Quoting Quiverfull: Michael and Debi Pearl’s Honeymoon

Quoting Quiverfull: Michael and Debi Pearl’s Honeymoon July 25, 2014

bluecrabFrom the first chapter of Created To Need A Help Meet by Michael Pearl. The infamous story everyone keeps referring to…

My immediate goal in marriage was to make up for all those sexually frustrated years—the sooner the better. A friend of mine that married two years before I did had bragged that he was able to ‘know’ his bride five times on their wedding night. He was a puny fellow, so I had no doubt I would beat his brag, but the truth is, three times is all I could muster, and just barely. I quickly realized a single man’s concept of marriage was a bit different than the real thing. After all, it was midnight before we got to our room, and we were up at six headed to the Gulf Coast where we would honeymoon for a few days in a cottage on the beach.

It was a long day’s drive. We arrived at the cottage well after dark. We had brought all the gear for fishing and crabbing, as well as the groceries for her to prepare our meals. That way we could save a lot of money and be able to stay longer in the cabin. We dug all of the gear out of the station wagon and placed it in the cabin. Deb fixed us a big supper, after which I tried to break my record. One time and I was asleep. I woke in the middle of the night and remembered that crabs sometimes run along the beach, so I work Deb and excitedly said, “Let’s go crabbing!”

My new Mrs. complained about me not giving her enough time to find her tennis shoes. They were still packed somewhere and I was raring to go. Anyway I had seen her going barefoot many times. As we scurried along the beach she complained about not having a flashlight. I was using it up ahead to scout the way and chase crabs. I heard her say something about shells hurting her feet. For the next hour or two I ran along the seashore and she dragged along behind carrying my crab sack. I put out some of those little round traps with bait in them and we eventually got about six or eight of the little pinching critters—not enough for a meal.

That was my first time to ever go crabbing and I was having a ball. What more could a fellow ask for?

A cottage on the beach, a hot wife, plenty of crabs…this was living! We made it back to the cottage where we grabbed a couple of hours of sleep before I woke up hungry and had to make love to a woman half asleep. She was willing but not very active.

Afterward she got up and fixed us a fine breakfast. Great cook. Her mother taught her well. She wanted to go back to sleep but I talked her into going out for more crabs. By mid-afternoon we had a sack full of crabs and headed back to the cottage. Wow, was I tired. I told her I would just take a little nap while she prepared supper. I don’t know how long I slept but I awoke to her screeching and jumping about with crabs crawling all over the cabin. The silly girl had left the sack open when she was trying to get the first crab in the huge boiling kettle. I sat up in bed and offered some constructive advice and she had a personality change right there in front of me, and us not yet married 48 hours. Who could have imagined a female could carry on in such a crazy manner? I tried to calm her down but she just stomped off, leaving the French fries turning black in the hot smoking oil and the crabs crawling. I yelled at her retreating form, “I don’t need to hunt crabs; I married one!” Somehow that one remark has hung around our marriage like a ticked-off ghost. It seemed appropriate at the time.

To her credit she did come back and finish cooking. After we ate I was ready for some more sex, but she just wanted to sleep. I had read in a marriage book how women always have excuses, like being sleepy, having a headache, etc. There was a great sense of satisfaction when I was so completely able to change her mind; it wasn’t that difficult. She is wired right. It made me sleepy so I dozed off again. I was just dropping off when I heard the crash. It came from the bathroom. She looked dead l\ying there all twisted up in a weird position half in half out of the shower. The curtain and the rod lay flung out on the floor around her and water was spraying everywhere. It was one scary moment – my new bride dead on our honeymoon. I quickly turned off the water and bent to cradle her in my arms. I gently shook her while examining her injured forehead, which was quickly swelling and turning blue, “What’s wrong honey? Are you sick?”

After she opened her eyes it took her a minute to focus and then her expression changed. It was a mixture of pity and anger, although her voice was like a deep sigh as she whispered, “You really don’t know do you?” Man, it sounded like she was accusing me or something! Since she was hurt I let her have her say and boy, she laid it on.

