So. Here’s the thing. I turned 40 since my last post. FORTY!?! To commemorate this blessed event, I decided to do my usual annual birthday pearls post in video. The chunk of what I’ve learned in so far. Forty whole years worth! Enjoy! Read more

Perhaps fittingly, I’m beginning to explore the life practice of doing little things everyday as opposed to saving one day for an 8 hr. Project. Why not take 8 days in bite-sized chunks? I’ve been trying to function this way for only a few months now & it’s driving me nuts. For most of my professional career, I’ve sent my kids to daycare & had 6-8 hours of straight focus time. If I wanted to work on my blog or… Read more

I turn 40 later this month, and as such have become hella reflective. This year has been one of the worst years of my life. So much so, I’m thinking of canceling my 40th birthday party. Please, please forgive my swears, but what is the gottdamb mutha-effin’ point of a celebration when you are wildly swiveling through the five stages of grief every other day or week? And please know, I do not say any of this lightly. I do… Read more

The day after Thanksgiving, I sat & cried with my husband about how much I hate Thanksgiving. This year, I find myself emotionally gutted over Drumpf’s politics of course. Who isn’t?  Even bigger than that my heart remained heavy at the treatment of the Standing Rock protesters. On Thanksgiving. With frigid water. In frigid temperatures. Why can’t the United States keep it’s treaties with Native Americans?  Why are we incapable of treating Native Americans fairly? Why God why? My heart hurts for… Read more

I am a queer woman. I fear for the dissolution of the legal marriage with my wife. I am an American-born, Arab-American. I fear Islamophobic harassment which almost every member of my American-born family has experienced. I fear the impact of registration on my friends & family. I am a refugee hoping to be united with family. I fear I’ll never see them again. I am a Black American. I fear the implications of a white nationalist recently named as… Read more

I remember meeting Jesus once at sex camp. It wasn’t our first meeting, but an important one. Everyday I walked up to a giant, beautiful, colorful painting of Jesus’s head, hair blowing in the wind. The massive painting hung on the wall of the Church where I was attending a week long retreat for women being treated for female sex addiction…what I like to call ‘Sex Camp.’ When I first saw the painting I was taken aback. Great art captures… Read more

If I had the power of invisibility the power of flight the power of unlimited strength I would unleash a rage built up over these years settling on tired shoulders. A rage like this world has never seen. Rage at my father Rage for little girls, cut. Rage for my people Rage at the powerful Rage at the law makers Rage at the suits Rage for black women Rage for sex slavery Rage at his betrayal Rage for Kalief Browder… Read more

I must admit I’m borrowing the idea for this post from fellow Patheos blogger, Steve Austin’s powerful post… 6 Amazing Things I Would Have Missed if I Died By Suicide Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I’m woefully familiar with the suicide battle. I’ve struggled with suicidal ideations & a near attempt in 1999. A close consideration in 2004. A close call in 2014. Basically,  all of my adult life I’ve struggled on and off with some form of depression:… Read more

I’m writing today over at Raising Mothers in honor of the 4th annual Black Breastfeeding Week. Breastfeeding is such an important everyday matter in the lives of my people & one that did not come easily for me & my beautiful babies. If you didn’t catch my post on miscarriage & infant loss this is a bit of a follow up…Lost & Found. Found: To Nurture I’ve wanted to breastfeed just as long as I’ve dreamed of being a mama…. Read more

I used to a be a Minister. I served in a ministry position for 12 years. For about 259 reasons I walked away from it, which was healthy & necessary at the time. Intuitively, I knew the storm brewing in my heart and life was bigger than I could handle. Also, I was one half of a crumbling, toxic marriage. As the nightmares of life grew I went on to have a breakdown of sorts including but not limited to… Read more

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