A Reader Asks, “Why Do I Need Jesus to Change My Life?”

In response to a piece of mine (The Happiest Ending Ever), in which I told of my instant, out-of-nowhere conversion to Christianity, a reader named Sarah left me a comment. “But why do I need Jesus to change my life?” she wrote. “Can’t I do that on my own? Oh, and, what if I don’t want to change? What if I like who I am?” Guided by the Holy Spirit (and writing, in blog-style, fairly quickly), here’s what I posted back... Read more

Chrissie Hynde and Me

The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To learn more about Amazon Prime—and to get a one-month free trial—go here. ) As per Amazon’s rules, content included in the Kindle Lending Library program... Read more

Why Martians Could Have Snagged Me at a Rock Concert Last Night

Be afraid, Martians!!  Last night my wife Cat and I went to the largest outdoor concert venue in San Diego to see (in order of appearance) REO Speedwagon, Stray Cats, The Pretenders, and ZZ Top. Whoo-hoo! Rock ‘n roll! Except … older! Whoo-hoo again! By way of generally complementing my mostly silver goatee (which, many people don’t know, is French for, “Bleed less while shaving”), I wore to the concert my usual middle-aged hipster outfit of khaki pants, a Tommy Bahama... Read more

My Bad!

Okay, so there’s a guy named Byron Borger, who runs a truly quality independent bookstore called Hearts & Minds in Dallastown, PA. I know Byron because on his store’s website he once named my book Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang as a Best Book of the Year, 2006. (Specifically, he tagged it as one of that year’s three Funniest Books. Bragging break! Part of what Byron wrote about Penguins was, “This pocket-sized hardback is funny from the outset … .... Read more

About Buying “I’m OK–You’re Not.” (And some other … babbling, basically.)

In response to some (lovely) e-mails I’ve received, I’d like to say that everything you read here about Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang is also true about I’m OK–You’re Not. Except these are the online places to buy I’m OK: Christianbook.com Amazon Barnes & Noble Thanks. Oh, wait! There’s more! Pretty extremely apropos of not entirely a lot, the paperback edition of Comma Sense just came out.  (Find some Major Comedy Yuks from that book at When Punctuation Goes Really,... Read more

Famous men in history trying to pick up women

New research into the romantic lives of famous men throughout history has verified what social historians have long suspected: eminent men have always tried to get dates, too. And now, thanks to the tireless research team working at Harvard’s James Q. Riddely Institute for Hornier Histories, we now know the pick-up lines some of them used when doing so. “Discovering the pick-up lines of history’s most important men has really been exciting,” says project leader Melvin Phinbone. “It was a... Read more

What’s in a Word: The Truth Behind Men’s Personal Ads

The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To learn more about Amazon Prime—and to get a one-month free trial—go here. ) As per Amazon’s rules, content included in the Kindle Lending Library program... Read more

And Now For Someone Completely Different

Hi. I’m Lucas Smith. I promise I’m not Jack Bauer in disguise. Or a hippy serial killer. Hey, John Shore Readers! I’m not, nor have ever been, John Shore, but on those dark nights of the soul, I do comfort myself with the thought that perhaps I had a small something to do with a teeny-tiny piece of the big puzzle that brought John Shore to you all. My name’s Lucas Smith, and the publication of John’s first solo book, “Penguins, Pain... Read more

About Buying “Penguins”

People have been writing to say that their local bookstores don’t carry Penguins, the book of mine about which I last blogged. I’m sorry, I should have said: by far the easiest way to get hold of that book is through an online bookseller such as Amazon, or Barnes and Noble. Small titles such as this one simply don’t have the kind of distribution enjoyed by so many of the other 200,000 books published each year. Two hundred thousand book a... Read more

Sprechen zie Penguins?

Yesterday I received in the mail a copy of DRAN, a thick, glossy German magazine for young, hip, twenty-something Christians. It was sent to me because right smack in its middle is a three-page excerpt from my book, “Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang: Why I Do The Things I Do,” by God (as told to John Shore). A German-language edition of the book is coming out this month from the giant German publisher Brockhaus-Verlag; I guess someone from DRAN read the book, liked it–and... Read more
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