She sat up, pulling herself away from me, turning where she could look me square in the face. The gist of what she said was something along these lines: “In the last 48 hours I haven’t slept more than two hours undisturbed. My feet have 20 or more tiny holes in them because you wouldn’t let me take an extra five minutes to unpack my tennis shoes. My shoulder is sore from trying to carry thirty pounds of crabs for hours (they didn’t weight that much.) My hand is burned from trying to stuff a fighting crab into a kettle of boiling water, which seems very much like torturing the poor thing, AND, all the while you lay in a state of repose. Due to lack of sleep and sun, my eyes feel like they are full of sand. I have had little to eat. I am female, for crying out loud. I just want to sleep without you pawing on me. Besides, I have body parts I didn’t even know existed until now and they are killing me….so what is wrong with me??? I’m the weaker vessel, remember? It’s in the Bible, chapter one, verse one….or somewhere.”

Strange creatures, these females. My brother never acted like that when we traveled together holding evangelistic services. “Well, she will get adjusted.” I thought.

 

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders or their followers/enforcers and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

Comments open below

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • elanoreirlys

    When I first read this, I thought I was reading a horror story. My heart goes out to Debi because she grew up and still believes this kind of behaviour is right. The fact she teaches this kind of attitude and behaviour to other girls and women, makes me pull my feelings back and seriously question why no one in Debi’s life has told her she has been (in my opinion, after reading this section by Michael) sexually abused. Michaels behaviour is so chilling and creepy and sadistic I’m stunned people believe the crap he spews.

    If I ever met Michael Pearl, I’d have a few words (and actions) for him.

  • elanoreirlys

    Also, the shower scene– is that Debi trying to take her life? Is that what’s going on? Because it reads like that so much and Michael seems totally unaffected by it.

  • Nea

    What gets me is that he still negates her pain, all these years later, down to saying that the crabs weren’t that heavy and not even noticing that his idea of sex has nothing to do with her at all, but “beating” another man and then his own “record.”

  • Nea

    Oh, he’s affected. It would totally ruin his vacation if his cooking sexbot self destructed.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    He’s lucky he didn’t marry me. I would have put a few of those crabs under the bedclothes with him while he was snoozing..

  • chromesthesia

    Ugh >< I'd rather cover myself in honey, sit nekkid on an ant hill where there's army ants that eat you down to your skeleton than EVER marry a man like that. UGH! i would sic my spiders at him.

  • chromesthesia

    Crabs in his UNDERWEAR.

  • Astrin Ymris

    It’s a pity Debi didn’t stay in touch with her own righteous anger, and divorce that sadistic creep immediately.

  • Astrin Ymris

    I think she fell in the shower and hit her head, causing the bruise on her forehead Michael described and a brief period of unconsciousness. IOW, a Grade II concussion. I’m afraid to ask if Michael got Debi medical care for this dangerous head injury, but somehow I’m guessing not.

    It seems likely that the severe pain she was in from the rapes and/or her lacerated feet impaired her movements, and precipitated the fall.

  • D. D. Syrdal

    This is horrifying. She’s nothing but a prize to him, a thing to be used as he sees fit. I’d like to run this guy over, then back up and do it again.

  • I…need a shower. Hugely. After the reading this. A hot shower, preferably with a brillo pad, because I feel so sullied.

  • Her mistake was returning after running away from the crabs. If I were heading on a honeymoon and was told to cook, the word ‘annulment’ comes to mind. Was she so determined to be married that she didn’t realize what a total jerk he was? The woman is a walking advertisement for Stockholm Syndrome.

  • Laura Turner

    If this recounting is true, this guy is an absolute pig of a human being. I hope to God he is not serious and this is a narrative by a character in some kind of dark comedy. If this is true, Michael Pearl is narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopathic, childish, coarse– the list could go on and on. From watching some of his videos on Youtube, I have a feeling this is true Pearl, and [wince] I think I know this personality, but on a milder scale [head bang].

