Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife didnβt say anything actually. What she did was quote from a book written back in the 90s by P. B. Wilson titled βLiberated Through Submissionβ as the last word on the differences between physical abuse and the verbal kind. By default by what sheβs not said Lori Alexander says that verbal abuse is not real abuse. Either youβre for or against something, so this is pretty clear.
Someone wrote the author asking if verbal abuse is abuse. Her response on how to handle verbal abuse:
I cannot believe on the first day of the advanced year of 2019 I must state the obvious yet again. Verbal abuse is still abuse. Abuse. No one, I repeat, no one has the right to abuse you. Not a spouse, a parent, a sibling, friends or strangers.
The best most effective response to abuse is to safely get away from the abuser. You can forgive them, or pray for them if you feel lead, or not. Itβs entirely up to you. But get away now.
Statistics show that many times verbal abuse spirals into physical abuse. Psychological aggression can manifest as verbal abuse.
Then the author goes on to tell one of those apocryphal tales used in Evangelicalism without any basis in realty. The spouse that stayed and prayed and got the glorious outcome.
The author goes on to babble about Godβs word being good enough to survive verbal assaults. Do you really want to merely survive or to thrive in your life?
You have every right to leave. Iβm not talking divorce, that is your decision, but leaving an abuser is an emotionally healthy response to an abuser, not staying to βchangeβ them, or hoping that God will change them. Wishful thinking that has a trail of dead bodies left behind. Loriβs advice has a literal body count. Following what sheβs promoting here only leads to death.
Learn more about domestic abuse at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
There is nothing in the Bible that indicates that God would want you to stay and be abused.
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