Lori Alexander Says Marital Rape Does Not Happen

Lori Alexander Says Marital Rape Does Not Happen

Screen cap from YouTube. Meme made at imgflip.com

I hate having to post about Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife so often. But she has turned into the foremost purveyor of the most ridiculous ideas, toxic tropes and twisted theology that has a body count. Today she spoke at her blog about the issues of consent in marital sexual relations. Lori is not a big fan of consent.

Lately in the chatroom Lori has been on a binge about spousal rape. She thinks women that cry rape in marriage are doing it merely because they didn’t feel like sex, as a revenge thing. A petty piffling punishment against their husbands. Lori claims it only happens in marriages where there is other abuse ongoing at the same time.

Wait a minute there! Rape at its core involves consent. One partner consenting to have sex with the other partner. It does not matter if they are married, living together, a date, a bar pick up or strangers. Consent matters! It’s really the only thing that matters in all of these relationships.

No one, male or female, owes anyone else sex. If you’re married hopefully you’ll want to take care of your partner’s needs more often than not. But you must consent! Consent is the law.

Not according to Lori:

There are more screen caps of ladies attempting to reason with Lori over this issue of consent. The names are blanked out except for Lori’s. Jesus wept.

A few statistics on marital rape from RAINN – Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network

  • Fourteen percent of married women report they were raped by their spouse. This percentage probably underestimates the true prevalence of marital rape. (Russell)
  • Of reporting women, 23 percent reported rape and sexual assault as the only abuse in the marriage. (Russell)
  • As with rapists in general, the marital rapist is not a β€œcrazed sex fiend.” He is generally a man who sees sex as a solution to all marital problems, as well as the source of validation for masculine identity.
  • Marital rape is not always a part of battered women’s syndrome. However, at least half of all battered women are also survivors of marital rape. (Russell)
  • Adult female survivors of marital rape are in a higher percentage bracket to have been sexually molested as children. (Lystad, Frieze, Russell)
  • A national survey found 10 percent of all sexual assault cases reported by women involved a husband or ex-husband attacker. (Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center)
  • Under at least one section of the sexual offense codes (usually those code sections regarding force) marital rape is a crime in all 50 states.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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