  • Nea

    He’s completely and utterly serious. Especially about the part where he’s clueless about how she feels and has zero grasp that his sex life shouldn’t be about competing with other men.

  • Nea

    Remember that she desired him from the age of 13. That for years she has been convinced that God would give him to her.

    Remember also that this story has happened after her story of asking him on their wedding night if they could afford some ground beef and he treated her like she suddenly spoke Urdu or grew a second head.

    She wanted him, she didn’t care what it took… and then she got him and realized how bad a bargain it was.

  • Nea

    Apparently right now Debi is in desperate need of neck surgery but somehow the successful author of all those books doesn’t have enough money to get it for her.

    If the women in the Pearl family can’t fix it with herbal tea, it doesn’t get fixed, period.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I took this straight off the Amazon posting of the first chapter of his book. It’s his words. Google the book on Amazon and you’ll see this is his description of his honeymoon. To give him credit he did say in the next paragraph that it make him realize that women needed to be treated differently than his brother or other guys.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    I’m not all that convinced that Debi hasn’t spent however many long, torturous, wretched years she’s been married to Michael having to lie to herself daily about her experience being the way a marriage is intended to be. Her behaviors, her attitudes – it all seems a lot like she’s working hard to keep believing that is how it should be, because if she stops for just a minute she may want to jump off the nearest cliff.

    Besides, she seems like the type to believe that once a person makes a decision like getting married (to someone like Michael no less) they’ve made their bed and now must lie in it. Forever. Until one of them dies. Or both. The kids could finally get revenge after all…those ramshackle sheds/houses never seem to have adequate ventilation (carbon monoxide anyone?)!

  • Saraquill

    What he describes isn’t marriage so much as breaking in/training the new slave.

  • Saraquill

    I’d like to help you.

  • Angie Nixon

    That which disturbs me the most is her allowing this to be her reality. It’s not like this entire dynamic was only experienced on their honeymoon. And the children… the children…

  • paintinggeorgia

    I think that the social pressure on Debi helped to keep her bound. In order to cope with such an unfeeling uncaring partner(pun) she had to twist herself into the box of submission at all costs no matter what. I grew up in a family that was strong and atheists with 3 sisters. 4 girls total. I became a mainstream Christian when my 2 children were very little. I was in a Bible study with a woman who fell into the evangelical quiverfull movement. When my marriage became physically abusive she tried to convince me that even if I was killed, God would honor my right decision to sacrifice my life for Him. Thankfully my family and my minister helped me get the heck out of there.

    My point is without my strong support would I have enfolded myself into such a philosophy as Quiverfull to cope with the terror of my marriage? If all my support came from such a place I really don’t know if I could have broken away.

  • Astrin Ymris

    I’m pretty sure Michael didn’t demand that his brother allow him to anally sodomize him whenever Michael wished while they were traveling together “holding evangelistic services”.

    Also, I’m certain that Michael did his share of the cooking and cleaning on these trips, rather than lounge around expecting to be waited on hand and foot by his brother. Not to mention that I have a hunch that if his brother wanted time to put on his sneakers before going crabbing, Michael would have waited for him to do so or headed out alone. And he would have carried his own damn crab bag.

    IOW, the problem WASN’T that he treated Debi like he would another guy, it was that he didn’t treat her with the respect or simple human decency he would have granted another man.

  • Nightshade

    It is a pity. Her life-and the live of those affected by books like this-could have been so much different.

  • KarenH

    I suspect crabs in Michael’s underwear is nothing new.

  • Nea

    Could be; I’m not following it closely. All I really know are these points:
    1) Debi has some chronic neck problem
    2) Which cannot be treated by herbs and alternative medicine
    3) Although Michael brags about the money rolling in, he says Debi “refused” to “take the money for herself.”
    4) And although he is the leader who is supposed to,take care of his wife, he couldn’t be arsed to dip into profits and order her to take care of herself.

