Teenage Boys and Pedophilia: Evangelical Purity Teachings Blur the Line

Last week I briefly mentioned Debi Pearl’s suggestion that working mothers should worry that the babysitters they hire to watch their kids might have their boyfriends over for sex on the job. I pointed out that if you’re worried that your babysitter isn’t trustworthy, you should find another, and that there are plenty of responsible teenage girls out there. One reader responded with this comment:

Geneder essentialism alert! Boys can babysit as well.

Yes, yes they can, but not in Debi’s world, and not in the conservative evangelical community where I grew up. I think this is an important issue to understand, because it sheds light once again on how purity teachings harm boys and men as well as girls and women.

Growing up, I babysat all the time, and was in very high demand. When I wasn’t available, they usually asked for my next-in-age sister. Once they struck out there, they sometimes asked for my next-in-age brother. But my parents didn’t allow him to babysit—even when people asked for him specifically, and some did. Why was this? Because he was male. It wasn’t because they saw childcare as a female thing (though they did) that they turned down requests for my brother to babysit. It was because . . . here, let me let James Dobson explain:

I think it is relatively safe to leave children with mature adolescent girls, although they should be told they cannot invite their boyfriends to come over. I would not recommend leaving kids of either sex with teenage boys since there is so much going on sexually within males at that age. Although there might be no problem most of the time, you must do all that you can to make sure that the devastation of child abuse does not occur even once in your children’s entire childhood.

The idea that teenage boys are more sexual than are teenage girls (and of course that men are more sexual than women) pervades the evangelical subculture, and within evangelicalism it not infrequently translates into a concern about leaving young children in the care of teenage boys. Of course, the extent of concerns varies, and even conservative evangelicalism is not a monolith. Sometimes these concerns show themselves merely in a reticence to let a teenage boy watch young children alone (i.e. without the presence—and thus “accountability”—of adults or other teens), and other times they go further and result in, for example, a blanket ban on males working in the church nursery (as was the case in the fundamentalist church in which blogger Sarah Moon grew up).

To get an idea how far these fears over male sexuality can at times extend, though, take a look at James Dobson’s response to a question about letting a child sleep over at the home of a friend who has a single father:

I would not suggest that you allow your daughter—or your son—to spend the night in a home where there is not a mother you trust.

Within evangelicalism, the idea that females are more nurturing than males and thus better able to care for young children is augmented by the belief that men are both highly sexual and easily tempted into sexual sin. Taken together, the result is reticence to put teenage boys—or even males in general—in positions of authority over young children to whom they are not related without the presence and accountability of another adult—preferably a female adult.

Now of course we who are parents should be careful about who we leave our children with. I wouldn’t leave my kids with any sitter, male or female, whom I didn’t either already know or hadn’t had personally recommended to me. But this automatic aversion to male babysitters stems from the idea that men are highly sexual creatures easily given to temptation while women are, well, less driven by their sexual urges. And setting up this female-babysitter-safe/male-babysitter-dangerous dichotomy also risks making parents feel they don’t need to be as careful in vetting female babysitters. Once again, gender essentialism means people look at your gender to see if you’re qualified rather than looking at your character, your skills, and your interests.

Further, this isn’t just about the statistics of who is more likely to abuse. It’s about the idea that teenage boys (and men) are unable to restrain themselves from raping unless they are carefully surrounded by protective boundaries. It’s not just about protecting children, it’s about protecting teenage boys (and men) from themselves. It’s about the idea that inside every man and teenage boy is a monster longing to get out and go on a rampage, a monster constrained only by the careful rules and restrictions of society, and of the evangelical subculture.

This is also about the way evangelicals’ single-minded focus on whether or not a sex occurs within marriage blinds them to the vast difference between consensual sex and rape, and to the difference between healthy sexual relationships and unhealthy sexual relationships. Think back to Dobson’s concern about having teenage boys babysit because “there is so much going on sexually within males at that age.” Dobson appears to think that the fact that many (most?) teenage boys would give their right hands for a girlfriend and the chance to have consensual premarital sex means that these same boys would just as readily channel their sexual energies into sexually molesting children. When the only thing you tell teenage boys about sex is to say “no,” and when you also view teenage boys as under a constant barrage of fire from colossal sexual urges, you lose the ability to see that the fact that a teenage boy would gladly have sex with a willing teenage girl if given a chance does not mean he would also gladly sexually abuse a child if given the chance.

Evangelicals cannot teach their sons a healthy sexual ethic because their sexual ethic revolves around nothing more complicated than saying “no” outside of marriage and thus places consensual sex with a girlfriend in the same box with child rape with little differentiation or distinction. When combined with the idea that men are sexual beasts who are only kept from wanton rape by the constraints of civilized society, you end up unwilling to leave a teenage boy alone with young children for fear of what that boy might do to them—and to himself.

I am so very, very sick of all of this. Not angry sick, not right now. Just, sad sick. No one wins here—everyone loses. Everyone. File this away as reason #357 that patriarchy—and purity culture—harms guys too.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way. Christian feminist blogger Dianna Anderson has started writing about evangelicals’ need to develop a healthy sexual ethic, and she’s not the only one. People are finally starting to wake up to the nightmare that is evangelical sexual ethics—or rather, their lack of an actual system of sexual ethics—and to demand change. It’s about time.

Red Town, Blue Town
A Letter from Jesus and Living in Fear
Steve Is a Man: On Minecraft and Gender
Stop Stressing Out and Give Your Kid a Snuggle
About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.

  • veganatheist01

    Off topic question: where do you get the pictures you post with articles? Are they stock photos, pictures of people you know? I always wonder about that.

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      Stock photos.

  • Anat

    Libby Anne, didn’t you write about Sean playing with your younger siblings (or was it nephews/nieces)? Is there an age when men become ‘safe’ again? Are married men ‘safe’?

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      The issue isn’t simply “teenage boy/man playing with young children” but rather “teenage boy/man in place of responsibility over young children without the presence of any other adult for accountability.” I remember once there was a church event and a team of babysitters was needed, and my brother was allowed to come along with my sister and I. But that’s because there were numerous teens there, and thus less opportunity (and thus less temptation) for abuse.

      Even so, my parents had no problem leaving the younger kids in the charge of my brothers if my mom had to take all of us older girls somewhere; in other words, relatives get a pass. Sean gets a bit of a pass there too, and being a father yourself also makes you safer. (Although I think single dads would be more suspect than married dads.)

      It all ends up becoming degredations, a sort of spectrum with “father watching his own children in company with other adults” on one side (perfectly safe) and “teenage boy watching non-relative children alone” on the other side (very unsafe). And it varies from family to family and church to church, of course.

  • ako

    Yeah, that kind of thinking is really likely to both deeply damage teenage boys (“Your own parents don’t trust you to not molest children if left unsupervised, and your spiritual authorities are saying you are inherently untrustworthy on that front”), and provide cover to abusers (they can pass off their actions as mere “weakness” in the face of “temptation”, and put some of the blame on other people for letting them near children). So creepy.

  • Sarah-Sophia

    When I was growing up childrearing was a female thing but nobody thought that teenage boys would molest children if they were alone with them, it was just that women were more better at it.

  • Sgaile-beairt

    theres a racy victorian memoir, anon of course, with the narrator, talkng abt how some of his earliest memories as a preschooler….are being molested by his nanny & the housemaids, who used their charges as “toys’…..women can be just as bad when it comes to mixing sex & power over the helpless….but thats not in the Fundie script!!

  • http://criticallyskeptic-dckitty.blogspot.com Katherine Lorraine, Tortue du Désert avec un Coupe-Boulon

    I used to work at the nursery at my parents’ church when I was a teeange boy (I’m trans.) After about a year of my working there, with absolutely no incidents prior, they sawed the doors to the bathrooms in half, they made rules about all teenage boys must have either a teenage girl or an adult woman with them at all times, and only the women could change diapers (not so broken up about that.)

    It was like the church distrusted me entirely. They thought I would do something horrific. It was for the safety of the kids to make me feel like they didn’t trust I would do the right thing when it came to the little kids I was watching.

    It’s probably one of the things that started to chip at my faith.

  • ERB

    “teenage boys would give their right hands for a girlfriend and the chance to have consensual premarital sex”

    A friend of mine lost his virginity as a young pre-teen to a teenage female babysitter. Historically, this friend’s male friends (and I’m sure some female, too) reacted to this story with laughter and maybe a slap on the back. But that’s not how it felt to him: like some coup. He felt violated. I wonder how often women are sexual predators and the boys are just labeled “lucky.”

    • J-Rex

      All the time! There was a whole South Park episode about it. Stan tells the cops that a teacher is having sex with his brother Ike. They’re all ready to arrest this pervert when they find out that it’s a hot female teacher and they all say, “Nice!”

    • Rosie

      I also personally know someone who, as a young teenage boy, was preyed upon by a woman. Who was never brought to justice. And there’s a kid who looks like him to prove it too. But the male victims of female predation are invisible in the patriarchal paradigm, and it’s hard to get a midwestern county prosecutor to do anything before the statute of limitations runs out.

    • Mogg

      I personally know two males who as children were sexually abused by females, one by a close relative and one by teenaged girls. One of them in particular had huge issues as a result which affected his adult relationships negatively, and in both cases the male felt abused, not “successful”. AFAIK neither situation resulted in legal repercussions for the female/s.

    • Petticoat Philosopher

      Way more often than anyone wants to think about. This happened to a close male friend of mine with an older female relative when he was 8 or so.

    • http://dukesofearl.blogspot.com Joy

      According to a conversation I had with a social worker who investigates sex abuse cases, this happens more often than you’d think.

  • http://itsbetterthanyours.blogspot.com AndersH

    Another thing that angers me with Dobson’s words is the use of weasel words where you don’t say what you mean, but rather let assumptions and stereotypes fill in the sexist blanks. The same thing with consent being “complicated”.
    Time to push people to say what exactly it is they’re implying.

  • http://www.texannewyorker.com jwall915

    perhaps this is a side tangent, but I thought it was pretty damn rich for Dobson, of all people, to warn against the devastating effects of child abuse. Um, his child-rearing books pretty much mandate child abuse: physical, verbal, and emotional. And yes, Dobson, it’s devastating. Not that you take any responsibility for that. I can only assume he was specifically meaning sexual abuse in that sentence. Still, it definitely made me roll my eyes…

    • smrnda

      Dobson seems to consider abuse to be something that only people outside of the family can inflict on a child. He basically sees parents as somehow perfectly wise and incapable of doing wrong, unless they fail to beat their kids often enough..

      • http://www.texannewyorker.com jwall915

        Very true, he does put parenthood on a pedestal. It’s like he makes parenthood into an institution, like marriage or something.

  • Eric D Red

    “teenage boys would give their right hands for a girlfriend and the chance to have consensual premarital sex” (did you do that on purpose?)

    And if they were allowed to consider their right hand a valid option, they might have a healthier view!
    Seriously, masterbation jokes aside, when any option for sexual outlet is treated as equally bad you set the stage for problems.

    • kisekileia

      This. I’ve seen some really creepy stuff happen in that context.

  • Holly

    Oh so now all of a sudden a female can be in authority over a teenage male?

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      No. The fact that you wouldn’t put a teenage male in authority over young children because his sex hormones might carry him away does not mean that you would put that teenage male under female authority (or at least, that you would do so without expecting him to chafe against that authority, and justifiably so).

      • Holly

        “Taken together, the result is reticence to put teenage boys—or even males in general—in positions of authority over young children to whom they are not related without the presence and accountability of another adult—preferably a female adult.”
        Of course they would not endorse full time female headship or anything relating to spiritual guidance but doesn’t the above quote mean there is one are in which women hold authority over men?

      • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

        Oh, I see where you’re coming from. I would put it like this: Children are under women’s authority, and women are under men’s authority. Women serve as sort of a buffer between the men and the children, but ultimately, both groups are under male authority. It’s like Gothard’s umbrella analogy.

  • plutosdad

    This is one of the awful things that affect us men. I wanted to volunteer as a tutor for children, but I was always afraid to. I did not want to get dirty looks or accused of something. My friend who was substitute teaching little kids was told he was not allowed to hug the kids. And he was teaching in a horrible school with students from broken homes who needed hugs. But no.

    Of course, this is really due to patriarchal attitudes much more than some “every man is a rapist” claims by certain feminists. People are more aware of children being attacked than we used to be, yet we still think it is sexual in nature, just like we think rape of adult women is. So we worry about strange men instead of fathers and uncles that we should be looking at.

    Now that I’m married, it is probably a lot safer for me to volunteer with kids, but I’m over 40 and feel a little old and not sure I could keep up :) But I work for a non profit now anyway, so I don’t spend many hours volunteering for other agencies or people.

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      It absolutely is due to patriarchal attitudes, and especially patriarchal ideas about sex. If you see men as sexual and women as asexual — which is what the Victorians did — it’s quite natural to conclude that young children are safe under the care of women and girls but not under the care of men and boys. If you see men as naturally aggressive and women as naturally nurturing, you get the same thing. These aren’t ideas that have developed as a result of feminism — indeed, they’re ideas feminists are trying to dismantle (especially the idea that women are nurturing while men are not, and the idea that men are innately more sexual and aggressive while women are less sexual and more passive).

      And I want to point out that I don’t know of any feminists who say “every man is a rapist.” I know of lots who say that we as women have to be aware that any man we come in contact with might well turn out to be a rapist, and to act on that awareness by being cautious and protecting ourselves from bad situations (“Schrodinger’s rapist”). But that’s not the same thing, and being cautious does not mean treating every man as a rapist or refusing to ever trust a man or cutting men out of your life entirely, etc.

      And I mean, if you try to apply “Schrodinger’s rapist” to children what you get is that children have to be cautious because any adult might abuse them. Well yes, it’s true. But “any adult” means “any adult” not “male adults,” because the abuse of children, whether sexual or not, is not simply a male thing. That’s what I meant when I said that we parents should absolutely be careful about who we let watch our kids, but that needs to be an individual thing, not a gender thing.

      And what you said about not letting your friend hug his students? Ugh. Just, ugh.

      • Emmers

        IIRC, the “every man is a rapist” meme comes from people who have vaguely heard of something Andrea Dworkin said once, but never actually read or studied her work. (Full disclosure, I haven’t read her work either, but I know people who have, and apparently she doesn’t actually say that.)

  • alr

    Libby Anne, your experiences are not always universal. I recall teaching Vacation Bible School at two different Evangelical churches where I handed my group of children off to pairs of teenage boys for outdoor game time and no females or adults were working with them and no one was worried. In all my years in crazy Christian school, I never heard a single person from any of the 40+ evangelical denominations express such a thought. Older students interacted with younger students in many ways in the school. Boys were not allowed to supervise younger children alone in the school, but neither were girls. That was a matter not of any warped ideas about sexuality but of state law and liability: no students were left without supervision by certified staff.

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      I’ve amended my post slightly to point out that there is a great deal of diversity in evangelicalism. At my church, growing up, teenage boys would totally have been allowed to coordinate the kind of Vacation Bible School things you suggest, but they would have to do it in pairs or groups, not alone. But yes, evangelicalism isn’t monolithic.

  • Lauren F

    The closest I’ve come to experience like this is that both my childhood church and my church now have rules against (church-related) childcare being provided by any unsupervised person. It’s more of a CYA thing to protect everybody in light of all the abuse incidents being reported in all sorts of churches these days, rather than any sort of feeling that our volunteers might actually molest kids.

    I mostly wanted to share that the boy in the stock photo reminds me a lot of one teenage boy at my current church. This kid is actually tagged as a bit of a trouble-maker in my mind, from stories I’ve heard from him and his family. And since the first day I brought my son to church (he’s two now), this guy has been sweet as sugar pie to him, which I admit TOTALLY surprised me when it first happened! He always greets my son, high-fives him, tousles his hair, played peekaboo with him when he was more of a baby. Nothing artificial about it. He just likes kids and treats them well. If they lived closer to us I’d let him babysit in a heartbeat!

    • http://patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism Libby Anne

      Yeah, I’m totally fine with making rules about church-related childcare. Background checks, having two people on duty, or what have you, that’s completely reasonable. The issue I have is the way many conservative evangelical churches inject gender into it.

  • http://abasketcase.blogspot.com Basketcase

    I see this paranoia even in the mainstream.
    I have friends who refuse to let teenaged boys babysit their kids, even ones they know well. I’ve been told I shouldn’t let boys babysit mine, because its “not safe”.
    On the other hand, we have a family friend who has an awesome 15 year old, and if he is keen for babysitting duties when our little one arrives, we would be stoked, mainly because its so darned hard to find baby sitters at all.

    I am also really sad about the fact there are so few male teachers at all levels, which is precisely because of these fears. The men are scared of being accused of something they did not do (which happened here in the 90s), and so they dont go in to teaching. When our young boys NEED those role models!

    • Mogg

      You have beaten me to it – I was going to say that this is not an attitude confined to Christianity by any means. I have a male aquaintance who was a child care worker. He was hounded out of the industry by paranoid parents and other, female, staff members. The severe lack of male teachers at primary school level has become even worse since my time in primary school in the 1980′s. I know of cases where male teachers have had female students threaten to accuse them of “touching” if the teacher confronts them over poor behaviour. It also happens in other “caring” professions – a male nurse may be subject to not only funny looks because he’s in a “female” job, but outright suspicion if he wants to specialise in something like paeds or midwifery. I once worked in a specialist women’s hospital, and the attitude against even male obstetricians was virulent in some wards – from the staff, let alone patients. The one male midwife I knew of didn’t stay very long.

  • Sheena

    Oh, that “any and every man/teenage boy is a rapist or molester waiting to happen” lie just infuriates me. It’s awful in the context of the modesty doctrine (“you’d better cover up or some pervert will hurt you!”) and it’s awful in the context of “men can’t be trusted with young children, they’ll hurt them!”. My boyfriend is great with kids, but he’s very cautious; he’ll only really “cut loose” when he’s around good friends and their children, and won’t even smile and wave at a child unless I’m with him and I do the same (even then, we’ve had protective parents respond with “say hi to the nice lady” and look at him sideways). Honestly, he’s better with kids than I am, but that attitude of “any man who looks at a child is a predator” keeps him from helping with kids’ outreach.
    A friend of mine has been married for about two years, and her husband teaches second grade (it’s his third or fourth year teaching). Once he can get past the initial suspicion, parents (and the kids) love him — he’s an excellent teacher. But, because he’s male, the assumption is that he’s an elementary school teacher for ulterior motives.

    Stupid patriarchy and gender essentialism.

  • Hilary

    Another side to this, even more sinister – it’s a common lie that all gay people were molested, and become homosexual because someone sexually abused them. This is so wrong on so many levels, but I wonder if Dobeson et all are also insinuating this: don’t let sex crazed older boys around children because the kids will get molested and become gay.

    Followed by the unspoken meme that being gay is worse then being molested.

  • alavine

    The way you’ve described your community, I’d worry more that a male or female babysitter would hit my kids.
    When I was a teen babysitter, I threatened and hit kids. It never occured to me that their parents might object if they found out. I guess they never found out because it never got back to me and I never had any repercussions.

  • alavine

    (but i guess that wouldn’t be a cause for concern for Debi!)

  • Anonymous

    I’m so, so glad to see some Evangelicals working toward healthy sexual ethics. I think that this lack also contributes to the Evangelical perception that once a person is no longer constrained by Christianity, he/she becomes a promiscuous superslut. I know that, from an Evangelical perspective, I totally fit that stereotype: I slept with a lot of people while in the process of losing my faith. When I was a Christian, once I lost my virginity, I figured that I was a sinner anyway and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Once I became an atheist, I sort of went, “Sex without enormous crushing guilt? Wheeeeee!” But, contrary to much Evangelical thought, it’s not that atheists CAN’T have sexual ethics. The reason I didn’t was because CHRISTIANITY didn’t provide me with any ethical framework other than “Don’t. Then get married, and do.”
    When I was growing up, my community pointed to the number of people who left the church and then started sleeping around (or drinking, or doing drugs, etc.) as proof that humans need religion to keep from becoming hopeless degenerates. Somehow it never occurred to them that if you tell people enough times that there is no morality without God, it might take them a while to figure out how to act morally once they stop believing that there is a God.

  • lucifermourning

    I am reminded of an incident when I was a young teen (maybe 12 or 13?) My best friend’s mother was generally pretty strange and unreasonable, something I was slowly starting to learn as I got to know her. On this particular day, Friend had come over to my house to play. Time to go home, and my dad was giving her a lift. Normally, I would go with her, because spending more time with Friend was awesome. But my youngest sister decided to be a brat and refuse to go, so Dad told me to stay home with her while he dropped Friend off home. (The rest of my family was out).

    All fair enough – sometimes it’s just not worth arguing with a 7 year old.

    Friend’s mother *freaked out*. Because my dad had dropped her kid off without me in the car. So he’d been alone with her daughter for about 15 whole minutes. She didn’t say this directly to him, though I told him when I found out, from Friend, who’d had to endure being screamed at by her mother about it – I was confused by the whole thing. My dad, who is generally the calmest, most laid back person ever, was incredibly offended. Which, in retrospect, makes perfect sense, because she was basically suggesting he was a pedophile.

    For some reason, after that, my parents were not such a big fan of Friend’s mom (though were always civil, as they liked Friend and didn’t want to make trouble for her).

  • Anonymost

    Isn’t that the underlying fear in society as a whole? I mean, there is alot of paranoia involving men watching children. If I had children I would be very reluctant to let any man or boy not in my family watch my children,

  • http://www.pasttensepresentprogressive.blogspot.com Latebloomer

    Exactly!! When my husband and I first started dating, I was shocked to learn that he had regularly babysat when he was a teen–that was not even an option in the world I grew up in. I couldn’t believe at first that his family’s neighbor would feel ok about that arrangement. How messed up is that?? He’s amazing with kids–better than me in many ways.

  • Alice

    So many good points! Fundie parents sometimes also have this attitude toward male peers. One time when I was a teenager, the neighborhood boys invited me to play basketball. The oldest boy was a year younger than me, and everyone else except maybe one kid were in elementary school. They were good kids who didn’t get into trouble. My dad tried REALLY hard to get them to play basketball in my driveway, but they always played at the goal down the street because there was more room, so we went there. So my dad stood outside and watched us the entire time. As though playing outside in a neighborhood on a Saturday in broad daylight with boys younger than me was oh, so dangerous! As though I was a helpless damsel who couldn’t do anything if they had actually threatened me! I was so embarrassed and angry.

    My dad would also not let me go to a girl (from church)’s house because she had brothers. That situation was more understandable, but the ridiculous thing was that my parents never told me what to do if a boy said or did something that made me feel uncomfortable, they just expected that they could always keep me from getting into that situation in the first place. Despite all of their protective measures and worrying, there were still a couple of times growing up when I was sexually harassed. It is impossible for parents to watch their kids 24/7 and protect them from everything. I did the best I could in those situations, but felt like it was my fault somehow.

    The modesty doctrine was also a bit traumatizing. I remember my mom giving me a serious talking-to when I was 12 because I had accidentally worn a short shirt and loose jeans without a belt around an adult male (who was the father of a girl my age, and a deacon). She said that when men see ladies’ underwear, “their minds go to….bad places they shouldn’t go.” I felt so ashamed and afraid that all men only saw me as a sex object, no matter how old they were. For most of my teen years, I wore big clothes that hid as much of my body as possible.
    It is still really hard for me to feel safe around men and to know who I can trust and who I can’t.

  • http://www.elijahturrell.com Elijah Turrell

    As a guy, I fall victim in this area ALL THE TIME. Especially, since I’ve always been involved in children’s ministry. My first job was in childcare, but I couldn’t work in any class younger than first grade. I work in the nursery at my church, but there always has to be a female with me. I got funny looks in high school when I told people I was thinking about studying elementary education in college. I get funny looks now when I tell people I want to study psychology in grad school and work with physically/sexually abused children. At work (in the pediatric unit), I have to ask parents if it’s ok that I work with their child or if I should switch with a female nurse.
    And it’s because of the pervasive mindset that since I am a guy, I must be a predator. When in reality, your child is probably safer with me than anyone else. Not only do I have nearly ten years experience in childcare, I have two years experience in pediatric nursing.
    It’s very frustrating how much extra red tape I have to go through just because I’m a guy.

    People also assume that I’m gay (when in reality I’m straight) because I have a “nurturing nature.” Since ‘real men’ are hypersexualized predators, I must be gay. (sigh…..)