Permission to Live
1.
Ms Action: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!!!
Me: Yes?
Ms Action: I want to hold the baby.
Ms Drama: No! Me wants to hold the Baby!
Me: You can hold him when she’s done.
3 Seconds go by…
Ms Drama: Is it my turn now?
Ms Pooky: No! No! Baby! (Patting her own lap)
2.
During every diaper change for the first week or so…
Ms Drama: (Gasp!) His bum is broken!
Me: No Honey, he is a boy, and boys have different private parts than girls do.
Ms Drama: That is poop on his bum?
Ms Action: No that’s not poop. Boys just have “Peanuts” in their bums.
Me: Um, I think you mean that a boy has a Penis.
Ms Action: Yeah, boys have a “peeeee-nis” on their butts.
3.
Ms Drama: (Patting my belly) Your belly is getting smaller and smaller.
Ms Action: That’s because the baby isn’t in their anymore. He was big and strong and he came out to meet us.
Ms Drama: (Thinking about this) You have another baby in there?
Me: No, there was just our baby, and he came out.
Ms Action: But your belly button is still broken! (Meaning it is still popped out.)
4.
Ms Pooky has always been very attached to nursing before bedtime, and I didn’t have the heart to cut her off. Now with a new supply of milk she is more interested than ever and has even come up with a name for it. We’ll see how this new adventure goes.
Ms Pooky: Um-do. (Her newly minted name for nursing.)
Me: Just a minute.
Ms Pooky: Baby. (Pointing at Baby) Daddy. (Pointing at Daddy)
Me: I can give the baby to Daddy in a minute. Daddy is getting a snack for you guys, don’t you want some strawberries?
Ms Pooky: No! No like that! Ummmm- Doooooo!
5.
Naked Baby Doll: I am the Mommy, and this (little people person) is my baby.
Slightly Larger Naked Baby Doll: I am the Daddy, and this (Boots the Monkey) is my little girl.
Mommy Doll: Well, my baby is poopy. And I can’t change him because I am too short. (To clarify, despite being rather short I cannot remember using this particular excuse to get out of changing a diaper.)
Daddy Doll: OK. My little girl will get a diaper. (The Boots doll dances over happily to acquire the imaginary diaper)
The Daddy changes the diaper with much commentary from everyone involved.
Ms Action farts loudly.
Mommy Doll: Oh dear! I farted. Excuse me!
Daddy Doll: Well, (Not to be outdone!) I pooped. In my pants!
Mommy Doll: (Giggling) You can’t do that, we don’t have diapers big enough for Daddies!
6.
Me: I LOVE being a mom! Things could not be going better with this transition to 4 babies. I’m so happy I shouldn’t even be allowed to write about parenting right now.
Husband: Good for you.
And hour later after Ms Drama shrieked because she wanted 2 cookies, and stuffed her toothbrush into the sink drain where despite my best efforts it has remained stuck. Ms Action through a fit because her pajama’s were inside out and she couldn’t get them on easily. Ms Pooky dropped on the floor and screamed because she wanted a different toothpaste. I left the rest of the bedtime routine to my husband and stomped into the kitchen in tears and began clearing the floor so I could sweep. My husband came in and took over, reminding me not to over-do it
Husband: Are you upset about the floor being messy or the kids acting up?
Me: (Wailing) That was the worst bedtime ever! They don’t even like me!
Husband: (Smiling) What happened to “I shouldn’t even be allowed to write about parenting”?
Me: (Sniff) I’m going to go nurse the baby, at least I have one kid that still likes me.
7.
I will be mostly away from the computer for a few days since my Husband’s family is arriving today for a visit. I am mostly not freaking out, which is good. But my Mother-In- Law is a clean freak who washed her sheets twice during the 4 day period they visited last time, so I am trying to clean up the house, despite myself.
This has been a part of 7 Quick Takes over at Conversion Diary. Hop over there to read more Quick Takes and maybe share some of your own.
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