If I had the power of invisibility the power of flight the power of unlimited strength I would unleash a rage built up over these years settling on tired shoulders. A rage like this world has never seen. Rage at my father Rage for little girls, cut. Rage for my people Rage at the powerful Rage at the law makers Rage at the suits Rage for black women Rage for sex slavery Rage at his betrayal Rage for Kalief Browder… Read more

If I Had Died in 1999

I must admit I’m borrowing the idea for this post from fellow Patheos blogger, Steve Austin’s powerful post… 6 Amazing Things I Would Have Missed if I Died By Suicide Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I’m woefully familiar with the suicide battle. I’ve struggled with suicidal ideations & a near attempt in 1999. A close consideration in 2004. A close call in 2014. Basically,  all of my adult life I’ve struggled on and off with some form of depression:… Read more


I’m writing today over at Raising Mothers in honor of the 4th annual Black Breastfeeding Week. Breastfeeding is such an important everyday matter in the lives of my people & one that did not come easily for me & my beautiful babies. If you didn’t catch my post on miscarriage & infant loss this is a bit of a follow up…Lost & Found. Found: To Nurture I’ve wanted to breastfeed just as long as I’ve dreamed of being a mama…. Read more

I Used To Be a Minister

I used to a be a Minister. I served in a ministry position for 12 years. For about 259 reasons I walked away from it, which was healthy & necessary at the time. Intuitively, I knew the storm brewing in my heart and life was bigger than I could handle. Also, I was one half of a crumbling, toxic marriage. As the nightmares of life grew I went on to have a breakdown of sorts including but not limited to… Read more

Black Lives Matter Conditionally

By the words of the media, the condition of our communities (the number of murders in Chiraq over the July 4th weekend, 82+ for example) & the narratives woven post a police brutality murder is that black lives matter conditionally. The cold hard reality is this: sometimes black lives matter, a lot of times they don’t. Black & brown bodies are being lost in a myriad of ways. When we discuss “black-on-black crime,” the numbers of folks being gunned down… Read more

My Big, Fat, Audacious Career Lessons, Mistakes & Risks

 I got laid off from my company last November, the day after Thanksgiving. The company was seriously shady & in preparation for their imminent bankruptcy they’d stop paying into unemployment for my state, where there were only 3 of hundreds of employees. Needless to say, none of us Michigander’s were able to collect unemployment while we searched for new positions. We got our last check a week into December, when we were expecting 3 December pay-outs. Not only that, because… Read more

I Switched Husbands

I got off the plane and in the car with 6 other women, perfect strangers. I was in Nebraska, a state I’d never been before nor expected to ever go. I was there as the keynote speaker for the women’s retreat, Jumping Tandem. Given the nature of my previous three years, keynoting was also unexpected. Quite. My heart contained all the feels. Wait, let me clarify: my heart contained all the wrong feels… …I am divorced, therefore horrible. …I am… Read more

Without Self Pity: Ruthless

Yesterday, I posted on my public FB page about life being impossible and awful and how I had no hope and therefore must die. Or…something like that. A bit ago, the company I was working for folded & all of sudden *poof* I’m unemployed. As it turns out, they were straight up swindlers. They owe a lot of us a good chunk of change & made it impossible for any of us to collect unemployment in the midst of this abrupt… Read more

I asked for two letters

A few weeks before Christmas, my 10 yr. old asked what he could give me for Christmas that would be meaningful for me. Truthfully, he asked what he could do for me, substituting as a Christmas gift. His Dad had mentioned a few tasks around the house that Ransom agreed to do in exchange for a gift. Now, he’d come to me asking if I wanted him to clean my bathroom as a meaningful gesture. Very sweet indeed. I told… Read more

39 Birthday Pearls

You must learn to be at home with yourself, both literally & figuratively. At home, clean up just for you. Cook well even when no one else is coming over. Shave your legs, just for you. Do better for yourself when alone, just for the love of you. Practice feeding, blanketing, soothing & caring for you, for the love of you. Others can and will do it, but true self-care starts & ends with yourself. Be at home with yourself. Heed the wise advice of someone smarter than me: “be who you needed when you were young.” Read more

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