February 23, 2019

For some couples, a separation may be a reasonable alternative to divorce if both partners are willing to work on themselves.  A planned marital separation can sometimes save a marriage. According to author Tinatin Japaeridze, what some refer to as one’s “need for space from a partner” is a legitimate cry for just that – space. She posits that both men and women sometimes need quiet time to find what’s vital to their relationship. Based on my counseling experience, marital… Read more

February 18, 2019

What can you do to improve your marriage or relationship when you feel that it’s heading for divorce or breakup?  While this is a common problem, the solutions are far from ordinary. The good news is that you’re in a good position to turn around your relationship since it’s usually the person who seeks advice that’s motivated to set change in motion. The number one thing that seems to be breaking up many couples is difficulty bouncing back from a… Read more

February 15, 2019

  After my divorce, my two children (now grown) spend close to equal time with both myself and their father. During a nine year period, they experienced many transitions including a new stepfather, stepmother, and the birth of their sister, who is now twenty years old. My experience with shared parenting was positive because I observed my children maintain a close bond with both me and my ex and grow into successful adults.  My research shows that adults raised in… Read more

February 11, 2019

It takes two special parents to navigate a successful co-parenting arrangement over time. Interacting with each other at drop-offs, making shared decisions, or even speaking to an ex who you’d rather forget can be a challenge. Often divorced parents have a lot of unresolved anger after their breakup which can make moving forward smoothly problematic for their children.   What is the solution for divorced parents’ who want to do what’s in the best interest of their children when they… Read more

February 8, 2019

Dear Terry, I’ve been feeling very concerned about my ability to keep a relationship going for long. They usually end badly and I’m wondering if my trust issues play a part. My parent’s divorced when I was eight years old and they never remarried so I guess I worry I’ll follow in their footsteps. I  seem to sabotage my own happiness by finding fault in my boyfriends. For example, when I’m arguing with Jonathan, I blow small things out of… Read more

February 5, 2019

During our sessions, Sarah and Jeff both reflected on their own difficulties with being vulnerable and how it prevented them from being close at times. I explained to them that before they can begin to build a long-term successful relationship, they must be vulnerable and learn to rely on each other – which means letting go of the belief that they must handle lives problems alone.   Being vulnerable means being authentic and being able to risk expressing your thoughts,… Read more

February 1, 2019

Co-parenting, at its best, is a wonderful opportunity for children of divorce to have close to equal access to both parents – to feel it is okay to love both of their parents.  Dr. Joan Kelly, a renowned psychologist reminds us that the outcomes for children of divorce improve when they have positive bonds with both parents. These include better psychological and behavioral adjustment, and enhanced academic performance. However, few experts discuss the drawbacks of co-parenting when parents don’t get… Read more

January 30, 2019

Too many of us settle for less than we deserve because we are afraid of being alone. If this is your tendency, gently remind yourself that you are a worthwhile person regardless of whether or not you are in a romantic relationship. In my Huffington Post blog “7 Reasons Why It May Be a Good Idea To Stay Single” I write: “Very few people know how to be alone and do it well. They aren’t happy to be alone. They fear it… Read more

January 26, 2019

If you are questioning whether you are enmeshed in an emotional affair, it’s important to define what they are. First and foremost, an emotional affair is characterized by an intimate connection with someone who isn’t your partner but the person takes on many of the functions of a partner. For instance, you spend a lot of time with him or her, you confide in them, and you look to them for solace and support. It’s key to acknowledge that in… Read more

January 21, 2019

Dear Terry, How can my husband and I break the negative ways we relate to each other? There’s a lot of advice out there about being more positive with each other but not much about stopping negative interactions. We are at our wit’s end and considering divorce after 15 years of marriage. But we want to stop bickering and have a happier marriage so we can raise our two daughters in a peaceful home. Please help me if you can!… Read more

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