Bruce Jenner’s New Clothes

Then he has plastic breasts fitted into his body.

Then he lets his hair grow out and starts to wear ladies clothes.

He has “facial feminization” surgery.

He shaves or waxes his hairy man legs, hairy man arms and chest.

Then he hires a world class make up artist who brushes and primps and polishes and shines so he looks more glamorous.

Then the hair stylist comes in and fits him with a wig because his hair isn’t quite as luxuriant as they want it to be.

Then he crams his flabby sixty five year old man body into a corset to give him a lady shape and push up his fake breasts.

He tapes up his private parts so they won’t bulge in the tight fitting swim suit.

The photographer puts him in a pose with his hands behind his back because there’s not much you can do to disguise big bony man hands.

Then they put the photographs into a computer and they use photoshop to artificially enhance him even more–trimming here, puffing there, slimming here, toning there…

Then when all this is done everyone exclaims, “How wonderful! At last we can see the real Bruce Jenner!!”

Where’s that little boy?

Postscript: A few commenters have been critical because they regard this post as “cruel to Caitlyn Jenner”. They miss the point. I have no particular feelings towards Mr Jenner and have only sympathy for what must be a complex, bewildering and burdensome personality problem. This post is not really about Mr Jenner. It’s about the media hype, the artificiality of our culture and the mob mentality that says, “This is reality.” It’s not. It’s about as real as the “reality shows” Mr Jenner stars in. The post, therefore, is not so much about Mr Jenner and his problem, but our culture which prizes all that is plastic, so that we think it’s wonderful when a sixty five year old grandfather can be presented as a voluptuous thirty year old woman.

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