by Doug Wilson from Blog and Mablog – A Dutch Uncle

Editor’s note: This is another piece on Doug’s advice to that young woman who was molested by her father for years. Today it involves Doug’s ideas of what harm college men will attempt to inflict on this supposedly fictional woman while they try to seduce her. Much of it reads like Wilson picked up all his ideas about college guys from movies like ‘Animal House’ and those ‘American Pie’ movies, both of which involved bonded groups of immature young guys either in a friend pack or as fraternity brothers, neither of which is always true of college men.

Doug Wilson also refers to himself as a ‘Dutch Uncle’ in the first part. I had to look up the term as I was very unfamiliar with it. Here’s the definition of it from Dictionary.com: “

noun, Sometimes Offensive.

1.

a person who criticizes or reproves with unsparing severity and frankness.

Origin of Dutch uncle

1820-1830

First recorded in 1820-30

So Wilson is using a derogatory term from the early 1800s to make a point? Oh my! We knew he was somewhat behind the times with his quaint insulting ideas but that’s a pretty far back reach for a phrase! Sounds more like a polite way to describe someone who is acting like an anus and spewing crap.

Now in a Christian setting, where the men are not leering or making suggestive comments all the time—where the men are acting civilized, in other words—it is easy for the women to forget how present the sexual element is for the men. So you are in a group with this guy, he is remembering his manners, and so you start looking to him as though he were an older brother. Now fathers and brothers and uncles have a crucial role to play, which is that of providing a male presence that is never sexual. When it turns sexual, that is a foundational betrayal. But when you have a friend who is like a brother, at least for you, there will be a time when it does turn sexual. And when that time comes, you will want to know the situation well enough that it does not feel like a betrayal as well. Do you see what I am getting at?

Doug then goes on to his usual dire warnings that sexual abuse not treated by his personal flavor of Jesus dooms one to a life of lesbianism, feminism, substance abuse and promiscuity. Can we please just retire all of these toxic labels in the discussions of healing from sexual abuse? They serve no purpose but to sow fear, they insult those words by impugning that something is wrong with anyone that fits his worldview of sin theology. The term ‘promiscuity’ needs to become as offensive to most people as the derogatory terms for race.

Yes, yes, I know the term ‘Frat Rats’ is derogatory too – but it fits the types of men Doug Wilson thinks lurk around in college.

None of this is to say that the erotic element is absent for you. It is to say that all the normal impulses are there for you, of course, but they are buried under a history of awful abuse. When such abuse is left unaddressed, when it is allowed it have its carnal way, it drives young women (usually) in one of two directions. Either they are tempted to retreat behind some kind of an impenetrable wall, where men are not allowed, or they just decide the world is gross, and “what’s the use anyway?” and simply give up. The former wind up as recluses, or lesbians, or ardent feminists—any place that makes it difficult for men to get close. The latter wind up in destructive cycles of substance abuse and promiscuity. Neither reaction will be kind to you. It is my desire to help you to prepare so that a third way opens up for you naturally.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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