Church Sign Epic Fails: Reader Submission Special Edition

Recently, I got a request from Thomas Nelson publishers to give away ten copies of “Red Letter REvolution,” the new book by Tony Campolo and Shane Claiborne, through my various networks. What better way to give then away, I decided, than to solicit church signs from the public at large! And you guys came up with some beauties.

I still have a few copies of the forthcoming book to give away, so if you think you can do better than these, send it my way. If I post your sign on my weekly epic fail post, you win, Simple as that.

So for the first time, I bring you an entirely reader-generated collection of the signs you love to cringe at…

Summing up the biggest trend in American Christian churches today (sigh).

Couldn’t I just get an XBox 360 instead?

Front of the business card…

…and the back. Both equally bad.

Not exactly a church sign, but the giant cordless phone sealed the deal. At least it’s not a bluetooth headset.

That’s a whole lot of dead Jesus right there.

oh yeah, like, the most boring position of them all. Wait, what? Oh, never mind.

I don’t make mistakes…except for spelling ones.

The layers of wrong on this sign remind me a bit of the layers of sediment at an archaeological dig. So, so many.

Church Sign Epic Fails, Miraculous Mashup (Vol. 31)

Church Sign Epic Fails: Holy Kitsch Edition

Church Sign Epic Location Fails (Vol. 29)

Church Sign Epic Fails, WTF Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Volume 27

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He co-created and co-edits the “WTF: Where’s the Faith?” young adult series with Chalice Press, and he has a memoir on faith, family and parenting being published in early 2012 called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date.

  • RevJerry

    Try a missionary position. That’s a great church sign rather than a fail. Umm, I may need that business card.

  • http://mistformsquirrel.deviantart.com/ mistformsquirrel

    I don’t even get where they’re going with that last one… what does evolution have to do with helping or not helping poor people? That’s just kind of random to me.

    • http://twitter.com/ElizaAnderson1 Elizabeth Anderson

      That’s what I was wondering…I mean…being poor is not even an evolutionary failure that could cause the human race to de-evolve, so…not sure what they were going for. I’m going to assume they just don’t understand evolution…

  • http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke

    The original “Get out of Hell Free” was non-denominational (or maybe Universalist?)
    http://www.getoutofhellfree.com/

  • http://jamoche.dreamwidth.org/ Jamoche

    The layers of wrong on this sign remind me a bit of the layers of sediment at an archaeological dig. So, so many.

    The phrase my friends and I use is “fractally wrong” – the closer you look at it, the more wrong you see.

  • Azide

    The “praystation” one is actually from a fake protest staged as part of a particularly gross viral marketing campaign for the game Dante’s Inferno.

  • jelly andrews

    This is really interesting. The pray station
    thing got my attention. Why of all games, it’s playstation that needs to be
    trade? Is it because it’s a perfect rhyme?


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