Divorce & Facebook.

I set the lap top down. I got up and went into the kitchen for the sharpest knife possible. I returned to my computer screen and I began stabbing it profusely until the knife went clear through. I then threw the laptop through my front window, shattering the glass, my laptop and my heart itself. Read more

In Which I Pare Things Down

When my ex & I separated, I took so few things. I didn’t want a lot from that house, honestly. Over the years, I’d become completely overwhelmed with more than a decade of pat-rack accumulation. There was so much. So much stuff. The mess of that house was the face of our despair. I took my books & my clothes and not much else but a fake plant. Not a coffee table, not a sheet set. Not a couch.  Not… Read more

I Am at Peace

After years & years of angst & soul crushing sorrow, I am at peace. What I’ve been through to get here… …seems downright unmentionable. Peace born from resolve, is greater than happiness. But also, surprisingly there’s happiness too! I am so in love with my husband. My boys are priceless, rowdy treasures. And the joy of a bonus daughter? What four on earth could be more beautiful? I’d give them the sun, moon, stars & the ocean, each & every one. There’s something different about this love I’m receiving, this love I’m giving… its overflowing & going out wildly. I’m softening to enemies, previous abusers and just regular old shitty, inconsistent friends. This love is overflowing & going out wildly. I’m learning to practice this:… Read more


October is pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. Today, I’m sharing over at RaisingMothers.com about the ones I’ve lost. ::::: When I was younger, I was a big ball of happy, jumbled emotions when my ex & I decided to try for our first child. This unknown, unmade hypothetical baby was something I’d wanted since forever. We were married for 4 years and I begged him to start trying from the morning after the wedding. I had deeply & desperately longed… Read more

Besties Until 3004

The other night, one of the great loves of my life came over for a “sleepover.” The last sleepover we had was in the late 90’s so this isn’t our regular practice.  We’ve both had a busy 15 yrs. or so.  Stef & I became fast friends in junior high and we’ve been “besties until 3004”  –our signature slogan– ever since. Our mid 20’s/early 30’s did us in a bit: she went hard into her studies, medical school, residency &… Read more

The Science of Discontent

A few days ago, my new husband released his 2nd collection of poetry, essays & articles called The Science of Discontent. I bought his first offering, Like Hitchhiking in Space within days of first meeting him over the phone.  What better way to get to know a dating partner than to read their deepest pontifications? Seriously. It was like the equivalent of 10 date conversations. Dating a published author is pure jackpot. That first book was several hundred pieces he’d been working… Read more

25 Days of Core Desired Feelings

I realized how much more I desired for each day than I’d previously imagined possible. With so much to live for, why not get busy? Read more

Her Life Matters

This morning I dropped my youngest son off at Kindergarten for his first day.  Like me, a lot of parents were huddled around doting on their little munchkins off to face this new transition. As we waited in line, I knelt down to rest and he burrowed up on my back, playing with dangly earrings. From this low vantage point, I noticed a little African-American girl in another line, alone, crying. I peeled my son off me & went over… Read more

On Fear

Yesterday, I was wildly on top of the world. And as a result I felt optimistic and empowered about addressing everything life throws at me from debt to death and everything in between. I even cleaned out my car, a feat which only happens when hope is present. But today is different. The fears of the unknown and the pain of the past has me emotionally haggard. Read more

Things Are Changing

Yet, don’t cry for me, Argentina. I’m alive to myself. I’m alive to hope. I’m alive to reinvention. I’m alive to awareness. I’m alive to joy. I’m alive to perspective. I’m alive to love. I’m alive to belonging. I’m alive to my sisterhood. I’m alive to my daughterhood. Read more

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