I tried to make it to Mass this weekend. We got one of those November snowfalls I’m somehow always surprised by, even though I’ve lived up north for most of my adult life. I wasn’t going to let some slushy and icy roads slow me down, though. My car is iffy these days, so I asked to borrow one of my parents’ vans. The night before, the muffler fell off one of the vans (because of course it did), so... Read more
A friend of mine recently wrapped up a six-month online social experiment on ministry and gender. Since I’m very interested in how gender biases can impact who we do and don’t listen to, I’m so thankful she agreed to let me interview her. She and I have found homes in different Christian traditions, but her experiment gives all of us plenty to think about. Reverend Melissa Fain is an ordained Disciples of Christ minister. She has a BA in Music... Read more
I didn’t grow up in the Catholic church, so I’m not sure how big of an impact someone like Joshua Harris had on Catholic teenagers. I do know he had a huge impact within the evangelical world. I was sixteen when I Kissed Dating Goodbye came out. Before that, boys and girls in my church were expected to stay chaste. After that book came out, we were expected to stop having human thoughts and emotions. If I held a boy’s... Read more
It’s the first anniversary of #MeToo going viral. Last week was the 19th anniversary of the night a man broke into my home and set my bed on fire. This week is the 19th anniversary of the day I dropped out of college, which cost me a full scholarship, so my family and I could move out of state and out of that man’s reach. And that’s not even the experience I was thinking of when I posted #MeToo last... Read more
They said I was a morbid kid. Other kids wanted to visit Six Flags. I wanted to visit cemeteries. I don’t know how my fascination with death began. It might have grown out of all those times I heard my mother and I had almost died when I was born. I’ve always known I almost wasn’t. It could be because one of my earliest memories involves the death of a family member. Or because there was a family story about... Read more
It’s peak color season where I live. I’m probably supposed to tell you, “The trees are blazing with brilliant reds,” or something before talking about each leaf stirring in a gentle breeze, then lazily falling to the ground. And then I’d go on about the beauty of creation for 500 words. But I’m not going to do that. We delight in the beauty of trees losing their leaves, but they aren’t actually losing them. They’re throwing them off. Trees don’t... Read more
We’re at a turning point in history. It’s going to take a lot of work, but we can do this. We can change our culture. We can’t change much for those of us who are grown women. Most of us already bear the scars of a million cuts of injustice. We’ve already been knocked off our tracks by sexism and all the different ways we’ve lacked opportunities others have gotten without merit. We can’t undo what’s been done to us.... Read more
Most sexual assault survivors are supportive of other survivors, but sometimes a sexual assault victim comes along who isn’t supportive. Sometimes these victims are outright hostile toward survivors. It can be hard to understand why these fellow victims would try to throw other victims under the bus. In my experience, there are a few reasons this might happen, and I believe it’s important for us to be aware of these reasons as we’re having these difficult conversations. Safety in Silence... Read more
A couple of weeks ago, a good chunk of my town went offline for over a week. I’m back up now, though the connection still blinks out for a few hours each day because rural living, y’all. Now I’m trying to scramble and catch up on all the things I couldn’t get done while I was offline. Like most people, I do pretty much everything on the computer. I kept freaking out about my checking account balance getting low without... Read more
Let’s talk about crossing the line. It might not seem like a “church” issue, but it’s an issue in any place where humans cross paths. I’ve seen some complaints over the past year, ever since #MeToo started flying across our social media and a handful of well-known men with credible allegations against them lost, well not their lives or their wealth or their freedom, but their jobs. The main complaint from some men is they’re worried they can’t even speak... Read more
Way Station in the Wilderness
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