not have goodwill toward her. If you have not depended on her has your help meet, and she has futilely knocked on your door a thousand times, saying “Here I am; let me help,” and you have turned her away, it indicates that she is deeply unfulfilled and feels that the hurt you caused her is intentional. So she hurts back. It is time to absorb the blows and embrace her when she is exhausted. Begin confiding in her “here a little and there a little,” and she will mellow out like a hound dog by the fireplace.
I tend to be kind of a gossip. Sometimes when my husband tells me something, I have a deep seated need to tell someone else. Usually my mum or best friend. It doesn’t at all mean I need respect or recognition. It means I have terrible impulse control. But that’s just me. Is anyone else getting the idea that Michael’s idea of making a woman into a “proper” help meet is simply to let the wives know all the ways they need to serve their husband, and then letting her “God given nature” do the rest? I do like the line “It is time to absorb the blows and embrace her when she is exhausted.” I think it was needed far before here. But comparing a woman to a hound dog? Seriously? Grrrr.
I Need Her Intimacy
Even the toughest, most independent man needs intimacy. I know, for I have never met a man more independent and self-sufficient in deportment than I. We were created to love and be loved and to care deeply. We began life cradled in Mother’s belly and then spent our first year cradled in her arms. Several more years passed with us continually fleeing back to the lap of Mother and Father and anybody else that would give us a hug and word of approval.
OK, Michael. We get it. You are a big, strong, independent manly man. You really don’t have to remind us quite so often.
I can still remember when I was a child taking an afternoon nap with my mother. We lived in a one-room house and had no air conditioner or fan. The bed was next to the window and my mother would lie down beside me and tickle my ear or twirl my hair. It never failed to put me to sleep. For a long time, I thought she was sleeping as well, but I eventually learned that she got up and went back to work while I slept, happy and secure. Men do not grow out of the need for intimacy.
Oh! This explains his honeymoon so much! His mother would put him down for a nap and then get back to work. Of course his wife should do the same! It’s all starting to make sense now. Though I have to admit, when I think of intimacy, I don’t automatically think about my parents.