It’s Real… I Hate Some People

I hate some people. It doesn’t make it right, it just makes it real. I’m not trying to self-justify my hate towards some in this world. I just need to get it off my chest.

I know it’s strange…

Andrew, you’re the one who preaches about love and reconciliation. What’s the deal with hate? Christians aren’t supposed to hate anyone. Don’t you tell us that, as Christians, we’re supposed to dignify the humanity in all people and see them as the Lord sees us?

Yes, yes I am. But who I am to preach such things if I’m not going to be honest enough to admit my own battle of forgiving and learning to love those I genuinely hate:

Those that have genuinely hurt me. Those that have blatantly lied about me. Those that go out of their way to bring pain and desolation upon my life and work. Those that live a faith and preach a message that are geared towards power and privilege over faithful committment.

Small is the path and narrow is the gate that leads to righteousness. I believe that to be true.

I’m not going to sit here in judgement. That’s God’s job – for myself and others.

I believe Jesus’ words are true and there will be a number of self-proclaiming great Christians who will get a huge surprise on judgement day. There’s a difference between good and faithful. Good and countercultural. Good and following Jesus.

I’m living my own journey with hate, forgiveness and reconciliation. And I’m doing as best as I am able right now.

I’m not writing this so I can get people to tell me how to fix it. I’m writing this to publicly have enough guts to be willing to admit what is pent up deep inside of me.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

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About Andrew Marin

Andrew Marin is President and Founder of The Marin Foundation (www.themarinfoundation.org). He is author of the award winning book Love Is an Orientation (2009), its interactive DVD curriculum (2011), and recently an academic ebook titled Our Last Option: How a New Approach to Civility can Save the Public Square (2013). Andrew is a regular contributor to a variety of media outlets and frequently lectures at universities around the world. Since 2010 Andrew has been asked by the United Nations to advise their various agencies on issues of bridging opposing worldviews, civic engagement, and theological aspects of reconciliation. For twelve years he lived in the LGBT Boystown neighborhood of Chicago, and is currently based St. Andrews, Scotland, where he is teaching and researching at the University of St. Andrews earning his PhD in Constructive Theology with a focus on the Theology of Culture. Andrew's research centers on the cultural, political, and religious dynamics of reconciliation. Andrew is married to Brenda, and you can find him elsewhere on Twitter (@Andrew_Marin), Facebook (AndrewMarin01), and Instagram (@andrewmarin1).

  • Lana

    Andrew, thank you for being honest; for being real. Sooo tired of hearing what we ‘should’ be and not allowing the what we are; that is so phony- just like so much of churchianity. Yes, let it out. We do not become all loving and not hateful by forcing it, neither by concealing it and putting on a loving face, when it is really not there. Love to you, man!

  • Joan

    Hey Andrew. I was just reading Psalms this morning. You sound a lot like David. I appreciate your honesty. Check out Psalm 42. One thing I got from this was that, If I must complain, do it before God and not before man. (Please don’t misunderstand, I am not saying you should not have shared this. There are times when we are to confess our weaknesses to those around us in order that they can encourage us-as in the Body of Christ- and so that we can be accountable and once we have confessed, take it to the Father and allow Him to bring healing) When we show our trouble before God it is for our relief and not his information; not that He may see it but that we may see Him. Let all be done before the Lord, for in comparison with His great majesty of love the trouble will seem to be as nothing. (taken from a quote by Charles Spurgeon)

  • Cameron

    Andrew, Just because you have taken a call to try and open others eyes and teach how to spread love and not hate does not mean that you are magically not human any more. As much as it pains us all to admit our “humanness” we all deal with sin, at least you are willing to admit where you are working on sin in your life. Stay strong and carry on. Your work is important and no human can destroy what God is creating through you.

  • Jason

    Dude….me too.

  • Erin

    You ARE human – I almost forgot. <3

  • wackywilliams

    yeah I fight the same battle, Andrew. I have a very compashonite nater on averge but can have a very dark hate as well. I am trying to let God grow me past it but it is still there right now & sometimes civilty is more then I can manige with some people. that dosen’t mean God loves us any less for haveing that hate & it dosen’t mean the people we hate he loves any less either, it is just a fact of the fallen humen natcher. & yes I concurr that there will be many self richis people that will be shocked not to make heavin but I also beleve & hope that thire will be many like me that will be shocked if we DO make in to heavin! love yah man! stay strong & keep letting God grow & change yeah. we all have not arived yet & thats ok.

  • Seth

    Wow.

    Thank you for being so candid; I don’t know that could say the same thing. In any case, calling those emotions what they are and putting them out there takes away a lot of their power over us. It’s the private, dark stuff that gets us into trouble. Bless you for opening yourself up!

    sd

  • http://churchscapegoats.wordpress.com/ Jen

    Thank you, Andrew, for your post about hating and forgiving. I know I am struggling, and have been with forgiving those who have hurt me in the past. Most of these people have been in the church. For me to love these people is something I don’t want to do. I don’t wish revenge or ill-will necessarily (not like I did before), but I don’t want reconcile with these people, and certainly wouldn’t mind if I never saw them again. I know for me to be a good witness for Jesus that I need to get to that point. But I’m not there yet. Thank you for your honesty as a Christian…I wish more of us were this upfront about these issues instead of hiding behind a mask or fakeness in order to win others to Christ. Thank you!

  • Michael

    Andrew, thank you for your honesty and transparency. I’m drawn to people like that, not ones who pretend they have it all together because I know I sure don’t.

  • http://www.graceground.com Sam in San Diego

    They are religious and they hate. Religion is their excuse. Their game is money, power, control, privilege. They can say whatever the want, but we ALL know they don’t look anything like Jesus. So we know who we’re really dealing with.

    When you were here for Lumen in January I was sitting at the table directly in front of the lectern where you spoke. Just before you got up to speak, an older woman sat down at the one empty chair at our table, and immediately began spewing the most vile, hateful mouth full of words I have heard in a very long time about LGBTs.

    A few sentences into her diatribe she paused for breath and I was starting to say my first word of response to her when you greeted the crowd. She left before your Q & A was over. For months I regretted that I didn’t have a chance to respond to her. I finally realized that her hatred is eating her alive.

    That’s what is going to happen to a lot of those people, Andrew. They’re destroying themselves. Maybe we just need to let them do it. But we don’t need to let them draw us into their cycle of hate and destroy us too.

    You’re in the middle and getting blasted from both ends. We support you and pray for you.

  • Linda

    “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.” 1 John 2:9

    • http://www.loveisanorientation.com Andrew Marin

      Linda – It’s hard for me to wrap my head around how classy you and your comment are. Thanks for quoting a Bible verse at me, calling me darkness and spitting on my vulnerability. I appreciate it. Way to go.

  • i.bond

    I don’t hate them because I know they will get theirs, and it’s not my job to give it to them. hate is just wasted energy that’s better spent elsewhere

    • i.bond

      anyway i hope your posting this was therapeutic for you. in my experience, again, i’ve found exercise to be very helpful.

  • marc

    I have watched your responses to criticism over the years and I’m unable to see a “different” response and “elevated” conversation. Anyone can write a book rooted in idealism and fail to live it out in those critical situations. Your foundation touts engaging tension differently. You show evidence of humiliating those who humiliate you. You demonstrate that a belittling comment toward yourself deserves one back.


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