Weary of watching men pee – UPDATED

I don’t know who it was decided we have to watch men standing at urinals and talking, but I’m tired of it. I cannot think of a program I’ve watched over the past few years, sitcom or drama (I don’t watch gameshows, but I wouldn’t be surprised…) that hasn’t featured men peeing.

The other night I saw a commercial for…a satellite dish, I think it was (clearly, the ad was ineffective) – two men at work, one talking about his promotion, the other talking about his…(cable? dish? ipod? I don’t know) and they were, of course, standing at the urinal as they discussed it.

Whatever that product is, I’m not buying it. Here in NY we actually have a commercial that airs as early as 8:00 PM that is basically a man and woman having sex in a men’s room stall, complete with sound effects and the ever-present urinal. It’s so embarrassing to be watching Law and Order with my son and see it come on. Switching channels is useless, he’s seen it a thousand times by now, and grabbing the remote only makes for drama. We’ve talked about how objectionable, tawdry and uncomfortable the thing is.

Madison Avenue would do better selling things to us, I think, if they managed to do it with a little class. And…(and this is really key) if they could stop making men seem like stupid imbeciles in every single commercial, they’d be doing their sons and daughters a favor down the road.

UPDATE: Ahem.

This post and this one (which Bernard Higgins cleverly refers to as “Urinata in P major”) have spawned emails that say, essentially…

Anchoress do you have PMS?

Anchoress, are you cranky?

Anchoress, have you given up hope?

Answers respectively: no, yes and no.

One need not have PMS to be fed up with men peeing on tv, although I will concede that I’m also sick of watching women in white clothes tell us how secure they are in their tampons and their winged sanitary napkins. I love that they’re always wearing white. So subliminal. I would like all discussion of bodily functions and fluids to be eliminated from television viewing – all mention of diapers, napkins, tampons, condoms, snot, constipation, diarrhea, earwax, underarm sweat, I want all of it, off television, please – except on evening news programs where they are ubiquitious and seem to be necessary. Also, I don’t want to hear about stuffy sinuses, clinical depression or erectile dysfunction. Keep that on the evening news, too, please.

It’s not that I’m uptight or closed-minded. I’m just so freaking bored with it all. Isn’t everyone?

Yes, I’m feeling cranky. Nothing wrong with good case of the cranks once in a while, and we Irish know how to revel in such a day. I know I’m feeling cranky because my sunny, bouyant son, Buster, is sunny and bouyant as ever, practicing his sax on the other side of the house; he is practicing high notes and I want to throw something at him to make it stop. But I am gritting my teeth and moving forward because that’s what a good mom does, and because when I hear my kids practicing their music, I feel very privileged.

All the same, he is very loud. High and loud.

No, now he has stopped. “Can we go pick up that thing I ordered? Can we go now? Can I drive? Can I drive? I’m driving, right? Why are you so cranky? Do you want me to drive? Would you like I buy you candy?”

Yes, I am cranky, but he still cracks me up.

No, I’m not losing hope. I am not despairing. I’m just waiting for what happens next. And grumbling a little, because I can.