Artisan Bread is a Rebellious Plot?

Artisan Bread is a Rebellious Plot? October 2, 2019

More Doug Wilson from Blog and Mablog on his series on rebellion. Thanks to a sharp eyed reader this morning. Doug is now explaining how he thinks artisan bread is a rebellious plot, and he’s supporting white bread. As if it actually mattered to theology if you eat sourdough or Wonder bread!

This is part of his claims on how rebellion is the thing that drives the marketplace. Instead of realizing as the information on nutrition spreads and people become informed on such issues Doug decides that good bread is some sort of expensive elitist plot.

Actually I think Doug has this very wrong. I remember Roman Meal bread back in the 1960s when my mother started to bring it home instead of white bread. Looking at the history of just that brand it goes back much farther, to the physician Robert Jackson as a whole grain cereal brand before branching out into bread.

Roman Meal is just one of many companies that have been making bread that is not white bread. Great Harvest originally opened in the 70s, first in Connecticut and later moving to Montana.  Google your favorite brand and I’m betting it predates Doug’s claims here.

So if they aren’t mass producing they are some sort of commie plot? I cannot even figure out what he’s the most annoyed it. The fact that the bread costs more? That it’s handmade? It came out of San Fran?

It never dawns on Doug that the reason people buy artisan bread is that it tastes better to them than a loaf of Wonder bread. Sometimes consumers tastes change and if companies don’t keep up with it they lose.

Guessing Doug does not think that celiac is a real disease either, or true wheat allergies. Just shut up and eat that Wonder bread.

Ironically the most obsessed with good bread people I’ve known were at my original Quiverfull church. Bread recipes traded, talk of what Mennonite store had the best whole wheat bread. Read Zsuzsanna Anderson’s blog, or even Lori Alexander’s and you’ll see some talk of healthy breads.

Plus, I am dying to know where Doug is getting his $3 lattes? Was stateside last week and saw none cheaper that about $5 dollars.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • pinkie

    I’ve been in the Moscow co-op a block away from Christ Church downtown. They make their bread in house and offer stuff like Seeduction, round Moscow Sourdough, naan, gluten-free, Farmhouse, rosemary potato, etc. Also known as a liberal hippy hotspot. Hmmm….

  • AFo

    I had no idea that me liking ciabatta bread was really a measure of my moral character, not a matter of personal taste.

  • Melissa

    This was a rude and inappropriate comment of mine. I apologize.

  • Raging Bee

    I cannot even figure out what he’s the most annoyed it…

    It’s the “decline” of something white. That was the FIRST thing he mentioned in the quote you pasted. “Decline of white bread” sounds a lot like all those racist complaints about the alleged decline, erasure, shrinkage or outright genocide of white PEOPLE.

  • Mel

    Man, Doug is in for some rough blowback when all the women CP/QF enforcers realized that he is bashing Ezekiel Bread/ Sourdough/Whole Grain breads that they all praise as being critical to keeping their families healthy……

  • Martin Penwald

    “Wonder Bread”: I wonder why people call that bread.

  • Tawreos

    I used to live near a Wonder Bread factory, and the smell was wonderful.

  • Tawreos

    All the stuff going on in the world and this guy is upset about the bread that people buy. I think the point of his little paragraph is that you kids better stay off of his lawn.

  • Saraquill

    I want to lock him in a room with Lori and Gothard* and see what happens.

    *He’s made a cult of homemade bread made with homemade flour

  • Melissa

    This was a rude and inappropriate comment of mine. I apologize.

  • SAO

    Is Wonder bread even food? It contains: Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Calcium Stearoyl Lactylate, Monoglycerides, Mono- and Diglycerides, Distilled Monoglycerides, Calcium Peroxide, Calcium Iodate, DATEM, Ethoxylated Mono- and Diglycerides, Enzymes,), Monocalcium Phosphate, Yeast Extract, Modified Corn Starch, Sucrose, Soy Lecithin, Ammonium Sulfate, Calcium Sulfate, Calcium Propionate (to Retard2 Spoilage). And note, many of that long list of chemicals was “monoglycerides” implying that there could be many different monoglycerides. It’s worth noting that if you look up these ingredients, you get information like, “This ingredient is necessary when gluten needs to be reinforced because of a non-optimal flour quality.”

    If we’re “rebelling” against anything, it’s not against “consumerism” whatever that is. It’s against food being adulterated with 20+ chemicals. Another example of Wilson conflating “rebellion” with failing to agree with his tastes.

  • lady_black

    I LOVED Roman Meal bread as a kid. I wonder what became of it? I like all kinds of whole-grain breads. I also like sourdough bread. Nothing like a nice hot Reuben on sourdough. Real corned beef, of course. No turkey.
    Wonder bread doesn’t do much for me. It’s kind of bland, tasteless and texture free. There’s nothing added to the sandwich like there would be if it were oat bread, or any whole grain variety.

  • Melissa

    This was a rude and inappropriate comment of mine. I apologize.

  • lady_black

    It is bread. It’s just not very interesting bread.

  • Mimc

    Doug needs more fiber in his life I think. Lol

  • Ann Kah

    I’ve had Roman Meal recently so I think it’s still around. I’m sure I had it back in the fifties. I remember a two-slice sample pack that came as a bonus with our loaf of white bread, and we ate it ever since.

