Chick-fil-A’s Biblical Family of the Day

Chick-fil-A’s Biblical Family of the Day October 8, 2012

Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy: “We support biblical families.”

Today’s Chick-fil-A Biblical Family of the Day: Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the Israelites, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you; for they will surely incline your heart to follow their gods;” Solomon clung to these in love. Among his wives were seven hundred princesses and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart.

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  • aunursa

    There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to sleep with 300 concubines,
    a time to devour a greasy chicken sandwich…

  • Family values.  They aren’t what they used to be . . .
    Also I will here recommend Joseph Heller’s “God Knows”, a novel about the life of King David.

  • pfair143

    Our next family value presented  for your enjoyment will be a chicken patty stamped with the face of Jesus.  Please show your Bible at the order window.

  • Jim Roberts

    From my experience, far too few people know about “God Knows.”

  • christopher_young

    a time to sleep with 300 concubines

    A fairly long time, one would hope. I mean, Gaaahh!

  • Amaryllis

    Today’s obvious poem is obvious:

    King David and King Solomon

    Led merry, merry lives,

    With many, many lady friends

    And many, many wives.

    But when old age crept over them

    With many, many qualms,

    King Solomon wrote the Proverbs

    And King David wrote the Psalms.

    – orig. attributed to James Ball Naylor; exists in many variations.

  • You’d need half a year easily :O (two a day)

  • AnonymousSam

    Darn it, now I’ve got Suzumiya Haruhi no Yūutsu’s God Knows stuck in my head. Great song, but doesn’t make much of a point on Dan Cathy. Other than, y’know, that other cultures exist with completely different values than what he considers traditional, since I’m sure Japan is part of Those People to him and the video above would only cement his opinion of that.

  • Of course, maybe Chick-Fil-A is hoping more polygamists will bring their entire crew of wives, children, cats and kittens to come and eat at their fine establishments? Talk about publicity campaigns.
    Up until now I never noticed both Chick-Fil-A and Jack Chick take rather firm Christian stands, hmmmm… coincidence?

  • caryjamesbond

    There’s a lovely old Irish song called “The Limerick Rake” with a verse that goes:

    “There’s some say I’m foolish, there’s some say I’m wise
    But bein’ fond of the women, I think is no crime
    For the son of King David had one thousand wives
    and his wisdom is highly regarded.”

  • patter

    Eagerly awaiting the family feud between Hamor and Jacob’s clans (Gen 34).   They make the Hatfields and the McCoys look like wusses.

  •  My favorite parts of ‘The Brick Testament’ are when the most blatantly hyperbolic passages are given the ‘literal’ treatment.”

    All hail the One True King of the Isrealites!!!

  • AnonymousSam

    Are you sure those parts were meant to be hyperbolic? Leviticus does have that section in Lev 6 where it asserts that every sin, regardless of depth or circumstances, requires a sacrifice and the fires for said sacrifices must be kept burning throughout every day and night. I have a hard time imagining that they really found enough animals to slaughter and burn up to fuel this process of constant sin redemption.

    To be fair, Leviticus does offer a few alternatives to the sheep that are “supposed” to be used as a sacrifices, if you don’t own enough sheep to spare. There’s also birds and flour, the latter of which may be baked into bread first. Of course, since the priesthood gets to eat an exclusive share of everything that is to be burnt, it seems less reasonable and more protection racket to me.

  • aunursa

    How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
    my love, with your delights!
    Your company logo is that of the cock,
    and your breast meat like clusters of fruit.
    Your graceful chick’n strips are like jewels,
    the work of an unskilled laborer’s hands.

    Your navel is a rounded paper cup
    that never lacks carbonated soda pop.
    Your waist is a slice of cheese
    encircled by tomatoes.

    Your double-breasted patties are like two fawns,
    with a spicy blend of peppers.
    Your nuggets are dipped in pools of barbeque sauce
    by the side-gate that leads to Baskin Robbins.

    Your chocolate milkshake is the tower of Lebanon
    obscured by the waistline.
    Your waffle fries are like royal tapestry;
    the BK King is held captive by them.

  • Would have left quite an unsanitary mess in the middle of town, don’t you think? 

  • AnonymousSam

    Aye. I think it’s less hyperbole and more “it never really happened, but it sounded good at the time and set a precedent for similar activity whenever we feel it needs to be brought up again.” It’s not their fault that the whole messy affair was eventually dispensed with.

  • You would need that special side effect Viagra and its like offer that lasts 4 hours or more. Unless you are Sting, who claims to last as long as six without chemical aid. 

  • Hmmm….cats and kittens anywhere near processed, anonymous looking breaded chicken ‘product’ makes me suspicious…

  • PandaRosa

    Well, I was originally thinking of the St. Ives song, but your version is more interesting.

  • SisterCoyote

    We can’t let men marry men! That’s just not what the Bible tells us! Next thing you know, you’ll have bestiality! Pedophilia! POLYGAMY!!!


  • Lunch Meat

    Your navel is a rounded paper cup

    that never lacks carbonated soda pop.
    Your waist is a slice of cheese
    encircled by tomatoes.

    Blasphemy! God is just like me, therefore he wouldn’t use words like “soda pop.” It’s “coke.”

  • christopher_young

    Unless you are Sting, who claims to last as long as six without chemical aid.

    I saw an interview with Sting in which he hotly denied having claimed that and said the only way he could get close would be if you counted in dinner and a movie and an hour’s begging first.

  • I seem to recall seeing the actual interview on MTV, but allow that I may be an unreliable narrator. It was over twenty years ago and referred to his interest at the time in tantric sex. 

    I might guess that Mr. Sumner might be somewhat embarrassed about a LOT of stuff he did around that time. Like his Feyd-Rautha costume (or lack thereof).