The kindergarten rules

kindergarten rules

Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library

Here are some lessons you’re supposed to learn as a child that will definitely serve you when you’re older:

  • Don’t touch that.
  • Say please.
  • Use your words.
  • Say your prayers.
  • Don’t beat up the little guys; they might grow up bigger than you.
  • Play nice.
  • If you break the rules, it won’t go well.
  • When you’ve done something wrong, you should go to your room and think about what you’ve done.
  • Don’t sit with your stinky stuff too long; it’ll cause a rash.
  • You’re not as clever as you think.
  • Be good to your mommy.
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    About Joel J. Miller

    I'm the author of Lifted by Angels, a look at angels through the eyes of the early church. Click here for more about me or subscribe to my RSS here.

    • Ryan

      If you can’t say something nice. Don’t say anything at all.

      Don’t interrupt while others are talking.

      • Joel J. Miller

        Good ones.

    • Ally Garner

      This reminds me of that book my Mom read years ago “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.” As you’re pointing out, there’s a lot of truth to that.

      Things I remember from Kindergarten:

      Jesus love me
      Share with others
      Don’t tell false tales
      Keep your hands to yourself

      • Joel J. Miller

        Love those.

    • Pauline

      At snack time, put your hands in your lap until everyone is served!


      • Joel J. Miller

        I’m not sure I ever learned that one — still struggle with it. :)

    • Deborah Claypool

      Clean up, clean up everybody help!

      • Joel J. Miller


    • Bethany Turner

      The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

      • Joel J. Miller

        Always a good one to come back to (and never let go).

    • Lee

      Here’s a couple my mom gave me…

      “Stop picking at that. You’re gonna get an infection.”

      “Never put your papa’s smoking pipe in your mouth. It will make you throw up.”

      Then a couple more from teachers…

      “Some of you are digging for gold, but all you’re going to find is boogers.”

      “Just because a girl kisses you doesn’t mean you should kick her in the leg.”

      Back to mom, to close…

      “The three most important things you can say are ‘I love you’, ‘Thank you’, and ‘I’m sorry’…You should say each one at least once every day.”

      • Joel J. Miller

        I like those a lot, especially your mom’s close.

    • Sarah

      You should have these printed up on a poster so people can tack them up in their offices. :)

      • Joel J. Miller

        Great idea.

    • Ken Mansfield

      In choosing your relationships….”When you lay down with pigs you get up dirty”. Oh wait a minute that wasn’t kindergarden that was the music business.

      • Joel J. Miller

        Oy, and you’ve got the stories, too, Ken. Good reminder.

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