Picking Your Healthcare Provider

In the past, I’ve never before thought about whether my healthcare provider was anti-abortion or pro-choice. When I was newly pregnant and looking for a doctor, it’s not something I really considered.

That is, until I was laying back on the bed in my doctor’s office with my shirt up and the ultrasound stick on my belly and was taken completely by surprise by the doctor and nurse going off on a pro-life tangent.

Now to be fair, it started with a joke. I said I wanted to put one of the images on facebook, and the doctor joked that that would be illegal because it would be child porn, and I pointed out that it wasn’t legally a child yet, and that’s when things got funny. Or rather, not so funny.

“Actually, there’s some disagreement about that,” the doctor told me. No there’s not, I said in my mind. The fact that it’s not a “child” according to the law we have today is not something that’s relative.

“It has a heartbeat,” the nurse explained. Is this seriously happening? I asked myself incredulously. What kind of alternate universe did I just step into?

I didn’t respond. I almost wish I had, but I was taken by surprise and I didn’t want to cause a scene. I just didn’t expect to get a mini anti-abortion lecture at my doctor’s office, in the middle of a routine ultrasound.

I don’t go to my doctor to hear his opinion on abortion, or any religious or political issue. All I ask of my doctor is for him to see me through a healthy pregnancy. I really don’t want to know his religious views or what he thinks of the ethics or morality of a legal procedure like abortion. That shouldn’t matter. Similarly, all I want of my pharmacist is to get the drugs I need and all I want of my health insurance provider is to have my doctor bills covered.

After this experience, though, I do kind of wonder. In the future, should I ask up front and make sure I get a doctor who is pro-choice? I’d like to think that a doctor’s political and religious views are irrelevant to his practice as a doctor, but the reality is that in today’s climate they aren’t, and the reality is that I’d simply feel more comfortable with a doctor I know supports my right to choose. Something to bear in mind in the future, I guess.

How We Disagree
Why Does Lily Work Two Jobs while Carl is Unemployed?
Fifty Shades of Evangelical Justifications for Patriarchy
What I Love about My Feminist Husband
About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.

  • Butchkitties

    I’ve read horror stories about women being in intense pain, developing severe infections, or nearly bleeding to death because their pro-life doctors refused to surgically remove (already dying or dead) fetuses. I think asking upfront is a good idea. Pregnancies do not always have happy endings, and a doctor who puts politics before a patient’s welfare can make an already sad and painful situation much worse.

  • http://raisinghellions.wordpress.com/ blotzphoto

    “In the future, should I ask up front and make sure I get a doctor who is pro-choice?”
    Absofrickinlutely. (I’m adding that to my spellcheck dictionary). If FSM forbid something happens to endanger your life over the course of the rest of your pregnancy you absolutely want someone in charge of things who is keeping all options on the table. I made in perfectly clear to the midwife all three times that there was never even close to a choice between my wife’s life and the Hellions. We can make more fetus’s (it’s fun!). The very idea that there are DOCTORS out there that would let a woman die rather than perform a lifesaving medical procedure makes me seethe with rage… (urge to kill rising!… plays Tallest Man on Earth “King of Spain”… urge to kill fades.)

  • Contrarian

    Are you sure that the doctor wasn’t just joking around with you?

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      No, but that has nothing to do with the point of this article. And even if the doctor was joking, the nurse definitely wasn’t.

      • Rosa

        also even if they were joking it would be terribly inappropriate. What if they found with the ultrasound that the fetus had died?

        I had a bad experience (not political, just bad – I am pretty sure I had an uneccessary treatment after my ectopic pregnancy just because the doctor was not too great and curious – he insisted that after chemical treatment for ectopic it was typical to also do a vacuum curettage “just to check if there is fetal tissue in there”.) that convinced me to pretty much always get a PP referral or recommendation through a prochoice network for any gynecological treatment. Doctors & nurses who value women give better treatment.

    • Conuly

      Even if it’s a joke, it’s a highly inappropriate one for a doctor to make to his or her patient, especially when the patient’s views on the subject aren’t confirmed.

      • Judy L

        Being in a vulnerable position as a patient really sucks. I think the appropriate response, and one that would hopefully de-escalate the issue and not let it go into the realm of personhood debates, would be to say to the doctor that there’s nothing pornographic about your fetus, and that you’d appreciate it if he would keep such inappropriate and offensive comments to himself, regardless of how he ‘means them’. And furthermore, if he really regards fetuses and pregnant women as something pornographic or obscene, you’d appreciate a referral to another ob/gyn who has more respect for their patients.

    • MadGastronomer

      Why would she want a doctor unprofessional enough to joke about something like that, either?

  • Carolyn the Red

    At my first appointment, my OB gently explained the different screening tests, and said that choices about invasive tests could vary depending on my views of “sanctity of life” and risks to the pregnancy. It was delicately put so as not to offend me, but it was pretty clear that he would respect and work with whatever view I had. He also said the first OB appointment was partly a chance to make sure I was comfortable with him handling my care.

    I have no clue what his personal opinions are, since he’s not making it about him. I would have been taken aback if he said anything about his personal views without me asking, whether it was to push invasive testing and abortion, or to counsel against the same.

    Long story short – yes, I’d look for a doctor who is pro choice, every time. I have had the luxury of not thinking about it so far. If my doctor had said anything like yours did at my first appointment, I’d call my GP back for an other referral (this one was a blind choice since my GP doesn’t know the doctors at my closest hospital). Is your GP pro-choice? At least “functionally”, in that they talk about abortion neutrally? For me, that’s the most important, in that my GP would find that unprofessional, the same way I would, and stop referring other women there.

  • S. Lane

    Overall, my answer would be yes, it’s an important piece of information to know. The possibility of offending someone or having a little spat in an exam room is trivial compared to the risk of a dangerous pregnancy.

    That said, you can also take your city’s political climate into account. If you live in Southern suburbia (or worse, a rural setting), you’re way more likely to stumble upon someone with a political agenda versus if your doctor practices in a liberal-minded city (I think this is especially true at academic teaching hospitals). Naturally, I would be much more emphatic about the importance of asking in the former case.

  • http://rookieatheist.blogspot.com/ Rookie Atheist

    Your experience reminds me of what Richard Dawkins (I think) once said: that he would avoid doctors who believed the Earth was less than 10,000 years old or who believed that homeopathy actually worked. At some point, there’s a risk that their personal non-scientific beliefs may cause them to refuse to administer medical treatment based on modern scientific consensus.

    Your case might be a little different to that, as it’s more got to do with morality (a woman’s rights over her body), which is outside the realm of science. If I were a medical doctor, I would be an atheist, anti-pseudo-science doctor. But as I mentioned to you elsewhere, I would still be uncomfortable with late term abortions. However, I would not speak about my opinions with a patient, and would avoid doing so even if openly asked to. I would practice medicine in a professional manner, according to both modern scientific consensus and the law, but always with my patient’s health and human dignity as a priority. I would not follow a shitty law that requires an ultrasound wand to be used when it doesn’t need to be.

    I suspect that in practice it might be difficult for you to find a doctor that is as pro-choice as you. I just looked up the stats from a 2011 Gallup poll, and although about 50% of Americans are pro-choice, only about 10% think that third term abortions should be legal. Of course, that figure is probably higher among the medical profession, and probably higher again among female medical doctors. I wonder are there any stats on that?

    So to end my rambling, I’ll conclude with this: yes, in the future it would probably be best for you to seek out a pro-choice doctor, preferably one that’s as pro-choice as you.

  • ALF

    My doc performs first trimester abortions. He started his residency at a time when abortions were legal in my state, but unsafe abortions were still performed (abortion was legal here in 1968). He said you could tell when “the abortionist came to town” b/c two weeks later, the ward was full of women with infections, and that he recalls a dead woman in the ER after her heart was pierced by a coat hanger in an attempted abortion.

    I’ve only recently considered the issue you mention. But no, I would not go to a ob/gyn that refused to perform abortions, even if I had a wanted and planned pregnancy. I will no longer use Catholic hospitals for care, either. If I’m in a position where abortion is necessary, I want to be able to have one.

  • Dianne

    I would strongly suggest that you not only ask up front with future OBs, but that you find a new OB to complete this pregnancy with. The reasons are as follows:
    1. This is a wanted pregnancy. If something went horribly wrong and you needed an abortion, the last thing you want is for the procedure to be complicated by having to find a new provider in the middle of mourning for the loss and the hurry to complete the procedure before various legal limitations.
    2. If your doctor is a dedicated enough “pro-lifer” he or she may lie to you about ultrasound results, etc. A doctor who will lie to you is NEVER someone you want to see.
    3. You’re going to be less certain of this doctor’s clinical judgement knowing that he is not completely on your side with respect to emergency situations such as a fatal fetal defect.

    • dx713

      +1, especially for number 2.
      I read that some legislatures are currently considering to authorize a “religious exemption” from telling the truth if it might lead to an abortion. Even if it’s still far from a law, it shows that one cannot completely trust a pro-life OB. In case something goes wrong, trying to second-guess your doctor, to think about what odds he could be presenting wrongly to steer you to an ideological side, is the last thing one needs to be doing.

  • Liberated Liberal

    Within the last week, I moved into a town where the only medical community is catholic. There is, thankfully, a Planned Parenthood, but I don’t want to give a dime of mine to a catholic medical center for any health issue. The nearest city to me is 3 1/2 hrs away. I’ve never been in this position before, honestly, and having come from a much more liberal town (not state) I’m angry.

    I’m a 30-year-old woman who does not want children under any circumstances, and the idea that they don’t want to give me a choice scares me to death.

    • Noelle

      And you know that they likely hire physicians who are atheists and Muslims too? Working for a Catholic organization doesn’t make one Catholic.

      • MadGastronomer

        Catholic hospitals frequently have rules that say that doctors cannot perform abortions, even to save a pregnant person’s life. Regardless of the religion of the doctors involved, they will be fired for performing an abortion in the hospital.

  • Aimee

    My last pregnancy was at a university hospital. I was referred there by Tricare because it was a high risk pregnancy. At first I was angry that they referred me there because I was always being seen by different doctors/ nurses/ residents/ interns and having to explain my situation to them over and over while they seemingly didn’t do much of anything for me. I suspect now that I was sent there because if anything did go wrong they would be certain to care for me. The OB department and hospital both provided abortions along with prenatal care.

    And I got a Mirena IUD for free due to a grant they had with the state after delivery which has served me well to this day :). Hooray pro-choice doctors!

  • http://dukesofearl.blogspot.com Joy

    Up-front ask your doctor if s/he performs or makes referrals for elective abortion. That actually is more pertinent than their political stance; the question is will the doctor help the patient get the care she needs?

  • Arakasi

    “It has a heartbeat,” the nurse explained

    Well, yeah, it does. So did the chicken in the sandwich I just had for lunch.

    I fail to see why this argument is supposed to be persuasive.

    • Dianne

      Oh, yes. A heartbeat. You know what happens in hospitals throughout the US? Doctors rip open the chests of patients and remove their still beating hearts. Why? Because the patient had the misfortune to die in a way that left their organs still usable and were generous enough to have agreed to donate them to someone in need if they were ever in that situation. Given that organ transplant-including heart transplant-is considered ethically acceptable, doesn’t that imply that there’s something wrong with this “heartbeat” argument?

      • ButchKitties

        And if you’re one of the rare heart patients with a continuous flow pump, you can be very much alive and yet have no pulse at all.

    • ArachneS

      Somehow the heart beat is supposed to evoke emotions and love. There is a lot of heart symbolism when people talk about how they feel about someone they love, and all of their feelings get projected onto the heart organism. I think this is something left over from when people did not have very much medical knowledge back in an early age.

      We now know well that the heart doesn’t hold any of our conscious feelings. It is a pump, and it pumps our blood. Yes, it keeps you alive, but so do people’s lungs, brains, throats and anuses. The heart beat has no more relativity to a unborn’s undeveloped conscious than its liver does, yet you don’t have anyone toting the liver as a bumper sticker tagline.

      But few people have this conversation. “It has a heartbeat” is supposed to shut down discussion.

    • Kevin Alexander

      Why have I never seen a billboard that says ‘It has a functioning kidney’

      • Dianne

        Because often an abortion is needed because it doesn’t? Non-functioning kidneys are actually worse in a fetus than in an adult or child because the urine is a major component of the amniotic fluid and without adequate amniotic fluid the fetus can be crushed. (Yeah, sorry for that description.) It’s one major reason for later abortions: the fetus is not going to survive and if it can suffer it will suffer prior to birth. (There’s a lively biology debate to be had about whether even a 40 week fetus can suffer, but that’s a different issue.)

    • http://kagerato.net kagerato

      Nearly all reptiles have a heart. Yes, that includes lizards and snakes.

      Similarly, nearly all insects have a nervous system and even the functional equivalent of a pain sense (or something like it). What that means for an organism without apparent self-consciousness nor long term memory is unclear.

      Many “pro-life” types do not believe in evolution, so these facts might be surprising to them.

  • http://carpescriptura.com/ MrPopularSentiment

    Yes, you absolutely have a right to know. Is your doctor going to withhold information from you because s/he thinks it might make you consider abortion? Is your doctor going to put your life at needless risk to avoid terminating a non-viable or dangerous pregnancy?

    But there’s something else that is really bothering me about your post – let’s say, for the sake of argument, that your ultrasound picture really does show a “child.” Since when is a family picture of naked child, taken for no reason other than wanting to preserve a memory, considered “child porn”? My family’s photo albums from my childhood are full of pictures of my naked, and I have more than a few pictures of my son naked. Are we going to be so paranoid that we’re going to distort this into something seedy, dirty, and pornographic?

    I weep for a society where the doctor’s beliefs can take precedence over the patient’s health, and where a photograph of child not wearing a burqa is considered pornographic.

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      I actually was pretty disappointed not to get the pictures I wanted, I have to say! :-(

      • machintelligence

        We have the ultrasound pictures done prior to amniocentesis for both of our children. The oldest is now24.

      • http://carpescriptura.com/ MrPopularSentiment

        Here in Canada, there are four routine ultrasounds (one at the beginning to establish the due date, two starting at around 24 weeks to monitor spinal growth, and then one later one to make sure all the organs (particularly the heart) are growing properly. I kept a picture from each them, and they are now in my son’s baby book. Or, you know, porn mag, as this doctor might call it…

      • Dianne

        I have to say the refusal to give pictures is strange. I have a print out of an ultrasound image from the amnio ultrasound (looks more like a moebius strip than a person) and several from the 24 week ultrasound. Including one that the tech printed out to explain why she thought we were having a girl. This “child porn” thing strikes me as just bizarre. Ok, so there’s a fetish for everything, but really. Ultrasound pictures?

      • Carolyn the Red

        @mrpopularsentiment: The numbers and dates of the ultrasounds vary – and there’s one that’s becoming more universal, the NT scan at 10-12 weeks. Together with a blood test, it means a lot of women can forgo amnio since it can indicate a lower or higher risk of chromosomal disorders.

        And my OB puts the gross anatomy ultrasound at 18 weeks, so it’s still before 20 weeks if major malformations are found.

        (I’m in Ontario, have friends with recent kids in Quebec and BC. Dates and numbers seem to vary a little among doctors)

  • B

    If I were in your place, I think I’d be looking for a new OB. It seems to me that a pro-choice attitude extends well beyond abortion into birth issues. A doctor who even subconsciously devalues the body and choices of a pregnant woman would be, I imagine, more likely to do things like cut a routine episiotomy over the patient’s objections or to coerce a woman into an unnecessary C-section.

    • jemand

      Yeah, this is a good point. If there is a “risk” that you are willing to take, I mean, perhaps even the doctor is misinformed, episiotomies I believe are becoming very much NOT the standard of care but some doctors do a lot more than others, even still. But regardless, it should fundamentally be your choice, or your husband’s in the case you are unable to make it. A pro-choice doctor I think would be more likely to request your permission for things, and respect your decisions, than someone who thinks he’s doing gods work and god (and he) always knows best.

  • jemand

    In the patient info file they had me fill out when I got a pap smear at my university’s clinic there was a section prompting any personal beliefs that would affect care. I suppose that is for people who would refuse blood or whatever, but I went ahead and said I wanted no prayers offered, no homeopathy or other nonscientific procedures suggested.

    I wondered about it because I wondered if maybe I would get poorer care from someone who was angry with the strength of that stance and my willingness to put it there up front, but I haven’t run into anything like that.

    I was pissed off, though, that when I got an ankle x-ray for a possible break, they made me basically swear I wasn’t pregnant. It’s not that they would have told me the risks and let me choose. I mean, I probably would have aborted had I been pregnant anyway, but they were going to likely *refuse me care* at least, the x-ray, which apparently was the normal standard of care, had I been pregnant. If I chose to continue a hypothetical pregnancy, but ALSO choose to have the full, normal, standard of care for a possible broken ankle… Well, I guess pregnant women don’t GET such choices, stupid little women. I was quite pissed off. On the other hand, I would kind of have wanted to avoid the x-ray to reduce the radiation *I* was exposed to and overuse of medical facilities, but I really didn’t feel comfortable having such a discussion with the nurse, as I was afraid she’d start thinking I was lying about not being pregnant and refuse to test even if it *was* necessary.

    I guess that’s what happens when pro-life laws undermine the trust between a patient and the medical community. I really, truly, just do not trust someone caring for me to actually care for *me.* That’s the bottom line.

    • Mairianna

      Don’t take the pregnancy question too seriously. The hospital needs to ask it to cover their butt from a potential lawsuit. It wasn’t religiously inspired at all.

      I work in clinical trials. We once had to have an 82 year old woman take a pregnancy test because that’s what the protocol called for to have any woman enroll in the study.

      It’s just CYA…

  • Kat

    Besides the fact that the pro-life talk on the part of the doctor and nurse was completely out of line/inappropriate, the “Child-porn” joke strikes me as really tasteless and inappropriate as well. Personally, I would find a new health care provider.

  • Scotlyn

    I was just thinking the other day that I would have had my first period in 1973, round about the time Roe v Wade made my right to choose a matter for federal protection. Sometime this year, or next, I will have my last period, just as these years of maximum female choice appear to be waning, at least in the US. I feel I have been most fortunate throughout my fertile years, in being able to trust that the law would protect my freedom to choose.

    Even in Ireland, my current home, where the law still bans all abortions – the “Irish solution” to this problem lying in the very close proximity of the more permissive UK – the pro-choice zeitgeist is still gaining ground.

    Nevertheless, although it is much rarer than it used to be, there are still echoes of the old Catholic anti-choice order, one of which I encountered around 12 years ago (age 40 or so, and already the mother of the only 2 children I intended to have) when referred to a hospital consultant to have a Mirena coil fitted. I paid no heed to the “St-something” name of the hospital, trusting in my GP to have referred me to the right place, and, as instructed, I had first purchased the said coil on prescription, in the chemist, and had it in my hand on arrival.

    The receptionist looked at me strangely, and I semi-registered a good bit of whispering in the background, but read my book while waiting to be called. Eventually a nurse called me over to a consulting room, which I entered, but only far enough for the door to be closed behind me. Blocking my way further into the room was the consultant, who asked me why I was attending a Catholic hospital for contraceptive treatment. I explained my referral, and then stood, in absolute mortification, still barely in the door, at the receiving end of a stern lecture on Catholic contraception ethics and the inappropriateness of my intentions, to which I couldn’t muster a word, as tears of humiliation streamed down my face and constricted my throat. As soon as I was “released” I ran.

    Afterwards, though, my GP got the brunt of my anger, as I explained what had happened, requested that no one ever be referred there again, and demanded she knuckle down and do the fitting there and then herself.

    In retrospect, I have regarded this experience as the echo of a dying order, but now, I’m not nearly so confident.

  • Radi

    Absolutely yes. I changed my PCP due to his extreme religious sentiments (plastered all over his offices) of the fundamentalist variety, and found one who was
    a. Not overtly religious
    b. Pro-choice

    Luckily, my OBGYN is solidly pro-choice (and among the very best in the Puget Sound region – she’s been in the top 100 doctors every single year for almost 10 years now). But if she weren’t, I’d switch. In a heartbeat. Even though I can most likely not get pregnant anyway, the last procedure I had means that in the event that I should get pregnant, I would have to abort, for my own safety. I have other health concerns that would also completely contra-indicate pregnancy, anyway. And I will only stay with a pro-choice doctor. OBGYN or otherwise.

    When I have that urge to have children (never felt it in my 40 years so far :P), I will adopt. After all, with people actively engaging in practically unobstructed Christianist terrorism (specifically, in this country) and general religionist terrorism across the world, there are FAR too many unwanted children on this planet anyway.

  • Kris

    I would definitely ask. My state is in the process of passing a law that several other states have saying that doctors who lie to patients about fetal test results with the intention of preventing abortion can’t be sued for malpractice. I’ve already had a conversation with my OB/Gyn about this. I apologized for prying and told her that I would normally never ask such personal questions, but that I needed to be able to trust her with my reproductive care. She was very understanding and told me that while she doesn’t currently provide abortion services, she was trained in the procedure and will help me jump through the legal hoops if I ever need one.

  • seditiosus

    This is an interesting thought experiment for me. My doctor’s position on abortion is unlikely to be personally relevant to me, but I still think I would avoid a pro-life doctor (and I would naturally warn all my female friends about said doctor). Why? Because a pro-life doctor is one who does not respect their patients. If my doctor doesn’t respect their female patients, how can I be sure that they respect me? Respect for patients has to be the foundation for a doctor/patient relationship, otherwise there can be no trust.

