71 Things I Would Rather Hear than the New Hillsong Album

I get the most interesting responses when I tell people what I do for a living.

“You must play guitar!”

No.

“Do you have your own band?!?”

No.

“Have you heard the new Hillsong album? I just love it.”

Let me stop you right there. Let’s start over with the introductions.

I’m Jonathan. I’m a church music director. And these are all things I’d rather listen to than the new Hillsong album.

71. Elmo, Abby, and Rosita sing “If You’re Happy and You Know It”

70. A Cal Worthington commercial

69. The Beatles in a minor key

68. This worship leader

67. Florence Foster Jenkins singing the “Queen of the Night” aria

66. Howard Cosell calling baseball

65.This 2007 Miss South Carolina hopeful

64. Donald J. Trump sniffling

63. These lovely people

62. Joan Rivers interviewing Fred Rogers

61. Hillsong’s “Oceans” done this way

60. 91-year-old Pete Seeger