Quoting Quiverfull: Debi Pearl Conquers Chicken Poop?

Quoting Quiverfull: Debi Pearl Conquers Chicken Poop? August 20, 2017

chickens

by Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy magazine – Now Debi Has Something in Common With a Common Egg

Editor’s note: No theology here, no toxic ideas. Sharing because it’s pretty funny. I hope Debi got all the chicken poop scrubbed out of her hair. Betting Michael teased her endlessly about this. Makes me wonder why Debi is doing the manly man work instead of Michael though.

Still, I did not panic, but I was a wee bit closer to doing so. It was hot—stifling hot—loud, and I was feverish. I imagined Mike cooking and visiting. Common sense told me that he was too distracted to notice how long I was gone. I couldn’t depend on him coming to rescue me. One thing I was sure of, I had to at least get my head out of the heat as I was feeling very faint and the thought of fainting in the slick fowl poop with all those creatures piling in on me was nightmarish. Did I mention that I was, as usual, wearing a skirt? Who cares, I thought. It was so terribly hot! I dropped to my knees and arched my back so I could get my head down lower than my behind. I stuck my head through the hole into that blessed 95-degree outside air. The chickens got so excited they ran to welcome me, so I had to stick my arm out to protect my face. Now, you may wonder how long a 66-year-old woman can stay in that position. I was holding myself up with one arm while the other arm was waving off kisses from ducks. One knee was holding me while the other leg was kicking off chickens that were investigating my legs, which were, of course, still inside the hen house. I lasted about 30 long seconds before I went down on my belly, slick poop and all. Now the chickens inside the house jumped on my back, and those outside fought for rights to be closest to my head. Desperate times call for quick action. I managed to get my other arm out the small opening. Wiggling like a worm, I got my top half out but my hips were too wide to squeeze through. I have to admit, it was the giant ducks staring down at me that were the last straw. I panicked but panic is good because it unlocked a secret super-hero strength I didn’t realize that I had. It was like my brain took on a whole new dimension as I suddenly knew things I never knew. I KNEW that tiny chicken door was taller than it was wide, so I flipped over on my side because my hips needed the extra 2 inches of space. Crawling on your side is not easy, especially if you’re old, sick, and have fowl both inside the house pecking your bare legs and outside pecking your ears. The slick poop was now used to my advantage as I slid myself free and down the chicken ramp. All the chickens that had been stuck in the house due to me taking up their door rushed out while I was still on all fours but I WAS FREE.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Tawreos

    Does anyone else find it odd that when she gets stuck the knowledge comes from inside of her and not from her husband or her god? It almost sounds like she doesn’t need either of those two to accomplish things in life and fend for herself. I am sure she doesn’t see it that way though.
    I wish she had shared pictures, because I think it would do us all good to see someone that so often spreads toxic ideas literally covered in chicken poop.

  • Tailored

    What the hell was she doing out there if she was feverish? If I have a fever, my husband takes over my normal chores and lets me rest.

  • Aloha

    You wanna ask Mikey for help? Probably she’s tried that before and learned from her error.
    Also, their whole philosophy in life is to embrace suffering … no mercy!

  • thatotherjean

    God’s representative on Earth, or at least in their marriage, Michael Pearl, was off doing his own thing, and had no time to take over for a sick wife. She does everything that needs doing, and he does the rest–but he gets the credit, because he’s the husband. It’s God’s way, apparently.

  • Iain Lovejoy

    It says in the actual article that husband Mike was in the kitchen finishing the cooking. Is that allowed under the rules: I thought that was “women’s work”?

  • Tailored

    And they think this is supposed to look like an attractive dynamic to anyone but an abuser?

  • thatotherjean

    People do read their books and their website and try to do what they say. How their advice helps a marriage, I can’t imagine. Debi Pearl sounds to me more like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome than a happy wife.

  • Lucy

    I think he cares only about doing the work he feels like doing and making his wife do the rest.

  • Jennny

    I know Pearl is cruel to animals, I imagine his hens living in filth and squalor so hope Debi doesn’t get Salmonella poisoning…I mean does she even have hot water – or soap – to clean up with!

  • bekabot

    One does not like to belabor the obvious, but there’s an undertone of ‘lemme out’ to this which comes through so clearly that it’s not really even an undertone any longer. Just saying.

  • Iain Lovejoy

    This is entirely possible, but who knows. I am not 100% sure what Michael Pearl actually does.

  • Samantha Vimes

    If she had a career instead of a lifetime of servitude to an inconsiderate man, she could have taken a sick day, and would be only a year away from retirement. Instead, she’s going to keep doing this kind of thing for as long as she lasts.

  • Saraquill

    This is the same man who did nothing when she incurred a head injury during their honeymoon, and made her go begging in order to pay for surgery.

  • Nea

    Well, we know that there are bathrooms in the Pearl compound because Debi thinks it’s funny to pound on the door and scream whenever a woman goes in and shuts the door. Pictures have been posted.

  • Nea

    She’s had a “lemme out” tone since she described her own honeymoon. I’m surprised at how hard both Pearls bang on about how “divine” their marriage is, considering that all their writings for each other describe contempt and disgust.

  • Nea

    Is it “knowledge that comes from inside her” and “things she never knew” when what she’s actually describing is “I just realized the door is taller than it is wide” – a simple, basic, presumably daily observation.

  • Tailored

    Ugh, I’d have been filing divorce papers asap! I can’t believe they hold themselves up as a paragon of great marriage. It makes me nauseous to think about how he treats her.

  • Jennny

    Oh wow, I’ve heard of 1 yr olds doing that when mum tries to use the loo alone, separation anxiety phase and all that but not anyone older than that. Really? Was it a proper bathroom or a bucket in the corner?

  • Nea

    All I know was the photo was of your basic house door and Debi was smacking it with a huge grin on her face. The article mentioned that she never does this to men, but adding it in with her supposedly funny story about shrieking when Mikey was throwing the trash out, she apparently finds creating distraction, noise, and nuisance to be hilariously funny.

    Considering the huge production Mikey puts on whenever she wants to talk to him about something, I wonder if it’s some form of defense mechanism she’s developed simply to ensure that people notice that she’s there, hiding under the worn costume of “It’s just a joke, don’t you have a sense of humor?”

  • bekabot

    True.

  • Gem

    It says in the actual article that husband Mike was in the kitchen finishing the cooking. Is that allowed under the rules: I thought that was “women’s work”?

  • SAO

    Yes, and she’d have health insurance, although she’s now old enough for Medicare, but Medicare requires you to pay a decent percentage of the bills and the Pearls have no money and what they do have isn’t under her control.