Permission to Live
Ms Drama: That was my fart.
Me: You can say “Excuse me”.
Ms Drama: Excuse me!
Ms Action: You can still be a princess though. Even if you fart.
Ms Drama: Yeah. Did you fart too?
Ms Action: Yes. Excuse me!
Ms Action: That little man goes in the dollhouse.
Ms Drama: Should I put him in the bed?
Ms Action: No, put him on the potty, because he has to go lots and lots and lots of pretend poo poo.
Ms Action (shrieking!!): Mom! My coat unzipped again!!!
Me: I’m sorry that happened, we will fix it when we get there.
Ms Action: No! It’s not right! Fix it now!
Me: Honey, sometimes coats don’t work the way they are supposed too. Like, my coat won’t zip at all right now because my belly is so big.
Silence…
Ms Action (Matter-of-factly): That’s because you have a baby in your belly. That’s what wrong with you.
Me: Honey? Where is the Salad bowl?
Silence…
Husband (smiling sheepishly): Um, I think I put it in that food cabinet. You know the one that you cleaned out in a pregnancy hormone induced rampage the other day and told me to never put dishes in there anymore?
Ms Drama: What is a Jelly fish?
Ms Action: A jelly fish is made out of bubble gum.
Ms Drama: Ohhhh, so that the fish can eat them.
Ms Action: No, fish don’t eat Jelly fish.
Silence…
Ms Action: Fish, BIG fish can eat people!
Ms Drama: Yeah, because they have big teeth like me. (chomps her teeth)
Ms Action: But people don’t like that, because teeth can hurt! So they say “no fish! Don’t bite me!”
Me: YOU can have the Thai food, but I’ve been craving French toast for days now, so I’m having that.
Husband: Oh. Is that why you’ve been suggesting French toast for like every meal?
Ms Action: Mom, I’m a “kinkadoo”, do you know that word kinkadoo?
Me: Ummm, you mean a kangaroo?
Ms Action: No, a kinkadoo. Kink a doo.
Me: ??
Ms Drama: Oh no! The kinkadoo is stuck in a beehive!
Me: ??
Ms Drama: But then Diego will tell us to pull pull pull and we will get him out!
(That was when I realized they were talking about a cartoon. If anyone knows what Spanish word sounds like “kinkadoo” let me know!)
Me(crying): This day stinks. The house is messy, the kids won’t stop touching me and the bread for my sandwich won’t work right!
Hubby: Um, maybe you should go take a nap now.
Me (stomping my foot): No! I’m tired of being tired and I’m tired of sleeping!
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