7 Quick Takes Friday: The Political Rant Edition

#7

The Un-ironic, Unfunny Hipsters at the Rally to Restore Sanity

They are just obnoxious. They think they are intellectually superior and therefore can be smug and condescending to their “hickish zealot” fellow Americans. But perhaps most annoying is their collective fascination with low-slung skinny jeans and that stupid, ironic smile (see above picture) that they think makes them look intelligent and elite. Grrrr.

#6

Hickish Zealots at the Tea Parties

 These people annoy me. In general, I support the Teaparty’s fiscal conservatism and grassroots activism. But I would be lying if I said they weren’t harboring a few nutcases. Christine O’Donnell, anyone? The problem is, the nutcases make us all look like alarmist morons, which brings out the infuriatingly ironic smiles on the hipsters’ faces. Grrr.

#5

Michael Savage

Cheap shot? Absolutely. But this guy is so, so awful. The term hate-monger was invented to describe people like him. The most horrible example of his horrible “politics” appears in his latest book, Trickle Up Poverty, in which he calls for the forced implantation of birth control devices for all recipients of welfare. Here’s what the man himself has to say about it:

“That’s a revolutionary statement. But should we permit women on welfare to keep knocking out babies to increase their benefits? Only an insane society would permit that.”

Oh. What. A. Jerk.

So I’ll admit that in my contracepting and more judgmental days, this statement wouldn’t have bothered me. I probably would have even agreed with it. But now…now I object to birth control on moral grounds. Also, I have now known the shame and humiliation of having to rely on government assistance. Trust me, it’s not the joy ride the politicians and pundits, who have never experienced it, make it out to be. I cannot emphasize enough how humiliating it is to pay for groceries with food stamps with children clinging to the sides of your cart. Everyone stares, everyone makes comments remarkably similar to Mr. Savage’s in stage-whispers, everyone calls you a freeloader under their breath. Never mind that your husband spends nearly 80 hours a week working toward his dissertation, without which we have no hope of existing off of government assistance; never mind that we chose to have a homebirth and use a midwife (whom we paid out of our own pocket) in part because we hated the idea of taxpayers paying for thousands of dollars in hospital charges. Never mind that we have children NOT to increase our benefits but because God has commanded us to be open to life. And never mind that the fact that we are on government assistance and we are not using birth control has put us both through some pretty serious guilt and doubt.

I could go on, but suffice it to say that if Mr. Savage had his way, I would be held down and forcibly fitted with a Norplant device, or my family would starve and my children would lose their health care coverage. I think eugenicist is a more appropriate term for this man than pundit. In fact, I think he and Margaret Sanger would have gotten along very well.

#4

Brad Pitt

See, this week Brad Pitt, who is famously on record for being against the death penalty, said that he would reconsider his stance on the death penalty for the BP executives presiding over the oil spill.

Oh, that’s good. Let’s not consider harsh punishments for people who, like, kill children. But those oil-coated pelicans deserve retribution, damn it!

#3

Harry Reid

I live in Nevada, and let me tell you, this election has been a nasty one. Both sides went for the throat, but Reid’s campaign left no stone unturned in it’s attack on Sharron Angle. To tell you the truth, after months of commercials, signs and radio ads I still have no idea what platform either of the candidates were running on. I don’t know anything about their policies or what they want to implement or change in Congress. All I know is that Harry Reid single-handedly destroyed America and will kill our children now that he’s been elected, and that it’s a good thing we didn’t elect Sharron Angle because if she’d won we would all be in caskets and there would be no children on the playgrounds.

#2

Nancy Pelosi

I seriously do not want to have to see more pictures of her and hear more about her stupid, insane policies, one of which has now made the formerly lush mid-California a passable imitation of the Dust Bowl. But she won re-election. Can you put a filter on the internet that filters all images and news related to Nancy Pelosi? That would be an excellent invention.

#1

Mr. President

Jeez. He really gets under my skin. And it’s not even his wretched policies or his terribly embarrassing teleprompter reliance, it’s his superiority. Even now, with the American people soundly rejecting all that he has stood for, he refuses to acknowledge that we may not agree with his policies. He repeatedly insists that the Democrats have “failed in their marketing/narrative.”

I’m going to do a whole post on why the idea of a narrative should never be used outside of literature, but that’s for another day. For today, let’s just translate Obama-speak.

“These stupid wingnuts are too thick to realize that everything I’m doing is for their own good. I’ve got to figure out how to get it through their thick, Jesus-filled midwestern skulls that I want to help them, and that if they’ll just let me I’ll make their lives better.”

Yeah, I truly believe he has good intentions. And on that note, I leave you with a quote that is very appropriate for our current president.

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”

-C.S. Lewis

Okay, go see Jen now. I promise she won’t talk about politics, at all.