5 surprising teachings about SEX in the Bible

couple sunset silhoutte

One of the bestselling books of all-time is the Kama Sutra which is an ancient text using both words and images to detail nearly every imaginable sexual position. When people think of a timeless book that holds the keys to great sex, their first thought might be the Kama Sutra, but I’d argue a better choice would actually be the the Bible. Perhaps it surprises you to think of the Bible as a practical manual for your sex life, but I’m convinced its the most important resource at your disposal to help you have a healthy sex life (and every other part of your life as well). Here’s why…

[Read more...]

4 signs that you’re too BUSY

too busy

I’ve got a confession to make. I’m addicted to being busy. Like most “busy-holics” I’ve been guilty of keep a frenetic and unsustainable pace in life at the expense of my health and my happiness (and often at the expense of my loved ones as well). Still, I often wear busyness like a badge of honor even while it creates stress, sleepless nights and strained relationships.

This is an area of my life where I’ve been working to improve, and I’ve made some improvements which I wrote about in my popular post on 5 keys to living a focused life. But I have a long way to go. I was reminded of this yesterday when I officiated the funeral for a young, seemingly-healthy guy (about my own age) who died instantly and unexpectedly from an apparent heart attack. Moments like that cause all of us to reevaluate our own lives and determine where we need to make improvements.

I’ve realized I’m too busy and need to make some changes. Take a look at this simple test below and if you can relate to one or more of these indicators, I’d say you’re too busy too. Take immediate action to bring more balance and rest into your life. It will benefit your health, your happiness and your loved ones too.

[Read more...]

Ten Bible verses that changed my marriage

Bible wedding rings

The Bible has changed my life and my marriage. Seriously. Depending on where you are on your faith journey, you may look at the Bible (as I do) as a love letter from God filled with inspiration and instruction for life OR perhaps you just see it as an antiquated, outdated relic. Regardless of your current faith (or lack of faith), I’d encourage you to read the ten verses below, because they’ve had a tremendous impact on my life and I believe they could provide some encouragement to you as well.

I challenge you to apply the timeless wisdom of these ten verses below and see what happens. You might be amazed at just how practical and relevant the Bible is for marriage and for every other aspect of life as well.

[Read more...]

I’ve “fallen out of love” with my spouse. Now what?


One of the most common phrases my wife Ashley and I hear when talking with married couples who are facing struggles, boredom, the aftermath of infidelity or any other type of challenge in marriage is something like, “I just don’t feel the same anymore. I’ve fallen out of love with him/her. I’m not sure I want to stay married.”

Maybe you’ve had thoughts like this and maybe you’ve even said them out loud. Feelings are fickle, so chances are, you’ve had moments when you haven’t “felt” like being married to your spouse. Those moments can become defining moments in your marriage. How you choose to respond when you don’t feel “in love” could have lifelong ramifications for your life and your legacy.

In those moments when you’re feeling frustrated in your marriage, please remember these five truths:

[Read more...]

This high cost of a double-life in marriage

Josh Duggar FOX News statement

More than 32 million names were released by hackers when the database of the “Ashley Madison” website was released. The site exists to help married people enter into discreet sexual affairs, but after the hack, the results are anything but discreet (our secrets ALWAYS come out eventually). Josh Duggar was one of the 32 million cheaters living a double life in their marriages, and he just released a Statement through FOX News talking about the shame he has brought on his family.

I’m not writing this post to beat up on the people whose names were just released (I’m sure they’re getting plenty of that already). I’m writing this to plead with YOU (and to remind MYSELF) that we need to honor our marriages in our public lives AND our private lives too. There’s no place for secrets in marriage. Your marriage needs to be built on a sacred trust, an honest transparency and a rock-solid commitment to one another.

When we let boredom or lust lead us into flirtation with someone at work or clicking around on a website we should NEVER be visiting, we need to immediately change course. Affairs don’t start in a bedroom; they start in the mind and with a thousand tiny, bad decisions leading up to the ultimate bad decision of having a sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse.

PLEASE protect your marriage. Don’t start the terrible habits of hiding text messages, erasing internet search histories or doing anything else you’d be uncomfortable with your spouse seeing or knowing about. If those things are already happening, have the courage to confess, apologize and start working to Rebuild Trust with your Spouse.

EVERY secret will eventually come out, but a painful truth is always better than a hidden lie.

For more ways to build a rock-solid marriage, check out my post on 7 rules guaranteed to prevent infidelity and you can also download “iVow” straight to your iPhone or iPad.

Please share this post using the links below, so we can help build stronger marriages together. 

The surprising science of a happy marriage

CNN science of a happy marriage article

CNN.com just reported a fascinating research study on the science of happy marriages and one finding from that study stood out to me as something deeply profound. According to this recently published research, one of the most important factors in the longterm health of a marriage is found in how your spouse responds when you share good news. The research suggests that a spouse’s response to good news is one of the most important factors to the health and happiness of a marriage.

This is an important aspect of marriage and one we shouldn’t overlook. The science shows that this is a MUCH bigger deal in marriages that we may have previously thought. Below are three simple (but important) ways to respond when your spouse shares good news with you. Your response could have a big impact in the longterm health and happiness of your marriage.

[Read more...]

Five things healthy couples do EVERY day

happy couple on beach

After observing the habits of healthy couples from all over the world, I’m convinced that the healthiest couples share some important, daily habits. Below are five habits of happy, healthy couples. This isn’t a comprehensive list, but these five are a really good start. If you’ll implement these in your own marriage, I believe you’ll see some instant improvements!

[Read more...]

The secret sex-killer in marriage

couple in bed frustrated

I’ve written a lot about the importance of sex in marriage and my wife and I even helped to develop the “Best Sex Life Now” course for married couples, because we believe when your sex life with your spouse improves, your marriage can simultaneously improve too. It takes a lot more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

[Read more...]

5 ways wives hurt their husband’s feelings on accident

sad man

I’m going to make a confession to you. It’s a confession many men will try to deny, but it’s the truth. Here it is…we men get our feelings hurt a lot more than we admit. Wow. I already feel a sense of relief now that this HUGE secret if off my chest!

[Read more...]

10 warning signs of an abusive marriage

Worried teenager woman on the beach in winter

If you are being abused or witnessing abuse in your home, please call the free national hotline at 1-800-799-7233. All calls are confidential. 

[Read more...]