Yep, that’s what I feel it’s like. Let’s be honest, I’ve been on a really good run recently with great reviews/conversations/interviews/commentaries/mentions/quotes/etc about my book and work. I’m not naive enough to think this will continue forever. And it hasn’t. And recently, it really hasn’t.
But here’s what I’ve realized through this recent wave of people wanting to personally insult me as a human being—I’m starting to grow up. For years I’ve had people in my life tell me,
“Who cares what those people say, they don’t want to listen in the first place anyway.”
For whatever reason, probably because I’m super sensitive, I care what they, and more realistically, what everyone, says. I take all of it to heart and try to learn something and keep moving forward. But recently I’ve noticed that I’ve been able to keep the “I take all of it to heart and try to learn something and keep moving forward” while not also feeling like a piece of crap. I’m quite excited how the Lord is working in me in this way.
So therefore, getting attacked is like riding a bike in three ways:
1. You get on, try to ride in a straight line and/or by yourself without the training wheels, fall down, it hurts really bad, you get back up and try to do it again until you’ve learned something.
2. Doesn’t matter how long in between falls, they’re around every corner, and will always be a [potential] part of the bike riding journey.
3. Regardless of the first two, you’re better prepared because you’ve learned from the countless other ones. (Or in my case, you repeat this process thousands of times, and not learn anything until years later. The good news: ‘years later’ is right now!)
I feel like I’m living proof of my commentary regarding MLK Jr: The growth only comes retrospectively after much time has been immersed in uncomfortable places.
Strange, but hauntingly true.
I’m at a humble moment right now realizing I have grown. It’s scary and comforting all at once.
PS – This blog post is not an encouragement to now write me more hate mail to test this theory.