6 Signs You Have a Solid Friendship with Your Partner

6 Signs You Have a Solid Friendship with Your Partner January 7, 2019

There is recent evidence that happy, lasting relationships rely on a lot more than a marriage certificate and that the secret ingredient is friendship. Look for qualities you admire in your partner and remind yourself of these admirable qualities regularly.

When it comes to matters of the heart, where admiration and respect are found, love will be sustained. But where these things are absent, love will die.  Finding a partner who likes and respects you as much as you do him or her will give you the best chance of finding lasting love.

Here are 6 signs that you have a solid friendship with your partner:

  • You admire your partner for who he or she is as a person. You like and respect who they are and how they carry themselves through the world. If you can’t respect the way a person lives their life, let alone admire them, it’s hard to keep any relationship going.
  • Your partner is trustworthy. He or she calls when they say they will and follows through on promises. It’s impossible to build trust in someone who does not keep their agreements.
  • Your partner makes time for you on a regular basis. He/she makes you a priority because they value your relationship. Even when he/she is swamped, they stay in touch. This includes regular communication to show they’re thinking of you.
  • Your partner accepts you for who you are, doesn’t try to change you, and accepts responsibility for their actions. Life is messy at times. While it’s natural to assign blame when things go wrong, in a healthy relationship partners take responsibility for things they do to hurt each other, apologize, and make amends.
  • Your partner is your cheerleader and listens to you. He or she listens more than they speak. Your partner asks you questions about your hobbies, friends, and family. He/she doesn’t make you feel badly for being in a bad mood or having a tough day.
  • Your partner talks about your future together so you can create a shared vision of your relationship. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t include you in his or her future plans. Author Howard J. Markman Ph.D. writes: “Couples can choose to protect their relationship by setting aside time to enjoy each other, renewing their sense of closeness and togetherness.”

I have often heard it said that the best partner will compliment you and bring out your finer qualities. When you are with him or her, you will begin to see untapped possibilities within yourself and in the world. However, in any relationship, you will face difficulties and your love will be tested.

That said, if your expectations are for an effortless relationship, you might be at risk for throwing in the towel at the earliest sign of any discord. Think of how many good relationships have been discarded before they matured, dismissing a life partner while searching for a soul mate.

The idea of a soul mate is romantic but also damaging because healthy relationships are developed and don’t just appear. Author Lisa Arends explains: “A fulfilling relationship occurs when both partners are open and vulnerable, creating an environment of mutual understanding, and intimacy. It takes time – often lots of time – and effort to reach this point.”

Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website.

I’d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question here. Thanks! Terry 

 


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