Living in another culture can make you cynical . . . or make you even more cynical. On those days, a person is tempted to turn on some Coldplay and check out from the world. Should we?

I once heard a wise woman warn a group of foreigners of the frequent temptation they would soon face as they entered their new life in China. She said that whenever we as humans face a new circumstance that we don’t understand, our natural inclination is to categorize it as something “bad.” This is all the more true when you don’t know the local language. To add to the problem, reading local people’s body language may prove more difficult than reading Chinese characters.

How does this dynamic affect missionaries in the long-term?

Over time, a thousand little cuts of misunderstanding and struggle wear a person down so that he or she grows defensive, agitated, and suspicious of those around.

For a common example, consider buying fruit and vegetables at the local market. Everyone knows that locals get a better price. Speaking Mandarin is not even good enough for the Chinese vendor––he or she wants to hear the customer speak the local dialect, which even Chinese from outside cities won’t know. For now other reason than this, you will pay a higher price for food. Let’s not even begin to talk about taxi drivers and the ways they might try to cheat you.

Finally, to make things worse, missionaries are often forgotten by family and friends back in their home country. Of course, I’m not saying that every person forgets them. What I mean is this (and I’ve heard foreigners say something similar many times over) –– you find out who your real friends are because those you thought were close friends seemly forget to write emails, be available for Skype chats, or send texts. The dictum simply proves true: “out of sight, out of mind.”

In this environment, it’s easy for people to think the world is against them.

Once a person grows lonely and resentful enough, he or she will use Scripture to defend this belief. After all, Jesus did say, “If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you” (John 15:19).

Not surprisingly, this sort of mentality is not conducive to loving people. Instead, it creates fear, distance, prejudice, and ultimately anger.

The World is Against Jesus

Is the world against us? Yes, . . . sort of. Going back one verse to John 15:18, notice what Jesus says, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”

If anyone had a reason to say the world was against him, it was Jesus. No one understands the reality of human hatred and the sin nature better than Jesus who was rejected though he was perfect. Let me repeat that again: the world hated Jesus and yet he was perfect.

How did he respond?

He died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised (2 Cor 5:15).

Whereas we can deceive ourselves and think the “everyone is against me” (when really very few people are thinking of us), Jesus knew quite well that all people are sinners and are is rebellion against him. In fact, he even chose Judas as a disciple, even though he knew Judas would eventually betray him (cf. John 6:64–71).

So how should we respond?

First of all, know that the world is not actually against you.

We have joined a global family. In Mark 10:29–30, Jesus said,

“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.”

Second, it is all right to admit the pain that comes with isolation.

Yes, there are plenty of people who don’t care about you. In fact, John writes, “Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you” (1 John 3:13). Acknowledging that fact (more so than ignorance and denial) magnifies the love of Christ in you that compels you to serve those who disregard you.

Third, don’t withdraw. 

Withdrawing from people will actually cause you more pain than if you were to open up to others and, in the process, get hurt by others. When the heart is away from people to long, it becomes hardened. Life evaporates from the heart, leaving us a mere shell of a Christian. Like a leper, we become desensitized to the point of our own death.

Fourth, consider Jesus (Heb 11:1–3).

We learn from Jesus that self-preservation is not a precondition for vulnerability and personal engagement with others. In fact, it is precisely those times when we feel alone and rejected that we have the opportunity to demonstrate the greatest love (cf. Rom 5:6–10).

Fifth, receive encouragement.

Peter offers us timely wisdom and encouragement when we face the temptation to despair. In 1 Peter 5:6–10, he writes,

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”