    Either they’re lying about the money or they’re rolling in it and he doesn’t think his own wife is worth healing. Either way, sucks to be Debi.

  • Nea

    ETA: When you read Debi’s description of the ages 13-marriage, you can clearly see the red flags she was too smitten to notice.

  • Nea

    All the upvotes!

  • Nea

    Precisely.

  • Nea

    At least one of the children is reliving every bit of that hell in her marriage. Her husband won’t work, so she’s feeding a growing family on donations and still calling him “lord.”

    This may or may not be the same Pearl girl whose new husband spit chewed cake in her face and hair at the reception. Which all the men, presumably including Mike, found *hilarious*.

  • Astrin Ymris

    He’ll order her to go crabbing barefoot in the middle of the night, but not to get necessary medical care?

    What a creep.

  • L’Anne

    Required Cleveland line: That’s nasty.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBjj-wKuP1M

  • L’Anne

    WHAT??? I never heard that gem of a story. Someone spit cake of his wife? WTF is wrong with this family?

  • L’Anne

    The crabs weren’t that heavy. Asshat, it doesn’t really matter how heavy the crabs were. You’ve missed the point and are a failure as a human. Thanks for setting humanity back a few dozen centuries, you uncaring, entitled, lazy rapist. Now lean in, so I can give you this crab to kiss.

  • Nea

    By their own words, that is PRECISELY the situation. Debi’s pain meant nothing to Michael and still means nothing to Michael.

  • Nea

    I don’t know which daughter it was because I can’t bear reading their website, but yes. That’s what happened. Apparently it’s told as a moral story about how you don’t care if a cheap wedding gown gets ruined.

  • gia

    he should have just bought a prostitute and a maid. he doesnt want a wife. he wants a sex slave and a maid

  • Laura Turner

    Suzanne, I apologize, I never intended to insinuate that your reprinting wasn’t accurate. I actually meant Pearl’s recounting of his honeymoon. I just wondered, hoped, that he was making some of this up for effect or sales. It severely pains me that people like Pearl have a following in the Christian community. I escaped the fundie world a few years ago and just in time as my kid came out last year. And if they treat “their women” this poorly…

  • Laura Turner
  • Laura Turner

    The one whose husband doesn’t work so he can read the Bible is Rebekah Pearl Anast: http://debrasrandomthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/03/rebekah-pearl-anast-part-three-life.html

  • Nea

    I know. What I don’t know is who got spit on. According to Free Jinger, it was also Rebekah, who would pretty much be repeating her mother’s marriage from abuse starting the wedding day to grinding poverty and begging for food for the children.

    But according to Why Not Train A Child, it was Shalom who got spit on. They link to her telling it as a “funny” story (note the humor includes all the women being horrified, but all the MEN laughed, so the story is officially funny) — but I just can’t bear to watch that Stockholm Syndrome in action.

  • Melody

    I had many discussions with my father on this: because abuse is not a ground for divorce in the Bible whereas adultery, for instance, is, he didn’t believe a woman was allowed to leave such a marriage. I would be shouting at him as I could not understand this logic. I don’t think he would have felt that way if I was the one trapped in such a marriage, but it made me feel quite unsafe that this pretty mild man would have such nasty ideas.

  • Astrin Ymris

    I have to wonder if Michael would be too sad if Debi died or was finally driven to divorce. After all, it would free him to marry a young, hot wife.

  • Anonyme

    “…and had to make love to a woman half asleep”. Good Lord, that’s THE most disturbing part of this, and that’s saying something. Words fail me.
    Also, “she was willing”? You beastly, wicked cad, she’s not “willing” if she’s not even fully awake!

    “I had read in a marriage book how women always have excuses…There was a great sense of satisfaction
    when I was so completely able to change her mind”

    Change her mind, my ass! Raise your hand if you think he threatened and intimidated her into ‘submission’.

    Is this why Debi shames and scares women? So they can be as miserable as she is? That so-called honeymoon was nothing short of abuse. And the Pearls say pre-marital sex is immoral and damaging…

  • L’Anne

    “Make sure you get a really cheap wedding dress because you never know when a wedding guest is going to take hankering to spitting cake on it. Buy used and save the difference!”

