After Ben's birth in September 2011, I suffered from severe sleep deprivation, psychosis, and postpartum depression. It was the darkest time in my life. I was hospitalized for nearly 2 weeks and separated from my newborn for most of that time. The situation was completely beyond my control but I felt so much shame over it. With the help of good doctors and my amazing family I began to recover and finally feel like myself again. Read more
Alabama weather: you really just never know. I’m sure folks in other parts of the Deep South feel the same way, but let me give you an example…Saturday and Sunday, I had a photo shoot each day. I wore shorts and t-shirts each day and was as comfortable as could be. Sunday, I was even sweating a little. It was warm, but the weather was picture perfect for this photographer! And then Monday showed up… It rained all night Sunday... Read more
Yesterday, I wrote about my little boy wanting to catch airplanes and hold the moon. A blog buddy of mine, Michael, commented with this: I used to love to lay back into the back window of the car and watch things in view pass by or the road rush away…the lines part and rejoin. I also loved watching the moon chase us no matter how fast we moved. Those were the days! Those who know me well, will understand that... Read more
Ben Thomas and Lindsey were riding in the car the other night and he had his hand up to the window in a funny way. When his Momma asked, “Whatcha doin’?”, BT replied, “I get the moon, Momma!” He wanted to hold it. He has one heck of an imagination for a 2 1/2 year old. He was playing at the park with his Momma on Monday and this is what he started doing… There was an airplane overhead, and he wanted to catch... Read more
Lindsey and I have been on a “just us” long weekend and will be heading home later today. We’ve stayed in a Colonial cottage on the edge of Gorham’s Bluff (extreme Northeast Alabama). Below us, there is a 3,400 acre reservoir and a great view of the Tennessee River. We have enjoyed gorgeous sunsets each night and tons of quality time together. We left our two-year-old at home with some other folks he adores, so this truly has been just... Read more
I was driving to work early one morning, thinking of all my stressors. There are our finances, the meeting with my big boss, the fact that I have been recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and more. My shoulders were tense, my hands gripped the steering wheel, and I could feel myself doing those stupid “stress breaths”. Do you ever have those? The kind where you barely inhale and exhale because you’re so focused on everything else that is taunting your... Read more
I left my journal at work last night. This particular interpreting assignment is at a location where I especially wouldn’t want my private journal to be taken. I had written a few new entries for GraceIsMessy and when I sat down to type them out at home, I thought I had just left the journal in the car. When I made it to the car, only to find it missing, I became extremely anxious. Once I came back inside, I... Read more
I was sitting at the kitchen table, reading over some precious comments on my post from January 2nd and thanking God for each of you. I began to let your words really sink into my spirit as I sat there, ruminating over the encouragement I received from a couple of you. I was reminded that it’s ok not to have it all together. You said things that told my soul to rest and allowed me to really listen to the... Read more
“Only Jesus”, I read these two words quite often in the types of books and blogs I frequent, but for whatever reason, they echoed down the halls of my heart when I read them earlier this week. I couldn’t begin to remember which site I was on, but they spoke to me in a much more significant way. Look at the story of the woman at the well (Jn. 4:4-26). She tried multiple times to fill her heart with illegitimate... Read more
Note: I love to pour through my old paper (imagine that!) journals from time-to-time, and this one struck me. I want to get back to this place of inner-peace and of reconnecting with God through silence and nature. I think the 18-year-old me was much more Franciscan than the 31-year-old me…and I didn’t even KNOW of St. Francis back then! 🙂 Saturday, June 16, 2001: Merrowvista, New Hampshire International Youth Leadership Conference What does it mean to be at peace... Read more
Grace is Messy
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