Redeeming Sex by Debra Hirsch

3. Hirsch reframes our polarizing discussions of sexuality by pointing out the way all human beings are sexually broken, thus distancing herself from the destructive idea that the LGBT community is specially and distinctly broken.

Hirsch points out, “Just because a heterosexual orientation (in direction) might appear closer to God’s original intent, it’s by no means flawless. In fact, if we were equally honest we can probably say that most male heterosexuals are actually polygamous in orientation; in other words, their ‘natural’ preference is for many sexual partners, not just one, which is clearly not what God would have originally intended. Every human being on the planet is sexually broken. Everyone’s orientation is disoriented. All of us are on a journey toward wholeness; not one of us is excluded” (120).

4. When relating to people, first think of them as image-bearers (made in the image of God) rather than first thinking of them as broken.

Hirsch argues powerfully for a paradigm shift in how we view people (and this applies to more than just our relationships with the LGBT community). When we start with the idea that people are made in the image of God and therefore are valuable, loved by God, beautiful, it changes how we think of them and treat them. It enables us to see people as God sees them, as God sees us! Hirsch says, “When I am focused on what I consider to be someone’s bad behavior, I am less inclined to want to engage him or her” (171). By contrast, “I am less inclined to be fearful and less inclined to judge when I approach the other as a being reflecting God” (172).

5. When someone is angry at us as Christians, stop to consider that there might be a good reason for that anger.

I really resonated with Hirsch’s approach to times when people are angry with Christians. This is one of my most central assumptions in relating to people who might not be Christians: if they have a beef with me or with Christians, they probably have a good reason for that. As a Christian, it’s not my job to yell back; it’s my job to listen, to repent, to love. Hirsch writes, “It’s not hard to hear the LGBT community shouting. They shout loud. And for the most part they are shouting at us because we are not listening” (176). Later, she continues, “The church is being yelled at. There is an enormous reservoir of pain and rejection among members of the LGBT community toward both God and the church. Some of this lies at the root of their collective shouting” (177). Will we as Christians be willing to respond gently, to listen, and to repent? Will we add to the pain that is out there, or will we be agents of reconciliation?

If there is a verse I think of most when it comes to the LGBT community, it is this one: “A bruised reed he will not break,and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (NIV). So often, we as Christians heap more pain on people who are already hurting instead of being instruments of healing and peace. We also use this community as scapegoats for our own sin, focusing on one particular act of sin so obsessively that we don’t have to look at our own lives, our own issues. I like what Tony Campolo has said, “Love the sinner, hate your own sin.”

There is so much more to this wise, loving book. I don’t think my article can do it justice, so I hope you’ll read it too.

Also, look for an interview with Debra Hirsch coming soon.

This post is part of the Patheos Book Club.

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