Do Not Worry About Giving Kids Attention?

Do Not Worry About Giving Kids Attention? June 16, 2020

Screen cap from YouTube. The interchangeable alien dolls in the vending machine of “Toy Story” as interchangeable as QF daughters

Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies is busy trying to say if you have more children than a bowling league it does not matter if you cannot give them the same type of one on one attention that those with only a few can. Why and how? Because they have older siblings that will give them attention. Nancy loves the idea of sister-mommies.

“I often hear young mothers say that they don’t want too many children because they wouldn’t be able to give each one quality time. This is a fallacy of their own imagination.

If only they could see the great life a baby has in a larger family. I watch my little grandbabies and children. They are the king or queen of the home. They’re not only adored by their parents but doted on from morning until night by older sisters and brothers.

I remember when Breeze (Serene’s daughter) was a baby. Her older sisters played with her all day, dressing her up in all kinds of clothes. She was their “live” baby doll. Wherever she went, they followed! Whatever she did, they laughed! Whatever facial expression she made, they’d say, “Oh, isn’t she so cute?”

Now Breeze is 10 years old and has three younger siblings. She now dotes on two-year-old “Solly” like she was doted on by her older brothers and sisters.

These children are the center of attention. No firstborn, or even second or third-born, could ever receive this constant attention? And the more children in the home, the more attention they receive. Even mother has more time to give attention to her baby because she has more helpers in the home.

What a blessing to be a baby in a big family! And what a joy for the mother!”

So it’s only the baby that gets the lion’s share of attention, is it? I guess if we look at other Quiverfull families that promote what they do on social media, like the Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar family, and those much maligned wanna bes Jill and David Rodrigues this seems to be true. The baby, at least in the Rod family, seems to be the one who looks healthy and normal. Nurie Rodrigues is getting married on July 3rd, a few weeks. Smart money is on Jill announcing another blessing, another pregnancy, at the wedding. Dollars to doughnuts, man..

We have seen so many times in the Quiverfull world that the sister-moms are the ones that end up doing the heavy hauling of motherhood the second momma has a new baby to coo and fuss over. The one before is handed off to a “buddy” and the crappy parenting continues apace.

This is simply not right. Older sisters should have enough freedom to pursue higher education, hobbies, outside interests, sports, or even nothing more than navel gazing daydreaming that teens like to do. Not being thrust into a role they are not prepared for, to be an alternative parent while momma plays with the new baby.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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