Sean Lowe
Today, Catherine is heading to New York for a couple of days for New York Fashion Week which means I’ll be left home alone. Because Catherine and I are inseparable, I’m always left confused, lost, and crying in the fetal position each time she leaves me home alone. So I thought this time it might be smart to come up with a list of things to keep my occupied while she’s away.
1) Watch chick flicks. You may be thinking “wait, that doesn’t make sense”. Let me enlighten you, Catherine hates chick flicks and I actually kinda like them sometimes, occasionally, all the time. So I better get my fill while she’s gone. And yes, I turned in my man card years ago.
2) Take up a new hobby. I was thinking now would be a good time to learn Tagalog (language used in The Philippines) so I can better communicate with Catherine’s grandma. I should have it mastered in two days right?
3) Take care of my Christmas shopping. Every year, I do my Christmas shopping right around December 22nd with all the other men in this country. This year will be different.
4) Come up with new jokes. One thing I’ve learned since being married is that my jokes aren’t as funny the hundredth time I tell them to Catherine as they were the first time. She now thinks my jokes are dumb and doesn’t even offer a courtesy laugh. This will be a perfect time for me to work on new material.
5) Eat pizza and cry myself to sleep. I’m crying because I’m alone and scared. I’m eating pizza because it’s really good.
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