The Turmoil of Spiritual Life
A lot of us like to think spiritual life is supposed to make us feel more secure and relieve our turmoil.
We may think of spiritual life as a security blanket, a comforter when we need help. I know people who see spiritual life as a fire extinguisher or an escape hatch.
When life becomes too much for us we think we can retreat into spiritual life.
Some people remember spiritual life as a distant memory from childhood. They feel they have outgrown spiritual life, until they find themselves in serious trouble.
It is easy for us to experience spiritual life as like ice cream. When we were young and did not feel well someone would give us ice cream to help us feel better.
We assume that is how spiritual life is supposed to work.
When life is hard or does not go according to our plans, we expect spiritual life will comfort us. At times when we are afraid or not feeling well, we think spiritual life will lift our spirits.
We want to be able to turn to spiritual life to resolve the turmoil we face.
Spiritual life is a powerful force which allows us to appreciate deep, sacred truths. It opens our eyes and ears and other senses so we can experience life in its fullness.
Spiritual life often inspires me to continue working when I become discouraged. The spiritual life in an honest community sustains us and teaches us new lessons. Spiritual life is the spark which lights the flame of growth in my heart.
Spiritual life, though, is not a panacea, not a calming breeze to blow away our struggles.
There are times when spiritual life can be the source of our turmoil, not the resolution.
The Inner Turmoils of Spiritual Life
The turmoils of spiritual life can feel more serious than the turmoil it soothes.
We believe we understand what spiritual life calls us to become, what it demands. Our perceptions are shaped by our experiences, the world around us, our own beliefs. Each of those factors helps determine the metaphors we see in spiritual life.
Some of us are drawn into spiritual life seeking comfort and acceptance. Eventually we run into expectations, rules, and requirements.
We may become interested in spiritual life as we seek answers to our deepest questions. As we seek solutions we come to find more and more questions, each more intense than the last.
There are people who enter spiritual life looking for community. As they explore they find the community they are seeking begins within themselves.
It almost seems like spiritual life contradicts itself, or is a little schizophrenic. We feel like spiritual life offers us one thing, then gives us something else. Is spiritual life trying to pull a bait-and-switch?
Many of us want spiritual life to be clear, easy to understand and easy to explain. We do not really want to struggle with it, do not want to need to think about it.
The turmoil of spiritual life arises for us when its complexity becomes apparent.
We may see the turmoils of spiritual life as obstacles, but they are gifts. If spiritual life were as simple as we would like it to be, it would be boring. The benefits we are seeking are important. They are worth the time and effort we put into the struggle for them.
How could spiritual life be simple and easy when we are such complex people?
The turmoil of spiritual life reflects its reality, its practical value in our lives.
The Beautiful Turmoil of Spiritual Life
As we open ourselves to it we begin to glimpse the beauty of the turmoils of spiritual life.
Spiritual life is alive. As much as we try to pin it down or put it in a cage, it is beyond our control.
Spiritual life does not exist to meet our expectations. It is more than we can readily appreciate, more beautiful, more alive, more powerful. Spiritual life is not a domesticated pet which exists to entertain us.
There is a wildness in spiritual life. The wildness feeds the beautiful turmoil it creates within us.
As much as we might seek comfort or security, we are drawn to spiritual life’s wildness.
There are times in our lives when we need rest and restoration. As much as we might need them, we tend to find them boring. I could probably stay in bed for a day or two, if I were sick, but I would be eager to get going. Even if I were to stay in bed, I would be checking my phone constantly.
The turmoils of spiritual life get us to keep paying attention.
Each turmoil carries new lessons for us and gets us to focus and pay attention. The turmoils themselves may not be pleasant experiences, but it helps if we are looking for the lessons.
There are times when the turmoils of spiritual life are so powerful they can throw us. We do not know what to do when our expectations and assumptions get overturned. It is helpful to talk through our experiences with someone who listens peacefully without judging us.
We cannot control spiritual life. As we grow, we can learn to live with its rhythms and turmoils.
The Powerful Turmoils of Spiritual Life
Spiritual life shows us its lessons through its turmoils. We often learn the lessons we remember best through turmoil.
The turmoils of spiritual life are not powerful because they toss us around or are beyond our control. Their power is not in their destructive force.
The turmoils of spiritual life shape us and how we live into spiritual life. They wear away the expectations and preconceived notions we bring to spiritual life. There are turmoils which strip off our demands for comfort and security.
As those extraneous bits are cleared away, our true selves have room to emerge.
How does the turmoil of spiritual life strengthen us?
What turmoil of spiritual life are we experiencing this week?
[Image by marcusrg]
Greg Richardson is a spiritual director in Southern California. He is a recovering assistant district attorney and associate university professor and is a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is http://StrategicMonk.com and his email address is StrategicMonk@gmail.com.
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