When we discuss sexual abuse within the church, we usually assume we’re talking about young boys who were sexually abused by priests. There are several other types of victims that don’t get as much attention but have also suffered within our churches. Last year, when #churchtoo started trending on Twitter, I wondered if I was the “right” kind of victim. I’d certainly been victimized within my church, but not in the way people would immediately assume. I was never sexually... Read more
I’ve seen a lot of conversations about gratitude lately. I’m all in favor of gratitude. A lot of people are posting on social media about learning to be grateful for their possessions, and I think that’s great. When we have plenty, we should be grateful. When I say I don’t tend to focus my gratitude on my possessions, some people misunderstand and think I’m being whiny or jealous of people who have more. But that’s ignoring how our experiences shape... Read more
“If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.” –Fred Rogers We shouldn’t hide from the horrors of the world, but when news coverage focuses on nothing but those horrors, we miss out on smaller news stories that feature regular people pushing back against the darkness. Every single person can make a positive impact on the world. Here are a few people who are doing that. Providing a Safe Place Homelessness is a significant problem in the U.S.... Read more
Yesterday, I asked my friends and followers on social media to help me put together a list of women who are: Writers Mothers Dealing with a disability or chronic condition (physical or mental) I’d like to put together a series that highlights these women and their work, and I kind of have a selfish reason for doing it. I’m one of those women. “You can’t be what you can’t see.” -Marian Wright Edelman Several years ago, I was blogging sporadically... Read more
So, you’re a fundamentalist, or an ex-fundamentalist, thinking about experimenting with a rosary. You really like to live on the edge there, don’t ya? At first, you’ll probably be all, “I’m not Catholic, so I’m not allowed to pray the Rosary,” but you’re wrong. Nobody officially told me that or anything. I’m basing that on the fact I prayed the Rosary before I was Catholic, and I wasn’t struck down by some divine force and nobody came to my house... Read more
We think of pregnancy-related deaths as a problem that existed back in the “olden days,” but maternal mortality is still a major issue today. In fact, maternal mortality rates in the U.S. are rising. According to the CDC, about 700 women die from pregnancy or delivery related complications each year. Black women are especially at danger in the U.S. This week, a link to an NBC news story has been shared around my social media feeds: U.S. is the most... Read more
I’ve been waiting to comment on the incident that took place last week between a group of young men from Covington Catholic High School, several men identified as Black Hebrew Israelites, and an elder from the Omaha tribe. I don’t like to make a statement unless I’ve got something to add to the existing conversation. It’s not exactly useful if I post the equivalent of, “Yeah, what those other thousand people just said!” I believe I do have some insight... Read more
The more I talk to people in their late teens and 20s who are in the process of deconversion and healing from toxic religious communities, the more respect I have for them. I share some of their experiences, but it’s not quite the same now as it was when I made my exit 20 years ago. The hardest thing I did in 1999 was cut off all contact with my community. When you’re hiding from a stalker that your church... Read more
When I was in 6th grade, my younger sister had to do a family tree project for school. She sat down with our mom and filled out our grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ names. That’s when she told us her maiden name, Bukosbe, wasn’t really Bukosbe. Her grandfather had changed the name from Bukowski because people gave him a hard time for being German. Anyone familiar with names that end in -ski knows that’s not a German name, but we’ll get to... Read more
I’ve seen several discussions about Marie Kondo’s new Netflix show. I’ve been aware of the idea of letting go of items that don’t bring you joy for a while, but I could never see how something like that would apply to a person like me. I hate clutter and all, but I can’t afford to get rid of anything I have. I might have two sauce pans, but that’s because I know darn well if the handle breaks off my... Read more
Way Station in the Wilderness
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In