  • Nea

    She’ll never divorce him or she’d’ve done it already.

    If she dies, he gets to both talk about her as a saint AND as the flawed person he magnanimously “sanctified”… AND gets to try to repeat the whole process with a hot young thing.

  • Me, I would’ve waited ’til he (finally) went to sleep, caught a few fresh, live crabs; dumped them into bed with him and then went home to find a good lawyer.

  • Neil Rodger

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh !

  • Independent Thinker

    If you look at the Pearls house they certainly are not poor.

    http://rodriguesfamilyministries.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/100_4296.jpg

  • Nea

    Wow. So he’s seriously, literally, been ignoring Debi’s pain from the day he couldn’t be arsed to give her 5 minutes to put on shoes to the day she collected money by begging because he doesn’t think maintaining her health is worth his time and money.

    Wow. And yet she still calls herself his “queen” and says her marriage is blissful.

    Just… wow.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    “Strange creatures, these females. My brother never acted like that when we traveled together holding evangelistic services. “Well, she will get adjusted.” I thought.”

    But Michael, how many times did you rape your brother while he was trying to sleep? None? I thought not.
    And yes, it was rape Michael. It doesn’t matter if you are married, if she is half asleep, you should not have sex with her. If you have to talk her into it, you should not have sex with her.
    Debi should have shoved those crabs into his underwear and divorced him. If their honeymoon was that bad, most people would be seeing red flags and consider not continuing the rest of the relationship, as it can only get worse.
    Whats worse, he tells it like it is a funny honeymoon story, the sort of things they could look back on and laugh, but no. A funny bad honeymoon story would be things like a cleaner walking in when you were having sex cause you forgot to lock the door, or falling in the pool…not being raped into unconsciousness by a werewolf with creepy eyes.
    This story and the existence of To Train Up A Child is what makes me think Michael Pearl is a sociopath.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Same here. I would rather do anything than sleep with Michael.
    Oooooohhhh spiders? What kind, I have five tarantulas 🙂

  • Astrin Ymris

    Even if he was exaggerating, or inventing part of it for effect (which is possible), the fact that Michael thinks this is a humorous story of a loving but insensitive groom on his honeymoon, rather than a story of multiple rapes and other kinds of domestic abuse says volumes about what kind of man he is.

    I’m glad you got out of that world in time! 🙂

  • driv

    “she’s not “willing” if she’s not even fully awake!”

    I have a minor quibble with this as an absolutist statement because I am of the different opinion that it’s something you can establish consent for a priori in a relationship. I love to be woken up that way, although I know NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME.

    In this case though… they def don’t relate anything of a conversation about it ahead of time. Seems unlikely that one occurred.

  • Doris Stanton

    I am grateful that, after one divorce and many failed relationships later, I am finally my own person with a unique outlook [on male/female relationships.

  • Nea

    Friend of mine told me a story of her mother – her father had hit her one day. So when he went to sleep that night, her mother shaved every hair off the front of his body. When he woke up, she told him that he had three choices:
    1) Kill her on the first punch and go to jail for murder
    2) Hit her, leave her alive, and never dare go to sleep again
    3) Never raise a hand again.

    He apparently went for Door #3.

  • chromesthesia

    I have a wolf spider and a fishing spider, 2 baby tarantulas and 1 adult one.

  • paintinggeorgia

    I like what my then minister said. That abuse was abandonment (and abandonment is a reason) as my husband, through his abuse, abandoned our marriage. But the church I belonged to was a very mainstream church, Presbyterian USA, and not a fundamental Evangelical one. I also liked how he counseled a young couple getting married(I was a wedding planner after divorce) who want the vow to obey put in for the woman. He showed where in the original translation it was never obey but submit for both the man and woman equally.

