It’s one of those six times a year that the Pearls publish their No Greater Joy magazine and we’re treated to the very bad ideas contained inside. Remember last issue and the story titled ‘The Shaft’, written by a priggish teen age boy that could not stop imaging the thigh gap under a girl’s skirt in youth group?

Apparently a group of concerned mothers have written and approached Mike in person to protest that the letter was too descriptive and raunchy. Now they have to cancel their No Greater Joy magazine subscriptions because they cannot expose their pure boys to the unmitigated filth conjured up by Shaft Boy.

So hard to believe that anyone was so offended by that they cannot allow their teens to read about it, a real problem for the boy who wrote in. Instead of Michael suggesting that it might be something their child could use help knowing it’s normal and how to handle it he goes off the deep end of claiming porn is literally everywhere.

When I was 13 years old, if I’d had the opportunity to view pornography I would have done so, and then gone back for more and more. And I was the most spiritually minded, good Christian boy I knew.

Oh, the humblebrag! Saved from porn merely because it did not exist around Michael as a kid. It did exist then, you just had to be much craftier and determined to access it.

In our community, one of the Amish boys got a cell phone and started looking at porn. He shared it freely with the other guys and it created a pandemic that swept through the community. When it was discovered and the parents confiscated his cell phone, he bought another. When they impounded that phone, he went to Walmart and bought ten phones so he would always have a backup. He was now an addict and needed the porn on a daily basis. Some of the families moved away to get their boys out of the circle of influence, but the evil was now within and they couldn’t outrun it.

I just have one question for Michael about his ‘Amish boy’ story. Where, pray tell, is he charging his phone and accessing the internet in a community without a large electrical grid? I know the Amish sometimes have phones and electricity in the barn or outbuildings, but this story is likely as fake as much of the letters the Pearls claim to get.

Michael has told so many wild tales about porn through the years, including one where he claims that someone was pinning up pages from porn magazines in the woods just to pollute his children’s minds.

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