Early in your marriage, being locked in a small, private room with your husband might’ve been a dream come true, but times have changed. How can you keep your marriage strong during quarantine?
After years of marriage, being “stuck” with your husband in a small space for days, might not feel like a good thing.
In other words, when you’re in close quarters, his habits and quirks might start getting on your nerves, even if they’re things you’d normally appreciate.
During quarantine, you won’t have access to many of the coping skills you’ve grown used to in managing marital distress, like taking a walk, going out with friends or going for a drive. But you can keep your marriage strong.
It may be harder to manage your emotions.
Worry, boredom, fear, stress frustration and guilt are normal
Worry, boredom, fear, stress, frustration and even guilt are normal reactions during quarantine.
If you have a great relationship, you might enjoy being quarantined. But if you’re already dealing with hard issues, things could get worse.
When you’re in tight quarters, here are marital 7 hacks to reduce conflict and make your marriage stronger:
1. Focus on the good
If you think your husband is lazy and irresponsible, you’ll interpret his actions as lazy and irresponsible and you’ll treat him accordingly. Focus on the things he does right and mention them. He’ll feel like he can make you happy, which will make him happy in return.
2. Use the Rule of 5
Before getting annoyed, use the Rule of Five. Before getting angry, ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in 5 hours, five days, or five years?” If the answer is “no,” maybe it’s better to keep the peace instead of getting upset.
3. Say ‘thank you’
Find reasons to thank him. Thank him for taking out the trash or unloading the dishwasher. A simple “thank you’ makes him feel like he’s made you happy. Make a list of reasons you’re thankful before you go to bed at night.
4. Assume the best
Assumptions create conflict and increase tension. Assumptions stifle intimacy and create misunderstanding. Don’t assign motives to his behavior. In other words, don’t jump to conclusions. Emotions may run high when you’re confined to your house. Before you get angry, take a breath and give him the benefit of the doubt.
5. Touch him
Touch is a powerful method of communication. It breaks down barriers. Hold hands or rub his back as he watches TV. You can initiate intimacy if you want to up your game.
6. Take care of yourself
When you take care of yourself, everyone’s better off. We tend to push ourselves during stressful times taking care of everyone else’s needs. When you’re rested and happy, you feel better and you’re better to the people around you. Do a Bible study, take a nap, a bubble bath or read a book.
7. Give him a pass
Just let it go. He’s going to mess up. He’s going to be rude or forget. He may just do things differently than you would. Instead of criticizing him, let it go. If he’s rude, assume it was unintentional and don’t make a big deal of it.
If you’re looking for ways to improve your marriage during quarantine, email me about a quickie version of Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
Need skills to build intimacy?
- Learn how to radically change your marriage in Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
- Visit my website, like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group.
- Check out my FREE resources and download How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave.
- Apply for private coaching with Sheila.
Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be.
She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.
She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.
In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network. Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.