A Tale of Two Assault Victims

A Tale of Two Assault Victims September 21, 2018

I’ve been really disturbed by what I’ve been seeing on social media lately regarding victims of sexual assault. I’m concerned about the allegation against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh, and I’m utterly appalled by this tweet by the President (as well as the fact that over 72k people “liked” it as of this writing):

I’m not surprised that a man who has openly bragged about committing sexual assault would make such an ignorant comment. I am angry, and frustrated, because Trump is echoing a statement I’ve seen over and over again within the last week. “Why didn’t she go to the police? Why didn’t her parents report it if she didn’t?” etc.

If you are one of those people who have asked those questions, and if you’re sincerely interested in learning the answer, I beg of you read the following articles. They may help you understand why so many sexual assault victims either don’t report their assaults to the police, or may wait days, months, weeks, years, or even decades to do so.

When a teenage girl reports being raped by Simcha Fisher

What do we owe her now? in the Washington Post

Why Women Can Take Years to Come Forward With Sexual Assault Allegations in the New York Times

I also ask you to consider the following hypothetical scenarios:

A young teen is sexually assaulted at a party. She was underage and had been drinking. Ashamed, humiliated, scared, and depressed, she does not tell her parents. Because she believes the narrative that it was her fault for putting herself in that situation, or that the clothes she was wearing or the behavior she engaged in led her assailants on and justified their behavior, she does not report the incident to police. It’s not a crime, popular culture insists. It’s just boys being boys and engaging in typical male horseplay. Certainly it doesn’t rise to the level of criminal conduct. Instead of reporting it, she shoves the incident and the related trauma to the back of her mind and tries to forget it ever happened.

But the trauma follows her. It affects her career, her relationships, her marriage, and her family. Eventually, she starts going to therapy to try and work through her issues. Around that same time, one of her assailants is rising up the political ladder. She starts hearing his name and seeing his face everywhere, and the traumatic event is brought to the forefront. She works through it in therapy but still isn’t ready, at that point in time, to confront her assailant.

Then, however, her assailant is nominated for a very high political office. His name and face are again plastered across news media. By this point, the victim has come to realize that what happened to her was wrong and did, in fact, rise to the level of criminal conduct. It’s very unlikely her assailant would be convicted of criminal conduct, given the length of time that has passed since the incident and the lack of physical evidence. But she feels obligated to speak up and say that she doesn’t think that person should be appointed to a high political office, given how he had no issues with sexual assault in high school. So, even though she knows that the media will smear her name and threaten her family, and even though she knows the country had no problem whatsoever electing an admitted sexual abuser to the office of the presidency, she speaks up.

Consider, too, the following scenario:

A young teen is sexually assaulted at a party. She was underage and had been drinking. Ashamed, humiliated, scared, and depressed, she does not tell her parents. Because she believes the narrative that it was her fault for putting herself in that situation, or that the clothes she was wearing or the behavior she engaged in led her assailants on and justified their behavior, she does not report the incident to police. It’s not a crime, popular culture insists. It’s just boys being boys and engaging in typical male horseplay. Certainly it doesn’t rise to the level of criminal conduct. Instead of reporting it, she shoves the incident and the related trauma to the back of her mind and tries to forget it ever happened.

But the trauma follows her. It affects her career, her relationships, her marriage, and her family. Eventually, she starts going to therapy to try and work through her issues.

Six years later, a man she went to high school with is nominated for a high political office. Even though she knows he did not assault her, she decides to accuse him of the assault because she’s concerned that there’s a small chance that Roe v Wade might be overturned if he is appointed, despite the fact that this nominee shows no inclination whatsoever to do so, and that merely overturning Roe v Wade won’t make abortion illegal in all fifty states.

Even though she knows that the media will smear her name and threaten her family, and even though she knows the country had no problem whatsoever electing an admitted sexual abuser to the office of the presidency, she decides to go forward with the lie.

So what if her career is destroyed and she’s labeled as a lying whore in the media and her family must go into hiding for months on end? So what if she becomes the target of a defamation lawsuit that could ultimately bankrupt her family? It’s a small price to pay if it means torpedoing this specific nomination on the off chance that the Senate might have a Democratic majority after the midterm elections. She doesn’t mind making herself and her family the sacrificial lamb on the altar of legal abortion.

Which scenario do you think is more likely?

Frankly, I think the first scenario is more likely, which is why there needs to be a thorough investigation into this sexual assault allegation — even if it means delaying the nomination process until after the midterm elections.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • E Hakenson

    Thank you. Kavanaugh will just not get the job. He will not suffer.

  • Mary Michaels

    I don’t believe either of these women. Political hit job.

  • I believe both Christine Ford and Judge Kavenaugh. I can easily believe a boy of 17 getting so drunk he does not remember such an assault. I can easily believe a young woman getting so drunk that she invented an assault that didn’t happen. Both years later will say exactly what they’ve been saying. Of course, none of the other four people Christine Ford remembers this, but they don’t need to, she did.

    I do not believe Deborah Ramirez. Nobody else in the dorm supports her story. Her story doesn’t seem credible to me. Not to mention the fact, that unless you were a millionaire, cell phones didn’t exist in 1983.

  • Rod Coffey

    Wrong his current job on the appellate court is clearly in danger as is his reputation for any future work

  • Rod Coffey

    We simply can’t go here. NONE of us knows for sure how credible Ford might be but it doesn’t look good for her. NO ONE substantiates any part of her claim Ramirez is even more dubious. The sleazy way in which this has come about is very dirty politics and must stop,

  • onlein

    Kavanaugh’s Yale freshman year room mate said that Kavanaugh did drink to excess and when he did he became an obnoxious, angry, very self centered and demanding person and that he went to many drinking parties. The room mate believes Rameriz. And there are similar reports from other classmates–and from coworkers with Kavanaugh when they worked for a judge who was notoriously sexually abusive of women. And reports that Kavanaugh favored a certain look in female interns working under him.

    Other shoes are dropping. He is not squeaky clean. And it is not just age 17 we are talking about. We should take some time to sort this out. Legal matters should not be rushed. The evidence should be weighed. If a person cannot stand up to a deliberative process, to some degree of judgement, even facing accusers, they should not be a judge.

  • anthony46

    Someone who will not testify under oath is not credible at all

  • Helfyre

    Sorry no sale.Just not credible.4 decades is too long.The other named witnesses all deny it happened.There is no way of knowing absolutely so the accused must get the benefit of being believed.

  • Rod Coffey

    Again no substantiation for what you are saying … based on what I have read you are completely mischaracterizing what the roomate Roche said … read past the initial reports

  • onlein

    I read his whole statement. She cannot be written off so easily. She should be heard too. And now there is another woman from college days. High school behavior may be given a pass. College maybe almost but not entirely. Adult behavior not at all. This has been a year of of men, including priests and judges and comedians and a president, behaving badly in the past and their behavior coming to light. Will it never end?
    Women deserve to be heard and listened to and not summarily dismissed, as they have been like forever. This has to stop.