Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – From Sin to Joy?

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – From Sin to Joy? June 8, 2017

AnsweringThis isn’t so much a question as it is an example of what happens when people at the lowest parts of their lives/marriages are exposed to one of the Pearl’s horrible books. This woman is thanking Debi for writing ‘Created To Be His Help Meet’

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

Saved: From Sin to Joy

I was born to “Christian” parents who had each left the spouse of their youth for each other. My parents did not attend church or talk about Jesus with me during my childhood. I know that they love me by the time & money they spent on my “good” public education & horseback riding career. I was educated by the ways of the world, becoming very distrustful of God and buying into the liberal agenda.

However, all my life I felt a pull on my heart that whispered I was destined for something greater. It was that whisper that kept me from becoming truly suicidal when I left home to attend college. 18, away from my controlling parent’s gaze & completely depressed, I searched for answers in the arms of whatever man would have me and whatever drugs I could find.
After 3 years, I returned to my parent’s home to finish my degree and found the man I thought would be my husband. What I found was an utterly broken heart, for the first time in my young life. I thought I’d become “tough” at college but that man found a gullible, silly girl & took advantage of my naïveté. He dumped me and was married (in a toga wedding, no less) a month later. From then on I was determined to approach love with my eyes wide open.
Just a year later I met a young man who had walked a different path than mine but with the same result. Born to poor Christian parents, “M” “jumped ship” at 18 into a life of sin similar to my own. We met at a party, and he looked like just my kind of trouble :) Ironically, his father was the man who shod my horses, and I had known him for nearly 10 years. “Papa J” had been praying for me since our first meeting. He saw through my “tough” exterior & prayed that I would come to know Christ. He and his wife had been praying for their son’s future wife since the time he was born. I honestly believe that it was their prayers that kept me from harm during my darkest times.
Our “courtship” was really something—at first, I thought I was pursuing M, teasing the handsome, slightly younger man into a relationship where I would have the upper hand. I quickly realized that he was quietly pursuing me, wooing me with respect and patience. Of course, at that point I panicked and tried to get away, making for a merry chase for my husband to remember.
5 months from the day we met I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. A week later I accepted M’s marriage proposal, and 6 months later we were married. In the stories, this is the part where I say “and we lived happily ever after.”
The reality is that less than 2 months from the day we said “I do,” M left to serve a year-long military deployment. I began to isolate myself from everyone, even God. I missed M desperately but I had no idea how to be a wife to him. I had no job & I was seriously depressed again. I was truly alone.
And I was finally where God wanted me. One of the church ladies stepped in & became my mentor. She offered me “Created to be His Help Meet,” saying that it had changed her & her marriage, but she cautioned me that it was not an easy read. I read it & began to be transformed. The lies of feminism came crashing down. I began to see the life God wanted for me. Suddenly, everything began to make more sense! I was able to claw my way out of the depression I’d been in since M had left, just in time for his homecoming.
My man returned to a new wife. We’ve had our share of struggles but I rejoice every day in the freedom I have found in my proper role as his help meet. He is a kind & thoughtful teacher of everything from the proper pitching of a pitchfork full of straw to cooking almost everything from scratch. More than those things though, he has taught me how to accept correction with grace & has patience with me as I learn to control my tongue. He is the most amazing husband I could’ve dreamed of being yoked to. Praise God for my salvation and my life mate!

This post has it all, shaming for past behavior, blaming parents and what sounds like might be a touch of depression and Debi’s words magically change it all.


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