    To be a head minister in my church one must have a doctorate in theology from an established and accredited university(Princeton is the main goto university for Presbyterians as it was founded by Presbyterians). The extensive education teaches one to dig deeper into actual translations for the original word instead of just surface understanding.

    So with a clear heart I proceeded in divorce and never regretted it, never wavered.

  • paintinggeorgia

    Stockholm syndrome

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I’m with you… it should have happened instead she decided that his abuse of her was ‘normal’

  • Gypsy Rose B

    I get the feeling it was less threatening and intimidation and more whining and begging until she became convinced the only way she’d be able to get back to sleep was if she put out.

    That phrasing he uses, that he “had to make love to a woman half asleep”…ugh. No one HAS to do that. He acts like it is some kind of horrible burden that was put upon HIM. If you let your brand new wife have a good night’s sleep and do some cuddling in the morning you’re way more likely to get lucky and with a truly “willing” spouse.

  • Gypsy Rose B

    Yeah, there is no way to have established that by your honeymoon if you come into marriage completely inexperienced with any kind of intimacy. Her comment about being sore in places she didn’t even know about before their first night together should have tipped him off that this was not the right thing to do. But, he’s Michael Pearl and he does what he wants when he wants.

  • Nightshade

    I agree, pretty much. I know I don’t have a problem if my man wakes me up for some fun, but he knows when not to wake me, and if I don’t want to do it once I’m partly awake all I have to do is say so and go back to sleep. But that’s an established fact of our relationship, that this is okay, not waking me up just so he can get what he wants. He’s a much better person than Mr. Pearl, for which I am very, verrrrrry thankful!

  • Nightshade

    That was a huge issue with my ex, he wanted me to be working and making money, mostly supporting the family myself, but he wanted to be the boss even though he wasn’t doing (what was supposedly) his job as a man. Ummmm, no. You don’t get the benefits without taking on the responsibility IMO.

  • Melody

    Yes, it does help tremendously to have ministers whom have a solid theological education. The leaders of the evangelical church I grew up in applauded themselves on all being laymen… as theology-but really all intellectualism- was suspect and frowned upon.

  • gimpi1

    “Strange creatures, these females. My brother never acted like that when we traveled together holding evangelistic services. “Well, she will get adjusted.” I thought.”

    … and that’s when I shot him, your Honor.

    No jury in the world would convict.

  • gimpi1

    Holy mansions, Batman!

    Here’s a thought, Mr. Pearl. take out a mortgage and get your wife necessary surgery. You know, the way the rest of us have occasionally had to do.

    Here’s another, Mrs. Pearl. This house is yours, too.

  • gimpi1

    I would suggest an earlier mistake, when he didn’t want to wait for her to find her shoes. I would have pulled away, found said shoes, kicked him in the… well, let’s just say that would have been the end of that aspect of this honeymoon from hell, and then ran all the way to an annulment.

  • Nightshade

    Right. If he was so immature and focused on immediate gratification that he couldn’t delay his crab-catching fun for a few minutes while his wife, who he is supposed to love (men are commanded to love their wives after all) searches for a pair of shoes to protect her feet, he was nowhere near mature enough to take on responsibility for a family.

  • gimpi1

    This is one of the problems when you accept the Bible as the source for all morality. Most people would understand that physical abuse is a crime, and worse than adultery. Adultery, though wrong, is not a criminal offense. Your spouse may well leave you, but you won’t be arrested. Beat your spouse, you can go to jail. Physical abuse can also wind up in murder, something that an adulterous spouse can’t cause.

    There are many sources of morality. Some are better than others. A source of morality that permits someone to beat up their spouse isn’t going to be my “go-to” source for moral decision making.

  • gimpi1

    Or even a goldfish. I wouldn’t trust him with my aquarium.

  • Nightshade

    He’d probably be too busy crabbing to bother with feeding the fish.

  • Independent Thinker

    I had to post that picture when I found out the family was using crowd funding to pay for Debi’s surgery. Two people can comfortably live in a house half that size. It’s obvious their priorities are completely out of order. Quoting Suze Orman “People first, then money, then things.”