  • Mimc

    Country Hearth Dakota Style 12 grain is my jam personally. It’s at least 29 years old because I’ve been eating it since I was a wee babe2. One of my husband and my firsts arguments was when he wanted to buy worse bread. Lol

  • lady_black

    I don’t see any around here.

  • persephone

    Doug wants what he wants, and he expects that all good people will want exactly what he wants because he is the ne plus ultra of Christians.

    I’m sure Jesus didn’t eat white bread. The bread recipes they’ve recreated from Egypt–and they’ve harvested microbes and made bread from them–is sourdough, because that’s what you dead had for millennia; there was no buying a jar of yeast, or any fridge to keep it in. The recreated bread is supposed to be delicious, surprisingly lighter than expected, a bit sweeter.

  • persephone

    There used to be a Mother’s cookie factory near us.

  • persephone

    I didn’t care much for roman meal bread, but I liked the hot cereal. I do like hot, chewy cereals, so I get steel cut oats. I’m sure Doug would label me a triple heathen for not getting regular, mushy, rolled oats.

  • persephone

    I’m sure the university contributes to that.

  • persephone
  • frostysnowman

    He needs Super Colon Blow2.

  • Mike Panic

    Darn, you beat me to it.

  • Martin Penwald

    I’m French. That thing is closer to sponge than bread from my point of view 🙂

  • Ann Kah

    Google it. It tells you how to make a product request so your local store will stock it.

  • Martin Penwald

    My sponge theory gets reinforced.

  • Clancy

    In the olden days, my mother worked across the street from the Nabisco Oreo bakery.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Oh my that sounds in turns heavenly and hellish!

  • Clancy

    Remember, this was in the days before air conditioning, so office windows were open in the summer.

  • persephone

    I’m celiac. I know several people who have gluten intolerance or wheat allergies. If you figure in those issues, about 7% of the U.S. population can’t eat regular bread.

  • lady_black

    Yep. I love French bread too.

  • Friend

    Grandma sometimes gave us extra slices of Wonder Bread to play with. It worked like Play Doh. I’m sure I could still make little birds out of it.

  • Friend

    No. Sponges are natural.

  • Melissa

    Mrs. Titkemeyer, I know you have “shadow banned” me, and I deserved it. I edited my rude comments as a means of making amends; and I emailed you. Please forgive me.

  • Sassafras

    I’m half Puerto Rican, and Pan Sabaõ is bread. Wonder Bread is swill that I won’t even feed to raccoons raiding my garbage!

  • TheBookOfDavid

    I admire your talent for understatement. Wonder Bread is basically open-cell communion wafer foam.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    He might be chronically constipated, or just need a little spice in his life. Either one suggests the same remedy.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    Not to mention that left coast elites are being monetarily rewarded for leftist liberal values like product and marketing innovation.

  • NikkiofAmystika

    Artisan bread is a failing now? FFS. I attend a Methodist church in southwestern Ohio, and the bread we use for communion services is a torn-up loaf of King’s Hawaiian. I’d love to tell Doug that and watch his head explode.

  • I hope Doug never ever decides to travel to Germany. In rural areas every little village bakery is proud of their own, very special kind of artesan bread. It would make his head explode.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    German bread is some of the best I’ve ever eaten! I still go to one of the two German bakeries here and their breads are even different. Bread is such a basic thing I cannot see why Doug cannot understand everyone has different tastes

  • Raging Bee

    Are you kidding?! White Irish Jesus ate ONLY white bread! The bread at the Last Supper was as white as…as…as the horses’s asse2s in the picture above!

  • zizania

    We lived for 10 years a couple of blocks away from Molson’s brewery. Not a great smell, I’m afraid.

  • Rann

    You may be insulting communion wafers….

  • John Evans

    Well this sounds telling. Some goon asserting that any deviation from the most uniform, generic, insipid, bland option is rebellion. This guy probably thinks tomatoes are too tangy, all non-pastel colours are too bright, and any music you can dance to is of the devil.

  • Is this for real? Because I need it in my life right now!

  • Plain white bread is kind of bland. I mean, it’s not bad but not good, either.

  • And now I’m hungry.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    Anything for a friend, or an enema2.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    I’ll make it up to the host later.

  • Carol Lynn

    They could also have used the yeast leftover from the last day’s batch of ale to raise the bread (the foamy bits called barm). It wasn’t *all* sourdough.

  • Jennifer

    Ah yes, food intolerance and allergies. That don’t stop real Christians; Wilson did an article years ago called “Just Eat It” I think, about eating whatever a host cooks for you and not worrying about diets or other concerns, including body tolerance.

  • smrnda

    Nobody paid more for bread to avoid being a ‘victim of consumerism’ – they paid more for better quality bread. Has he ever been to any nation outside of the USA? Wonderbread would get some side eye in many countries as an inferior ‘bread substitute.’

    There’s also the question of actual nutritional value. You pay more for actual food.

  • John Evans

    I just read more about this Doug Wilson. Holy cow, he’s a total science denier. He doesn’t think allergies are real.

  • I am glad you like our bread.

  • WallofSleep

    Oh no, not white bread! I’ve got some news for you, Dougie Not So Fresh, and it comes straight from your favorite book:

    Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a
    storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it
    during the 390 days you lie on your side.
    – Ezekiel 4:9

    Too much work? Not to worry, someone already has you covered: