This Is What It’s Like to Be a Muslim Adoptive/Foster Parent

Anonymous

How long have you been fostering? How many children have you fostered?

We are in the foster-to-adopt program and have been fostering two boys for over three months now. So we are relatively new to this whole transition.

What made you want to become foster/adoptive parents?

My wife and I both planned to adopt before we even knew each other. Once we were settled in our life together and our own son was old enough, we started looking into the adoption process. We got certified through an adoption agency and it took us about year and a half before we got blessed with two boys.

What has your experience been like as Muslim foster parents?

When we wrote down our wish list, we didn’t know what the God had planned for us. We were looking for one child, preferably a girl of age 2-3 years old, as we had our own son. However, we came to know of these two kids from a Muslim family in the system and we opted for them. They are just shy of teenage. As our son is half their age, the process came with a different set of challenges.

They were in the foster system for about two and a half years before they moved into our house. Their grief of losing everything they had in their lives, coming into a new environment/culture, and distrusting that it is their final move, made it a little bit challenging to the extent that we started having second thoughts.

However, with a lot of patience and long frank discussions with the boys, we were able to break the wall after almost two and a half months. Still, it gets challenging at times with certain behaviors, but the intensity of challenges has reduced quite a bit.

What were the reactions you received from the Muslim community when you decided to foster/adopt?

From the community, the only thing we heard was praise and not a single negative comment on adoption. A few people reached out to us asking about the process, as they were interested in adoption as well. Many were in awe that we took such a bold step in our lives and considered us as role-models for other community members. The only (sort of) turn-off for some people was the ethnicity of the adopted kids.

What are some misconceptions that you have noticed the Muslim community has about fostering and adopting?

There is an increasing need for adopting kids, and especially, Muslim kids in the US who are in the foster system. People don’t realize this fact, that they don’t need to adopt from overseas as there are plenty of kids here in our own backyard. Most Muslims don’t realize that fostering/adopting is a very noble deed and has its roots in prophetic traditions. Some of the highest caliber people we believe in, such as, Moses, Joseph, Mary, and Mohammed, peace be upon them, were all foster kids.

What is your message to the Muslim community regarding this topic?

“To save one life is like saving all mankind.” That is what all scriptures, from the Old Testament to the Qur’an, tell us. If you have the mental, physical, and economic capacity to foster or adopt, please do it in the name of the God. It can be one of the greatest accomplishments of your life that will lead you directly into heaven inshaAllah.