January 21, 2019

Dear Terry, How can my husband and I break the negative ways we relate to each other? There’s a lot of advice out there about being more positive with each other but not much about stopping negative interactions. We are at our wit’s end and considering divorce after 15 years of marriage. But we want to stop bickering and have a happier marriage so we can raise our two daughters in a peaceful home. Please help me if you can!… Read more

January 18, 2019

Establishing and maintaining trust with your partner can be a huge challenge if you’re prone towards jealous feelings. There are many reasons why you might experience jealousy including past betrayals, insecurity, and fear of losing love. The first step in overcoming jealousy is self-awareness. These feelings won’t magically disappear and they can spell disaster for your intimate relationship. Jealousy is the polar opposite of trusting someone. Taking ownership of your jealous feelings will allow you to face them head on… Read more

January 15, 2019

Different from a biological parent, a major thrust of being a stepparent is to be a friend to your stepchildren on some level. Not like a school friend, but an adult friend more akin to being a guidance counselor or mentor who is also a parental figure.   Most of the stepparents who contact me for support tell me they had no idea what they were getting into. One stepdad, Steve, put it this way, “I was never a father… Read more

January 10, 2019

Since divorce runs in my family, I’ve always searched for ways to break the cycle. Many researchers such a Paul Amato have documented that there are generational aspects to divorce and that if you are a child of divorce it doubles your risk of repeating this pattern. However, adult children of divorce (ACOD’S) are not doomed to repeat the past and can take measures to reduce their risk such as selecting a partner to marry who compliments them and getting… Read more

January 7, 2019

There is recent evidence that happy, lasting relationships rely on a lot more than a marriage certificate and that the secret ingredient is friendship. Look for qualities you admire in your partner and remind yourself of these admirable qualities regularly. When it comes to matters of the heart, where admiration and respect are found, love will be sustained. But where these things are absent, love will die.  Finding a partner who likes and respects you as much as you do… Read more

January 3, 2019

There are a lot of feelings and emotions that come with divorce – anger, betrayal, despair, guilt, rejection, uselessness, fear, elation – and they all go with the territory. You may feel confused as you establish your new identity and move on to develop new relationships. It’s normal to desire new intimate partners and to experiment with dating – but be prepared to feel mistrustful and insecure at times. The experience of going through a divorce can change your perceptions;… Read more

January 1, 2019

When you become a parent, the demands of juggling time with your kids, work, and spending quality time with your partner can be a challenge. In addition, most parents of young children are sleep deprived, so it’s natural for intimacy and romance to decline. While it’s expected that both sexual and emotional intimacy will die down after kids arrive on the scene, if you make your relationship a priority, it doesn’t have to take a huge dip. Here are 5 ways to… Read more

December 28, 2018

Mistrust can come in many forms, from suspecting your partner of infidelity, to fearing that he or she will abandon you emotionally or physically. Some people who have trust issues become “relationship junkies” looking for partners to be the salve for their wounds. Others freeze out the option of finding love, for fear of being hurt. Even if you find yourself in a reasonably healthy relationship, you may still be unable to trust your partner. Sometimes, he or is simply… Read more

December 24, 2018

Dear Terry, My husband recently moved out and left me for another woman. This person is someone he worked with that I thought I could trust and it left me feeling betrayed and devastated. I’m not taking good care of myself lately, stopped going to the gym, and I’m not eating regular meals. It feels like I’m just trying to survive the breakup. I have two children, ages 8 and 10 and my husband didn’t even say goodbye to his… Read more

December 19, 2018

Expect plenty of storms in remarried life. The complications of a newly created stepfamily or blended family can be daunting and it can take years for the family “norms” to take hold. Conflict and rivalries between family members – especially stepparents and stepchildren – can make day to day life stressful and chaotic at times. Most experts agree that it can take a remarried family up to four years to reach a state of equilibrium. For instance, Justin and Maggie… Read more

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