  • Gypsy Rose B

    This could easily have been a story of redemption. If he had portrayed it as a turning point in their marriage and in his life, where he realized the error of his ways, then it would be a positive story.

  • Jenn

    I am SO not a Pearl fan. But I feel a need to point out that a few sentences after the section quoted here, Michael does say that he finally realized that HE was the one that needed adjusting.

  • Guest

    If my (hypothetical) husband/partner tried to force me into sex after I said I was in pain after the “first time”, he’d go to Dumpsville (

  • Anonyme

    If my (hypothetical) husband/partner tried to force me into sex after I
    said I was in pain after the “first time”, I’d literally disable him long enough to get OUT.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Yet the fact that Michael could behave like this at all on his honeymoon, then relate all this as a “funny story” shows that he hasn’t “adjusted” himself nearly enough.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Awesome 🙂 I have an adult female B. vagans, a sub adult possibly female G. rosea, juvenile male A. geniculata, juvenile female P. parvula, and an unsexed B. smithi spiderling 🙂

  • Jenn

    I definitely agree! If I behaved in that manner I would be SO ashamed, I’d never write about it in a book unless I prefaced it with “for an example of how I behaved horribly…”

  • I did a review of (most of this book) on my blog. And let me tell you, throughout the whole thing, he talks about Debi’s weaknesses, where she lacks, and how he’s fixed her. 🙁

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Aletha, I would love to publish your review of CTNAHM…please let me know if that would be alright..

  • That would be great!

  • elanoreirlys

    I can’t even, anymore.

  • elanoreirlys

    I am very surprised she didn’t leave him right then and there. What a way to start your marriage.

  • Sharon

    I’m aghast that he would actually say that his first “goal’ in marriage is to have a lot of sex, because HE was “sexually frustrated.” Obviously the rest of his description of their honeymoon is horrifying, but to start out by simply not caring about her as a person? Uggghhh.

  • chromesthesia

    OOO Cool! I want more spiders. I just wish true spiders lived longer 🙁 I want a sand spider but they have deadly venom but they’re so cute!

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Are those the ones like in that video of the spider digging itself a hole, lying in it and burying its heard with its front legs? They are cool, its such a shame their venom is dangerous, as they are awesome.
    How long do true spiders live for? Ive never kept true spiders before, just tarantulas and a snake.

  • chromesthesia

    Yes, those are so cute. This guy is selling baby ones and I need one. Sand spiders live for 10 years! Most spiders live for a year or so. Not very long 🙁 The two I just got last week already died. I want to try to find a huge orb weaver and bring it home.

  • B.E. Miller

    Have you seen camel spiders? I’ve seen pictures. They’re really strange looking, for a spider. Sort of like some alien pet left behind by an alien kid mated with a regular spider, and borrowed a few genes from a scorpion.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Its a shame they are such short lived.
    Female tarantulas can live ages, for about 20 years, but the male ones only live a few years.
    We have an orb weaver that has made a web on the outside of my dining room window. I like watching it. I caught a jumping spider this morning, that was in my house, they are really pretty.

  • That would be awesome with me…if readers can stomach it.

  • That sounds great.

  • disqus_lcgocZ8O6h

    think he is a sociopath? I think this is clear that he IS a sociopath! No doubt about it! This is one sick sick sick man!!!

  • Katherine

    No, that is the opposite of a problem. You are blaming God’s word for human error.

  • Katherine

    It is. False equivalency.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Katherine you are quite close to a ban here. You necroed two very old posts, you accused a regular poster and are on the edge of proselytizing. This is a recovery community and we don’t allow such behavior. Please read our comment rules before posting again.

  • Anna nicole

    Yes, he didn’t even care about making it a good experience for his wife.

  • B.E. Miller

    Now I’m hearing a fundamentalist version of “Cell Block Tango” from the musical “Chicago”.

    (oops, just noticed it’s been six years since your comment.) I was just sharing this page with someone who might not have read Debi’s stuff before…