Lori Alexander Says Verbal Abuse Not Real Abuse

Lori Alexander Says Verbal Abuse Not Real Abuse January 1, 2019

Screen cap from a video on YouTube turned into a meme at imgflip.com

Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife didn’t say anything actually. What she did was quote from a book written back in the 90s by P. B. Wilson titled ‘Liberated Through Submission’ as the last word on the differences between physical abuse and the verbal kind. By default by what she’s not said Lori Alexander says that verbal abuse is not real abuse. Either you’re for or against something, so this is pretty clear.

Someone wrote the author asking if verbal abuse is abuse. Her response on how to handle verbal abuse:

I cannot believe on the first day of the advanced year of 2019 I must state the obvious yet again. Verbal abuse is still abuse. Abuse. No one, I repeat, no one has the right to abuse you. Not a spouse, a parent, a sibling, friends or strangers.

The best most effective response to abuse is to safely get away from the abuser. You can forgive them, or pray for them if you feel lead, or not. It’s entirely up to you. But get away now.

Statistics show that many times verbal abuse spirals into physical abuse. Psychological aggression can manifest as verbal abuse.

Then the author goes on to tell one of those apocryphal tales used in Evangelicalism without any basis in realty. The spouse that stayed and prayed and got the glorious outcome.

The author goes on to babble about God’s word being good enough to survive verbal assaults. Do you really want to merely survive or to thrive in your life?

You have every right to leave. I’m not talking divorce, that is your decision, but leaving an abuser is an emotionally healthy response to an abuser, not staying to ‘change’ them, or hoping that God will change them. Wishful thinking that has a trail of dead bodies left behind. Lori’s advice has a literal body count. Following what she’s promoting here only leads to death.

Learn more about domestic abuse at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

There is nothing in the Bible that indicates that God would want you to stay and be abused.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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