Deep Division

The people I know tend to be much more adept at recognizing divisions than at healing them.

We study division and conflict, analyzing tensions and disagreement. We set out to tell the story of how divisions develop, specifying the reasons they happen. We tell ourselves we are being objective, that we are trying to understand.

Knowing a great deal about division is not particularly helpful to us. We already know what creates conflict.

We have a fantasy of what the future could be like that is based in our fears and regrets about the past.

The divisions between us and other people are reflections of the divisions within us.

There are people with whom I do not enjoy working. Some of them are people with whom I disagree or who have demonstrated they are not safe for me to be around. Some of them have habits or qualities that really get on my nerves.

I worked with someone once who was just insufferable. They were insensitive, they took too long to do things they had committed themselves to doing, they did not listen. They, apparently, had very little respect for me. I really did not enjoy working with them. It was particularly easy for me to want to separate myself from them.

As I spent time reflecting on the divisions in our working relationship, I came to see that I was at the heart of the conflict. The division was not so much about their actions as it was about how I responded to them.

Each of us experiences the world from our own perspective. Healing divisions begins with finding new perspective, with healing the divisions within ourselves.

[Image by Nina Matthews]