Why Did the Surfer Cross the Road?

Since writing California Itchin’ I’ve been particularly aware of just how weird Southern California really is. I live in southern Southern California—in San Diego. The quality of Southern Californianosity increases, I have found, as one moves south from Los Angeles.

Until finally you’re in the beach-side communities of San Diego, where, in a typical neighborhood, you can find road signs like this, which I found a block away from where my wife works:

surferxing

Related piece o’mine: Do People Get Stoned at Work?

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About John Shore

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  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    When we went to Tijuana we got a kick out of the signs of entire families running across the road.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Helly: Yes, that's so funny! Like they need to TELL you what, if you saw that, you'd actually be looking at.

    Skerrib: I know that sign well. The amazing thing about it is that, if you noticed, is that the feet of the little girl—the fourth and last figure in the chain of the hand-holding, racing family–are actually off the ground. They're running so fast she's AIRBORNE. That kills me.

  • http://minoritythinker.blogspot.com Shannon

    I would suppose that a surfer could cross the street when walking home…

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Shannon: Yeah, why did I think that was weird? Oh, right. You can't really tell from this picture, but this surfer is very dry and neat and …. dry and neat. It's a weirdly detailed graphic, actually; you can really SEE his hair and face and … mustache, even. He's definitely All Dry.

    But yeah, you're right. He could have dried off, relaxed, and then come home. That does totally make sense.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    (Actually, now I'm going to cut all the text beneath the picture. I like it better that way….)

  • http://helly.tripod.com Helly

    I see they wisely chose not to put any words on the sign, lest they run the risk of bong-induced misspellings forever commemorated on those signs!

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    (And now I'm just talking to myself. I knew that someday it would come to this. I'm actually surprised it's taken this long.

    So, John, who do you think they got to model for that surfer sign?

    I don't know.

    Do you care?

    Of course I care.

    You don't seem like you're caring.

    I totally am! I would KILL to know who that person was.

    Kill? Really, John. Kill?

    Well, I'd be … pretty darn rude. I might inadvertently nudge someone, yes.

    But you said "kill."

    Well, I didn't MEAN kill.

    So you lied.

    No. I exaggerated. What is the MATTER with you?

    Why would you exaggerate? Why not just SAY?

    Exaggeration is fun. You know, I'm starting to hate you.

    And that wasn't exaggeration, by the way. Your "kill" was hyperbole.

    Hyberbowhat?

    Hyperbole. It's for people who want other people to think the nothing they have to say is actually something.

    Wow. So I really do hate you.

    "Exaggerating" again?

    No. UNDERSTATING, actually.

    So now you're threatening me with violence. How charming.

    Say, you know ….. Why don't you just … go to sleep now?

    I am tired.

    Yes. Go to sleep. Sleep. Go to sleep.

    I think I will. G'night.

    Good night. Don't let the bed bugs sink their … I mean, bite.)

  • http://www.ldbeams.wordpress.com ladybeams

    I don't know why I was thinking you were living back east somewhere. Did you just move to California or have you always been here?

    Great conversation you have with yourself. Now I'll have to quit telling myself how nuts I am. LOL.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Lady: I've always lived in CA. You probably think I'm from the East coast because I'm so urbane and sophisticated-seeming. I'm sure that's it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    I would pay cash money to see John Shore on a Boogie Board…


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