How Not to Resolve Marital Issues?

How Not to Resolve Marital Issues? January 23, 2019

The author keeps ranting about offending feminists at the unquoted beginning of this piece, yet it has nothing to do with feminism. Her own definition of feminism is rather flawed. Image from the meme generator.

Several days ago on one of the many Lori Alexander’s followers links I stumbled across this particular blog – Lazy Mother Musings and this piece where she’s adding to the advice of a pastor on the communications in marriages going through bumpy patches. The pastor’s advice is mostly sensible, the Lazy Mother’s version? Hmm, not so much. Read on.

Kind of laughing that any of Lori’s supporters would call themselves ‘Lazy Mother’ considering the hoopla Lori has made about staying entirely busy.

Her replies to the pastor’s advice are in italics.

Whoa, no! It does not matter if what she’s feeling is correct or wrong. That is not the issue here.  You are entitled to your own feelings no matter what the rude ugly and unChristlike female culture enforcers might say. Hinting that she might just need sex is just so wrong. Sex is usually the last thing on a woman’s mind when she has to have this type of conversation with her husband.

Her translation is just what an immature person might say. Admitting there is something wrong, asking for help and offering a possible solution is a thing that adults do. Mature adults. Anyone that believes all other women are this petty and manipulative is marking themselves as abusive and unsafe to be around.

So let me get this straight. She believes that most problems in marriage are simply wives being unhappy and going to a marriage counselor to solve that problem is wrong? Again, it takes an mature adult to admit there’s a problem and seek a solution. An unhappy wife, justifiable or not, will simply leave one day or explode if an ongoing problem that could be easily dealt with earlier is unresolved.

Communication in marriage is vital. There will be times when miscommunication happens. There will be happy and unhappy times in all marriages, which must be dealt with. It’s much better to go to a uninvolved third party, like a marriage counselor, that to grit your teeth and pretend to be HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! That just a swift recipe for disaster, or at least makes you unhappy enough to throw verbal mud at every other woman in the world.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.
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