“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Timothy 4:7 There are over 2 billion Christians in the world right now. How many did the apostles convert? We can’t know for sure, but it wasn’t anywhere close to 2 billion. After every hardship they endured, they left behind a few small communities of Christians. To most people living at that time, I’m sure it looked like a failure. As St.... Read more
Trigger Warning It wasn’t your fault. You were not complicit. You weren’t complicit if you didn’t fight back. You weren’t complicit if you went along with what an authority figure wanted. You weren’t complicit if you didn’t report it. You are never to blame. It’s not a sin to do what you need to do to survive. Sometimes fighting back is dangerous. If you freeze up and go along with it, that’s a very normal reaction, and you’ve done nothing... Read more
I know that after my departure savage wolves will come among you, and they will not spare the flock. And from your own group, men will come forward perverting the truth to draw the disciples away after them. (Acts 20:29-30) How do we know who to believe when we don’t have access to hard evidence? The first time I was asked to weigh in on this question, it was about allegations of sexual abuse within the context of a religious community.... Read more
It’s taken me a few days to collect my thoughts after reading the Letter to the People of God Pope Francis put out on Monday. The first sentence was jarring for me, so I wanted to take some time to think before posting about it. Pope Francis began his letter by quoting 1 Corinthians 12:26. “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it.” That verse hit me hard because I know the surrounding scripture very well. In 1999, I highlighted... Read more
About fifteen years ago, I was standing in the Christian section of a bookstore with my sister. She was browsing while I was trying to get her to hurry up by complaining about how terrible Christians were and how stupid their books were and why did so many people from Dad’s church think my sister and I were the same person? I was blonde. She was brunette. It wasn’t that complicated! The only reason I shut up is because a... Read more
I used to think I was the only person who experienced panic attacks inside church buildings. It doesn’t happen often, but I have been known to get to the parking lot, immediately pull a U-Turn and nope on out because all the sudden I can’t catch my breath. When I started sharing my challenges a few years ago, I heard from people with the same problem. Something terrible had happened to them in the church, and now their brains were... Read more
“Whoever has ears ought to hear.” —Matthew 11:15 I’m working my way through the Grand Jury report right now. It’s hard to read, but as a member of this greater Catholic community, I feel like I owe the victims who have been silenced by the church that much. If it’s hard for me to read, how much harder was it for them to live? I’m not surprised there are so many predators among the clergy. I’m not surprised there are so... Read more
When I was nineteen, I worked as a drugstore cashier for a while. I usually took my breaks alone, so I always kept some reading material in the back room. Two of my favorite magazines to read in the break room were Cosmo and Scientific American—sex and science. Since I was only about a year out of my fundamentalist church, I had some information gaps in both areas. (Don’t worry. I did know enough not to believe Cosmo sex advice.)... Read more
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9 I was eighteen the first time I faced a predator inside the church. He was old enough to be my father, and everyone in our church knew he had problems. When I didn’t give him the attention he wanted, he started stalking me. He terrorized my family for months, breaking into our home, starting a fire,... Read more
When I was sixteen, I was super into God. How into God? I made a poster that read, “Knock and the door shall be opened unto you,” to hang on my bedroom door. That into God. (Also that pretentious.) I was fresh off a mission trip, deep into leading two Bible studies, and heavily involved in organizing my church’s bi-weekly youth rallies. Everything I did during that time had something to do with God. I talked to God all day... Read more
Way Station in the Wilderness
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