    I wouldn’t go to a doctor who advocates homeopathy either. If a doctor advocates things that are contrary to common sense and scientific evidence (see young earth creationism, homeopathy, spiritual healing etc.), it calls all their medical judgements into question. Science fail is at the top of my list of things I do NOT want to see in a doctor.

  • Noelle

    Do you expect every physician to answer that?
    It’s a fairly loaded question, especially if he or she doesn’t know your intentions.

    If she says she is pro-choice, but you are pro-life, how does she know you won’t tell all your friends and post it on every doctor review site on the Internet and get people to boycott her office, egg her car, and have her children taunted in school?

    If she says she’s pro-life, but you’re pro-choice, how’s she know you’re not going to all of the things I just mentioned above?

    Both scenarios could lead to her losing patients, credibility, and even her job.

    A good physician makes her decisions separate from her political, religious, gender, ethnic, socio-economic, sexual preference, everything. Your doctor was an asshole. You don’t want one of those.

    If you want to know, ask instead how she would handle a particular situation should it arrise. This way you’ll get to see her thought process and manner of interacting with patients. This is much more important.

    • Dianne

      The usual avoidance mechanism is to tell the patient that you (the doctor) can tell her options, but only she can say which option is right for her. That way, you’re not “pushing” abortion, just making the possibility known to the patient. Also, as the patient, you don’t have to ask about the doctor’s view in his/her heart of hearts, only his/her policy: Does s/he perform abortions? If not, does s/he refer? To whom?

      Doctors who don’t want to answer those questions should avoid OB/GYN as a specialty.

      • Noelle

        Some doctors don’t want to worry that people will shoot us through the head in our kitchens, while our children watch on. A good doc can use the avoidance mechanism you just described without ever revealing his or her personal political leanings on the subject. And that is more important than the actual pro-whatever.

  • Rilian

    There’s a certain type of male genital mutilation that is legal to force on another person. The fact that it’s legal doesn’t mean anything except that people are barbaric. The government doesn’t get to define reality.

  • Anon

    There are two sides to that coin. The OB/GYN who did my 20-week ultrasound for my now 10-year-old son was pro-choice, but he had HORRIBLE bedside manner. While looking at the ultrasound screen, he bluntly said (looking at the screen and the nurse, not at me), “Something is definitely wrong. Really, really wrong. We need to order some more tests so you can decide what you want to do about it.” Meaning of course, whether or not I wanted to abort. He then got up and left while I was lying there in tears, and the nurse tried to comfort me. I refused to see him as a doctor again, and later he was asked to resign (seems he offended one too many patients). The rest of my pregnancy involved a lot more ultrasounds, bed rest, steroid shots, and meds to stop preterm labor, but my son was born weighing 7 lbs and completely healthy. All that is to say, I am much more concerned about a doctor’s bedside manner and ability to explain and relate to me as a human being, rather than their moral stance. A pro-choice jackass isn’t going to do you much good. I know that probably seems obvious, but I remain shocked at the number of doctors I’ve had over the years who were in desperate need of social skills.

  • http://liseusetheloverofreading.wordpress.com/ Natalie

    This is why blogs were invented, I suppose.

    • MadGastronomer

      What is, exactly?

      • Paula G V aka Yukimi

        She is just being passive-agressive. You answering her is like feeding a troll.

  • Lyra

    Yes, you need to know if your doctor is pro-choice or not. If (stars forbid) something goes wrong with either this pregnancy or another subsequent pregnancy, you aren’t going to have a lot of time and energy to find a new doctor. You’re going to need a doctor who you know will have your back.

    So find a pro-choice doctor as soon as you can. If you never need that doctor to be pro-choice, great. If you do, everything will already be in place.

  • http://beholdconfusion.wordpress.com/ Sara

    The OB/GYN I had when I first got married had a really repulsive bedside manner (in addition to some literature/posters in the office that were suggestive, if not upfront about it, of being pro-life). When I first got married my first priority was not getting pregnant. I wanted whatever form of birth control would be most effective for me. When I told him this he said, “Why, you’re married. You can get pregnant and it’s not a big deal.” I was flabbergasted. I stuttered out something about my financial and healthcare situation (mostly that is none of his business, and, of course, a woman doesn’t need ANY EXCUSE for not wanting to get pregnant). I never went back.